Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

August 30, 2007

The Big Question

Filed under: The Big Question — Francesca @ 7:04 am

Today’s Big Question has two parts:

1) What are you waiting to do until after you lose weight?

2) Why not just do it, whether you are thin or not?!? (This part is rhetorical!)


  1. The first time I came across this idea (to wait to do something until losing weight), it flabbergasted me. I’m thankful that particular meme passed me by!

    Comment by TeleriB — August 30, 2007 @ 7:48 am

  2. Well, in general, I have not been waiting to do anything, but I have been playing with the idea of not going to see my doctor next week and to put off the appt. until I’d lost 10 pounds because that is what she told me I needed to do – and then I decided to just screw it.

    Comment by Toby Wollin — August 30, 2007 @ 8:12 am

  3. Cut my hair. I’ve had the same hairstyle for 15 years. Its straight (I’ve got Teflon hair, it won’t hold a curl), its long (I can just about sit on it), its dark (well, that part I like). I always wear it up in a bun because I can’t really do anything else with it.
    But I think my face is too round for a shorter style to look good. I think I’d be even more rolly-polly with shorter hair. I’m sort of itching to cut bangs, but scared I’d become the muffin-woman.

    Comment by Helene of Troy — August 30, 2007 @ 10:07 am

  4. Have professional head and body shots taken. Why has my waiting been bound up with my weight? I have no idea…

    Comment by Never teh Bride — August 30, 2007 @ 10:14 am

  5. I’ve come to the conclusion that life is too short to wait on my weight about anything.

    As a lovely side effect of that decision, I started taking better care of myself and have dropped four dress sizes in the last two years. I look and feel better than I have in a decade. I also have less regrets and more war stories.

    Comment by Twistie — August 30, 2007 @ 10:21 am

  6. Call me crazy, but I think everyone has a sort of “comfort zone” where they feel their best. Not a perfect weight, not some magical perfect jeans size–just a place in your life where you’re doing your best for yourself and for your well-being, no matter WHAT the scale says.

    …Anyway, I’ve kind of been out of that “zone” for awhile. Work and stress and life take their toll. It’s easy to forget to eat your fruits and veggies, it’s easy to slip out of a (healthy, low-impact) workout routine, easy to spend too much money on quick junk food instead of taking the time to make an economical, healthy breakfast. That kind of thing.

    I’ve started to try to get back into those good habits, because I just realized I didn’t feel as good about myself as I want to. The number on the scale hasn’t changed much, but that’s not really what I’m after. I’m never going to be a spindly size-2, 100-pound-waif. I’m nearly six feet tall; I have gigantic bones and size-12 feet. Even if I magically lost every ounce of my body fat, the scale is never going to give me small numbers.

    I guess I’m waiting to get more comfortable in my good habits, set a good routine again, get back on track. I feel more superfantastic about my bad self when I take good care of my bad self. (Regardless of how that bad self tips the scales.)

    Does that make any sense? I’m sure that was way too long. Hee.

    Comment by jerseymonster — August 30, 2007 @ 10:44 am

  7. I was feeling all superior: “Who would hold back on their LIVES until they lost weight?!” But then I realized, I am refusing to go through my closet & purge clothes again until I ditch the surprise-package 10 pounds that appeared out of nowhere last Feb. & have refused to budge. I have put off shopping for a dress (and trying on my old ones) for a big family wedding in the US, because the bride (my sister-in-law) is a naturally skinny glamazon with large implants & I didn’t want to feel bad next to her.

    Screw that. If I can get up in front of a class of 15 strangers & mirrors every week in spandex & teach yoga whatever my weight, I can be fabulous at the wedding without losing a pound. And ditch that moral superiority complex.

    And I am SO agreeing with the “living life in a healthy food & exercise place because it FEELS better ” vibe of this blog. Thank you.

    Comment by QuiteLight — August 30, 2007 @ 11:01 am

  8. A year ago the Annalucia bought two dress patterns manufactured in the late 1930s, intending to have them made up into dresses as soon as she lost a few more pounds.

    She has not done so yet, not only because some of the pounds are still there but because the quotes she received for the dressmaking were in the $800 range and she does not want to inflict that kind of hit on the family budget. The patterns are quite handsome though. Alas that the 1930s were the last time that anyone designed the clothes flattering to the Annalucia (who had not even been born at that time.)

    Comment by Annalucia — August 30, 2007 @ 11:17 am

  9. Helene of Troy, I am a big girl with a round face, too, and I just got my hair cut short. Really short. Like, BOY short. I was worried about looking like a moonpie, but I don’t. I love it. I’m getting compliments right and left. It takes sixty seconds in the morning, and my head isn’t hot all the time. Go get one of those short-hair magazines, circle the pics you like, and take it to a hairdresser you trust. She’ll do you right.

    To answer the question: I keep putting off buying a really nice suit because I don’t want to spend a lot of money on something that might not fit next year.

