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There Are No Whiskers On My Thighs! | Manolo for the Big Girl

There Are No Whiskers On My Thighs!

Saturday afternoon found me with some time on my hands before a fancy-dress ball so I thought I’d take one for the Manolo team and visit the mall to see if I could lay my hands on a pair of those supposedly miraculous Lane Bryant “Right Fit” jeans. As a personal note, I hate malls. There are very few things I wouldn’t do to get out of going to one, and most of them are prohibited by the Geneva Convention or the laws of physics anyway.

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Friends, my ass looks fantastic. Seriously, I’m not sure in the past few days since I’ve owned and worn my Right Fit jeans if my rear end has actually inspired poetry, but frankly it’s just a matter of time.

The jeans are brilliant and the fit system is a revelation. I’m a “Blue” which means I’ve got a teensy little waist and hips broad enough to birth the U.S.S. General Nimitz …sideways. The flares, which look dated to me anyway, are too flare-y and bizarrely long even for my 5’10” frame, but the stretch bootcut is just perfect. The length is good, the colors are attractive without being fashion-y and perhaps best of all THERE ARE NO WHISKERS ON MY THIGHS!!!

So even if you hate the mall, do your fanny a favor and get fitted for a pair of these jeans. Then do what I do, avoid the unwashed masses (including a sales girl who smelled her own feet while she was ringing me up) and buy the rest online.

Incidentally, I got asked out by five –Five? FIVE!– guys the first night I wore them. Those are some jeans.

30 Responses to “There Are No Whiskers On My Thighs!”

  1. Mo September 5, 2007 at 10:56 am #

    I’m wearing my pair of yellow Right Fits right now and I have to say that I am in love with them. I’ve finally found a pair of jeans that will make my ass look nice without the waist cutting off circulation to my lower half. I’m so excited someone has finally brought their amazingness to the public.

    And I hear you loud and clear on the mall situation. Luckily my LB is a stand-alone.

  2. Twistie September 5, 2007 at 10:56 am #

    So…do these paragons of pantaloons come in petite sizes? If so, I must scrape together the sheckles to invest in a pair.

    Also, I must publicly confess my ignorance: what are thigh whiskers?

  3. Style Spy September 5, 2007 at 11:04 am #

    Want.

  4. Nabushi September 5, 2007 at 12:06 pm #

    Twistie – LB has the new magic jeans in P, R, and T. Thank god. Also, I think the whiskers are when your jeans bunch up horizontally.

    I do recommend going in and trying on, since while I got the color shape right (also a blue), I was a number size smaller than my measurements suggested. Hooray!

  5. Jen September 5, 2007 at 12:48 pm #

    I’m gonna have to check those out plumcake, sounds like my kinda jeans! Another brand of jeans I will suggest for us with more to love are Baby Phat jeans. My ass gets all kinds of compliments and I love the fit!

  6. Jezebella September 5, 2007 at 12:58 pm #

    These jeans sound like must-haves. But more imporatantly:

    How do you smell your own feet while standing behind a cash register?

  7. Dowdydiva September 5, 2007 at 3:37 pm #

    I ADORE my tall Yellow jeans. They are supa-long, even for a 36″ inseam, are tapered in the thigh, and I do not feel my waist is being tortured whilst my poor legs drown in denim. Love the sex-ay dark wash, too.

  8. Meg Q September 5, 2007 at 5:20 pm #

    well, I was about to go into the usual “why can’t we get these here in Canada” but I looked and we CAN! Thanks, Lane Bryant!

  9. Sara September 5, 2007 at 5:34 pm #

    Whiskers (or whiskering) is when they lightly bleach a crease pattern at the thighs to simulate many long years of wear. They were totally the hottest thing eh-var in, like, 1999. Then they were everywhere and badly done and make you look lumpy and awful.

    If you haven’t tried them, do. But you have to get fitted because the new sizing system is all funky and in no way corresponds to whatever your usual number size is.

    I’m wearing my dark wash Blue Right Fits right now! The inseams are super long. I’m 5’7 and have to wear a low-mid heel with the avg length. But after having them for a couple of weeks, I have to say I’m a teensy bit sad about that 1% spandex. Should have gone down a size or two. Now I guess I’ll just have to buy more for sexy going out jeans. How very difficult for me.

