I didn’t ACTUALLY stab anybody over a pair of python pumps.
I mean technically I MIGHT have MAYBE threatened to THEORETICALLY stab the diminutive, hairy-chested man swishing his way towards me with a meaningful glint in his eye at a secret, invitation-only 90% off sale at a local high-end boutique on Sunday but seriously, I didn’t like the way he was eying my shoe booty. Besides, assault charges and resultant incarceration are temporary, a python court shoe is forever.
I give you the Michael Kors “Cairo” pump. I cannot recommend this shoe enough (see also: stabbing, defensible reasons for.)
You won’t be able to get my python pretties, but if you’re in the market for a subtly sexy, curvaceous investment pump with a surprisingly wearable heel that you’ll return to again and again –like that kinda skeevy guy in college who wore a serape and always wanted to tell you about his theeeories but could do that weird double jointed thing– these might be the shoes for you.
A word to the wise: they run comfortably wide and about a half-size big. Enjoy!