    Comment by Jezebella — August 30, 2007 @ 11:32 am

  10. Like QuiteLight, I’m waiting to clean out my closet. Though I’m slowly working up to it. Several months ago I finally donated to charity my old Gap jeans from college that I’ve always told myself will be some sort of sign of success if I can wear them (as a sort of icon for clothes from non-fat lady stores) again. Finally I decided I needed the closet space for clothes I actually like! And besides, they were heavyweight denim and I really prefer the new lightweight stuff more anyways, so who needs ’em?!

    I still have a dozen or so one- or two-size smaller shirts I’m not willing to get rid of just yet, but I’m working up to it. I think I’m going to try a trick I read about on GTD recently — turn all your hangers backwards! When you do laundry, hang the hangers up normally. In a year, having just proven to yourself that you do not in fact need or wear that item of clothing, get rid of it and shop for something new you will wear instead!

    Comment by sabrina — August 30, 2007 @ 12:09 pm

  11. I’ve been big my whole life – if I waited to do anything until I lost weight… well, I’d never have done anything.

    I did lose a considerable amount of weight a few years ago, most of which I’ve kept off, and when I did the only real thing that came about was that I was finally able to shop at H&M (and I didn’t really fit in clothes from Lane Bryant anymore). I bought my first mini-skirt :-)

    Comment by SarahMarieCecelia — August 30, 2007 @ 2:01 pm

  12. Sadly, I think my list of things I’m putting off would be as long as all the other comments already in the thread. I think what it comes down to, though, is confidence. I’m not ready to feel confident about myself (and therefore do all the things I’d want to do — join a dance class, apply for a better job) until I “deserve” to, aka, when I’m a “normal” weight.

    I recently discovered Kate Harding’s blog and she led me to this one, and both have been so… great for me. I tear up thinking about it. :o) I still have a lot to work through, but I’ve been taking steps in the past few weeks to clean out my closet and embrace the idea of dressing my body in a way that looks good no matter what size it is, which is a huge step for me (no pun intended).

    This blog and others like it are awesome. This big girl thanks you from the bottom of her heart. :o)

    Comment by JadedKitten — August 30, 2007 @ 2:02 pm

  13. Helene of Troy, if you need a bit more incentive, may I present Locks of Love, an organization that takes donations of hair (10in or more) and makes wigs for children who have medical hair loss. Since I have fast growing hair, I’ve done this three times in the past 6 years. You can see pictures of my transformations from links at the bottom of this page. Go to a good salon, talk to your friends, find someone you can trust. Often having a good cut with some layers will help highlight the good things about your face and bring out your eyes more than a long mass in a bun.

    Comment by Pinkleader — August 30, 2007 @ 2:19 pm

  14. Getting a breast reduction. I want one, I need one. I’m scared to lose a part of me, a part of what makes me me, a part of my identity. I’m weighting to lose weight, (because I never lose weight in my freaking boobs) so that I can be the size that I’m more comfortable with, (that comfort zone size mentioned above, not something skinny,)… ridiculous girl complaining fashion-what if i get them too small or too big or too round or too something. i’m 23 i’m not resigned to the fact that i have to be this big or look this way forever.

    and i as well i’m still waiting to throw out clothes. I have shirts from seventh grade. they’re not even cute anymore. and yet they sit there. it’s like i’m scared i’ll run out of clothes that fit me and i’ll have to resort to them. RIDICULOUS. i’m newly inspired to do that even though i am currently losing weight.

    Comment by Brittany — August 30, 2007 @ 3:35 pm

  15. The only thing I’m waiting on is to go have some FABULOUS naked pictures of myself taken, which no one but me will ever see. Just something to look back on when I’m 85 and say “Damn, I used to be HOT!”

    Yeah, I should probably do it now. By the time I lose the weight, my boobs will probably sag…

    Comment by Linmayu — August 30, 2007 @ 5:04 pm

  16. I had a breast reduction this year and at my heaviest weight ever. I am happier than I have ever been with my body (still heavy, but I can move now). I too thought that my personality was tied in with my breasts and have been pleasantly surprised to learn that it wasn’t. I urge anyone considering it at any weight to talk to your doctor.

    Comment by rachel — August 30, 2007 @ 6:38 pm

  17. Wear jeans. Except now, with Lane Bryant’s new Right Fit jeans, I don’t have to wait! They accommodate my big pear body quite nicely. I think waiting to do “X” until I was thinner was something I said goodbye to along with my thirties and I’m much better of for it.

    Everyone should know, if they don’t already, that IGIGI is having a big sale!

    Comment by Abigail — August 30, 2007 @ 7:07 pm

  18. 1)a.Wear a bathing suit. b.Wear lingerie for my husband. c.Have sex on top (hey, you asked!)
    2) because if I wore a bathing suit now, I’d just cover it up with shorts or a sarong or something, and what would be the point? b: I think he’d change his “I don’t like lingerie” tune if I looked more like the video chicks. c. um..I think it’s pretty obvious why.