  10. Esther September 5, 2007 at 5:52 pm #

    Another brand that fits well if you wear below a size 20 is Old Navy’s Curvy jeans:

    http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=5468&pid=393784&scid=393784002

    I’m a 16 short, and they’re the perfect length, wide enough for my butt, but don’t gape at the waist.

  11. Esther September 5, 2007 at 5:53 pm #

    Oh, and Old Navy does also sell plus-size jeans up to size 30, although the styles are different:

    http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/category.do?cid=5668

  12. Barthway September 5, 2007 at 10:03 pm #

    Cake, I’m in awe. That has to be the most tasteful recounting of a clerk smelling her own foot in the history of the Internet.

  13. Jenna September 6, 2007 at 1:44 am #

    Ew, on the smelling of the feets.

    Speaking is a recently hired LB salesperson, I can relate that we are not all crazy feet-smellers. Go in and get fitted- a lot of people freak out about it, but it takes a second, and I have fitted so many people, I can pretty much eyeball anyone and know.

    Also, if you want to get your jeans, get them now- there’s a great promo going on (at least in the store where I work) where it’s $5 off if you buy 1 pair of pants (or skirt, or jeans) $10 of each pair if you buy two, and $20 bucks off EACH if you buy three or more.

    Oh lord, I sound like I have been drinking the Kool-Aid. But I love these jeans! (And I am wearing my Yellow Boot-cut Dark Wash Right Fits right this second.) My husband calls them The Sexy Pants. Seriously.

  14. Jane September 6, 2007 at 10:12 am #

    Plumcake, you have almost convinced me.

  15. Amy September 6, 2007 at 11:46 am #

    I feel I’m the only one NOT loving these jeans. I went to LB the other day and got measured (they claim I’m a blue as well), but I didn’t like the fit at all. The rise was way too high on me (past my belly button), even the petites were waaay too long on my 5’4 body, and I was just generally not happy with them. I tried a range of 4 sizes and every available style, and asked 2 salespeople if maybe I wasn’t a blue at all but they both insisted I was. By then I was too frustrated to bother arguing so I didn’t insist on trying another color…maybe I’ll try a different LB and see if things go any better.

  16. QuiteLight September 6, 2007 at 1:00 pm #

    Yay! More tall women who hate the malls! Amazing. I will look into LB jeans; I’m hovering right at the edge of plus size, being a size 14 and 5’10”, so sometimes regular sizes fit, sometimes they don’t. GAP jeans are my standard, but I have to be patient & try on a LOT of pairs, and endure shocked sales-nits (“It didn’t FIT?!? But that’s as big as they come!”). (I’m in customer service too, I’m denigrating these individuals, not the profession.) But when they fit, they rock.

  17. Elina September 6, 2007 at 2:03 pm #

    I L-U-V my new Lane Bryant Right Fit jeans. I’m a yellow, which is the apple-shaped body, and I can’t tell you how exciting it was to put on a pair of jeans that actually FITS. They’re loose enough in front to avoid the dreaded cameltoe, yet snug enough in the back that my backyard looks fantastic. When you try them on, don’t be afraid to go down a size if the first pair doesn’t knock your socks off. The spandex really makes a different in the fit.

    Even better: Lane Bryant makes a dress pant that uses the Right Fit sizing system. I am currently wearing my Houston pants, and I have never had a better-looking caboose while at work. If I told you the number of dress pants I have purchased in the vain hope of finding a fit like this, you would be shocked that it is possible to count that high. And as if the amazing fit wasn’t enough, I think they’re reinforced with Teflon: I spilled coffee on them three times the first time I wore them, and it just beaded up and rolled right off. Un-freaking-believable.

    One last thing: if you’re on the fence about picking up a pair of these jeans, you should know this: THEY’RE ONLY $39. I know, right?

  18. Abigail September 6, 2007 at 4:22 pm #

    Loving my Blue Average 5’s. My pear shape makes it so hard to buy pants that wear mostly skirts, but no more. Wee!

    The sales staff at my LB are lovely and helpful and I’ve seen no smelling at all. It helps that this particular LB is RIGHT by the mall entrance so I can zip in and out.

