The Big Question: Special Fill-in-the-Blank Edition!
By PlumcakeFrancesca and Plumcake want to know:
I would rather _______ than hear my mom/grandmother/”concerned” female relative eye my body, sigh dramatically and wistfully say “…but you have such a pretty face.”
(Plumcake for example would rather hot oil wrestle a particularly unfriendly badger…naked.)
August 24th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Relive junior high school
August 24th, 2007 at 11:10 am
Ooh, Heather’s is good. As for me: I would rather be covered in paper cuts and dive into a vat of lemon juice than hear my mom/grandmother/”concerned” female relative eye my body, sigh dramatically and wistfully say “…but you have such a pretty face.”
August 24th, 2007 at 11:36 am
“run buck naked down (Chicago’s) Michigan Ave. during the height of the Christmas tourist shopping season”
August 24th, 2007 at 11:53 am
stab my own left hand with a serrated knife
August 24th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
perhaps this isn’t exactly in the right spirit… but I would rather have an Orange Mocha Frappuccino and go shopping than…
August 24th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Okay. As a college student here’s my answer. I’d rather be locked in a frat house with 10 frat guys and 10 sorority girls who are drunk…and thus probably mean. You can imagine what would insue.
August 24th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I would rather listen to the story of what Grandpa did in the war AGAIN … (And btw, it’s not just female relatives. I got a lose-weight pep talk from an uncle two days ago. An uncle who can afford to have a personal trainer come to his house three days a week. Must be nice.)
August 24th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Have a root canal with no anesthetic.
August 24th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
I would rather walk naked across the arctic!
My mother does that. My father is good about it though. He amused me to no end when I was getting married and had attempted to wear my mom’s wedding dress…she has a slighter frame than I do so there was no way I’d fit into it despite the fact that she was respectably chubby at that point in her life. My father said…’you could shrink your ribcage…if you started now with one of those asian corsets…’ I thought to myself, ‘my! what *is* he watching on his satellite t.v.’?
August 24th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Appear on a reality TV show called “Who Wants to Be Flayed Alive!?”.
August 24th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
I would rather spend a week trying to explain to a neocon what ’separation of church and state” means.
August 24th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
I would rather chew glass than…
August 24th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
I would rather stick a rabid squirrel up my nose than hear that particular phrase ever again.
I might even rather french kiss Karl Lagerfeld. (That might be a draw, actually.)
August 24th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
I would rather eat a Naga Jolokia pepper (hottest pepper in the world) laced with hot sauce than hear my mom/grandmother/”concerned” female relative eye my body, sigh dramatically and wistfully say “…but you have such a pretty face.”
August 24th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
Ah, Datagoddess, let us please have no politics here, for all love. There are sites aplenty on the Internet where one can indulge the acrimonious sniping based on the religion and the politics; here, please let us restrict it to the horrible shoes and the celebrity fashion disasters.
The Annalucia grew up with the insidious variation on the phrase – she is alas very hirsute and she often heard, “What a shame that such a nice face is ruined by the mustache and the goatee,” or words to that effect. To complete the phrase, however, she likes the Orora’s suggestion – after having the five babies the Annalucia has so little modesty that she could probably walk naked down the Michigan Avenue with very little discomfort. (Of course the other people, they would run away screaming, and she would probably be arrested as well, but that is another matter.)
August 24th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
La BellaDonna, she would blush prettily and say Thank You! thus putting an end to it.
And then she would wake up, because her mother and grandmother only visit her during her dreams. She does not know what they do with the rest of eternity, but mostly they seem to spend time in the kitchen when they visit.
August 24th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
….have my entire body waxed while listening to small children have temper tantrums…..
August 24th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Sorry about that. *is ashamed* I read this on Bloglines with the Daily Kos feed and it bled over.
How about I would wear disco clothes to a goth club?
August 24th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Have a threesome with Lagerfeld and Karl Rove.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
my usual response would be “repeatedly stab myself in the thigh with a dinner fork” but Abigail’s response has made me realize just how small my idea of self-debasement really is…
Abigail is the superfantastic queen!
August 24th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
No wait – I think Sarah got it right! Better to do something fun than hear something miserable.
It’s like at work we used to say something like, “If I got hit by a bus tomorrow, here’s where you could find those files.” Then we realized it was more fun to say, “If I won the lottery tomorrow and never came back to work, here’s where you could find those files.”
So … go Sarah! ;-) I’d rather have a treat and go shopping than get a backhanded compliment, too.
August 25th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
…listen to twelve hours of German Expressionist opera performed by Yoko Ono and Leonard Nimoy…
August 27th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Amanda’s brain terrifies and fascinates me, but I’m going to have to go with: climb a stack of buttered weasels.
August 29th, 2007 at 10:33 am
Luckily for me, I would wonder how I ended up in someone’s else’s family.