    Comment by ginag — August 30, 2007 @ 10:34 pm

  19. 1. Get more tattoos. The ones I have are on parts of my body not prone to expanding or contracting with weight gain or loss, but I’m going to have to venture out from those comfort zones if I want to keep decorating my body with symbolism, while still staying within “work friendly” guidelines. I’m just afraid that one day I’ll wake up weighing an extra 25 pounds (that’s how it feels like this last 25 pounds got added on!), and my beautiful artwork will be distorted or shot through with stretch marks.

    2. Have a baby. While I may be the proud owner of child-bearing hips, I know that child-delivering and child-raising are easier on a body that is fit and healthy. Since I feel neither fit nor healthy at the moment, I keep telling myself that getting pregnant is going to have to wait until I reach those states. Using this excuse, of course, keeps me from having to confront all the OTHER reasons I don’t feel ready to have a baby yet – how conveeeenient!

    Comment by Elina — August 31, 2007 @ 12:34 am

  20. Helene of Troy, you go get yourself a fabulous haircut this very weekend! Stop women on the street if you like their hair. Having everything pulled back into a bun will make your face look far rounder than some volume and interest up top ever will. You deserve beautiful, sexy, fun hair that you enjoy wearing–not a style born out of frustration!

    And in answer to the question? Everything I really want. I smash down the possibility of love all the time, knowing that they’ll reject me once they realize I’m not a size four. I do this as if the guys don’t have eyes and we haven’t been seeing each other and they haven’t been saying nice things. I’m such a lame scaredycat sometimes. Gah! Then there are the fun things like bikes and trying to wakeboard, and finally, actually believing I deserve everything I have and want. For some reason, I have no problem putting off fashion…

    Comment by Sara — August 31, 2007 @ 2:29 am

  21. As a response to everyone who’s responded to me:
    I don’t really want *short* hair (boy-short, as Jezebella calls it). And I’m not a great candidate for Locks of Love, since my hair is color-treated and extremely fine. I have found some styles I like, but I haven’t been able to convince myself that I wouldn’t regret then after a week. For example, something like this: (can I do html links here?) seems a possibility, although not a short. I would probably cut off about a foot, leaving my hair to stop at about my bra line.
    The other factor is that I wear glasses, which are quite funky. I love their big, plastic, chunky selves and don’t want to upstage them. My husband has been trying to find me a hairdresser out of the mainstream (who won’t charge me an arm and a leg), but so far no luck.

    Comment by Helene of Troy — August 31, 2007 @ 9:22 am

  22. That’s a really pretty haircut! I have funky glasses and am a fan of the Nicole Ritchie-esque sunglasses myself. The bangs like that make you all mysterious and sexy librarian with the glasses.

    One place that will give good hair is Toni and Guy. A few years ago my stylist got sick and had to be in the hospital for a while, and I need a haircut. A friend who shared the stylist said she was going to try T&G as an interim thing. Off we went, taking pot luck. My Megan is beyond super fantastic. All my friends have moved over to her. The friend I went with has moved and had good luck at the T&G’s in her new cities. I think the starter price is in the $40-45 range, and it’s more if your stylist is one of the ones who teaches the other stylists.

    Comment by Sara — August 31, 2007 @ 12:28 pm

  23. So, here’s the thing about hair: it grows back. If you get a cut that’s not exactly what you were hoping for, give it a month or so. I recently got a long A-line that, at first, made my face look more round. But its been about two weeks and the longest layers have grown and look FABULOUS. It can be hard to look at yourself with a haircut that’s outside of your comfort zone, but sometimes change is a really good thing and who knows, you might just love your new style! I say GO FOR IT, GIRL! Rock your new cut!

    And as for me, for some reason, I am waiting to meet the man I have been talking to online until I drop at least 10 more pounds. Why, I have no idea. I know he’d be happy with whatever I look like…and, like most everyone else, I am my own harshest critic.

    Comment by JayKay — August 31, 2007 @ 2:24 pm

  24. As for the haircut… I go to a salon which charges $60 a cut, and I make about 32,000 a year, but it is TOTALLY worth it. I had the same long haircut for the past 12 years, then ventured into uncharted waters to cut it to about bra length. Then I moved to the city and realized I needed an urban cut that would look professional and work in any weather (I live in Chicago). I have to sacrifice to get my hair cut, but my stylist is FABULOUS! I saw some haircuts that she gave friends, walked in the salon, told her my 3 criteria (has to look good after being blown in the wind, has to be easy to maintain–10 min or less in the bathroom, and it has to look good when I sweat–which is all the time in the summer). She chopped off 8 inches, did some funky layering that I didn’t really understand, and now I get more compliments on my hair from men and women than ever before! I have sexy librarian purple plastic glasses and they are complimented by the new do. Your hair is an intense statement of who you are and if you are going to make a big change, it is worth it to invest in a truly excellent stylist.

    So that is my two cents:-) And I would say that the thing that I have put off is dancing more… I have recently lost some weight without any real intention and dancing has become much more attractive and possible. Which means more weight will probably be coming off in the near future. What a lovely upward spiral!

    Comment by Rebecca — September 1, 2007 @ 1:47 am

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