  19. caitlin September 6, 2007 at 4:30 pm #

    I, too, feel like I’m the only one who isn’t in love with the pants. I wear the Red jeans, but I’m VERY disappointed in the length of the inseams. I used to wear average LB jeans perfectly. They were my miracle jeans. Then they went and mucked it up. I’m 5’6″ with a 32″ inseam (or so), and now I’m in between an average and a petite length- the average are too long and the petites a hair too short. Total bummer. I wear a lot of flat shoes, so I bought the petites, and I’m only kinda satisfied. I didn’t know there were so many 6’1″ women around. Also, there’s so much stretch in the jeans that they don’t fit properly for more than one wear.

  20. Brooke September 6, 2007 at 6:34 pm #

    I just bought a pair of these myself – Blue talls. PERFECTO. I’ve never had a pair of pants that fits this well without being tailored! I bought ’em a little small on the advice of the salespeople because of the stretch factor, so we’ll see how it goes.

    And I am very sorry for all you ladies for whom the fit isn’t working. That is a total bummer! I’ll be over here glorying in the just-right rise, the just-right length (me plus 2.5 inch heels, just the way I like ’em), and the beautiful flattering dark color. Sweeeeet.

  21. Adenike September 8, 2007 at 12:06 am #

    Seduced by the words of the awesome Plumcake I wandered into LB today. So far, I am loving the yellow jeans in petite. Oddly enough, the size that fit me best was two numbers below the one they recommended. Is this because they are so very stretchy? However, on the positive, my relatively nonexistent bottom is very much flattered and the color is AMAZING!

    As Elina mentioned, they are only $39, but I got them for $19! Yay sale!!

  22. dr nic September 8, 2007 at 3:49 pm #

    I am loving my new size 2 petite blue in bootcut (the saleswoman found the last pair in that size in the store). And for all of you who really like the fit, the LB I shopped at is doing a pilot program – they’re expanding right-fit into dress pants. So I managed to get a pair of nice black pants for work that fit perfectly. They’re only making the right-fit in the Houston trouser in black right now, but it seems like they’ll be expanding.

    I will say that the saleswoman initially had 5’3″ (when I really stretch) me trying on the average, but seeing my reluctance, grabbed a pair of the petite ones as well. The petite pair was the better fit for length.

  23. g-dog September 8, 2007 at 9:53 pm #

    I was going to ask you if anyone had tested this out yet – good to hear! I would definitely be a yellow – I will have to check these out – jean & dress pants.

  24. Loir September 9, 2007 at 9:22 pm #

    I’m curious, what’s the slide down factor once you’ve had them on for a while? that is what I hate the most, when my tummy rests atop the waistband after wearing pants w/stretch fabric for a bit.

    these jeans have piqued my interest! I was just lamenting the sad state of my pants drawer, now that it’s getting into fall.

    thanks!

  25. Eilish September 11, 2007 at 12:20 am #

    I bought my red flare petites a couple of weeks ago in dark wash and I am going back to buy them in every other available color. I love them! They fit perfect and at 5’2″ the length is even right. My ass indeed looks fabulous!

  26. Baby Phat Clothing October 15, 2007 at 6:53 pm #

    If a search on baby phat clothing comes up with a link to Manolo for the Big Girl! Monday, then what might the same search bring up the following day??

  27. SteveD September 16, 2008 at 1:26 pm #

    Don’t forget Fashion Bug has them also! $21 (onsale for 5 off) now. I wear 5 yellow. They fit better than men’s jeans. No baggy rear end and are perfect length too.

    I have 3 pair from Catherines and one from Lane Bryant and 2 from Fashion Bug. I could not be happier with them.

    SteveD

  28. SteveD March 8, 2009 at 8:13 am #

    They are great Jeans. Took the Daughter out to Fashion Bug and got her some. Amazing little thing was 2 Blue. All 110lb of her (Size 2 Normal Sizes).

    Who would have thought she was curvy? God she was dressing in her Boyfriend’s Jeans.

    She got that and some NYDJ for Christmas. SaleGirl was very helpful when I got her Christmas Presents (she wanted gift cards and I hate just giving that, so clothes also).

    SteveD

  29. Jasmine November 18, 2010 at 3:04 am #

    solved properly asap.