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Do You Own a Pair of Apple Bottoms? | Manolo for the Big Girl

Do You Own a Pair of Apple Bottoms?

I do not as a rule find backside billboards to be in the best of taste. While I support both literary pursuits and the heartfelt admiration of my rear-end as separate worthwhile activities, I do not think they ought to be done together. Either one, and perhaps both, will inevitably suffer and heartbreak will ensue.

We hold these truths to be self evident

I think I might change my mind if the subject matter of said literature was a bit more refined. If someone created for me a pair of mid-rise nip-waist dark-rinse bootcuts whose backside featured the whole of say, Browning’s “Sonnets from The Portuguese” (excluding #43 which is just tired, even for pants) I might be tempted to give them a try. But as it is, most of the slogans I’ve come across would fit more appropriately on a hand-lettered cardboard sign held by a man who sold slightly aged greengage plums from the back of his mustard-colored El Camino.

Still, long time internet pal Violet has brought Apple Bottoms jeans –whose plus-size denim can be found under the “Curvy Ladies“– header to my attention with the note that she “had heard good things” about them.

What about you? Do you have an experience, for good or ill, with Apple Bottoms jeans?

Let your fellow big girls know and we won’t just tell you we love you, we will count the ways.

19 Responses to “Do You Own a Pair of Apple Bottoms?”

  1. ottermatic October 11, 2007 at 8:15 am #

    I think they’re kind of tacky, but I have a strong personal prohibition against labeled clothes. Also the line is by Nelly (at least nominally), and I don’t want to buy women’s clothes from a blatant misogynist (see: Tip Drill video) or advertise his brand on my ass.

  2. Shazza October 11, 2007 at 11:35 am #

    No. Words. On. My. Bottom.

    Ick.

  3. Twistie October 11, 2007 at 1:07 pm #

    I make it a rule never to wear a corporate logo across my butt – or, indeed, any part of my body – to advertise the clothing I’m wearing.

    They look nicely cut, but I’m not comfortable with strangers reading my rear, even if it’s Shakespeare or one of Anthony Trollope’s pithier passages.

    Now if there was a non-advertisement sonnet down one leg….

  4. Amber October 11, 2007 at 2:41 pm #

    I have several pears, they are my favorite jeans and the ONLY ones that fit me properly. Before I found them every other pair of jeans that fits my butt gapes horribly at my waist. Yay for jeans made for big butts.

  5. B.S.A.G. October 11, 2007 at 2:58 pm #

    I always mis-read that for a second as “Ample Bottoms,” and can’t decide which phrase I’d less like plastered across my backside.

    When a company’s “logo” is big descriptive words, it becomes more than an advertisement – it’s a caption. Keep ’em off my body, thanks.

    Those butt-labels always remind me of an off-brand of jeans worn by someone I knew long ago: ClassiAss. With, yes, a little picture of a donkey – perfectly illustrating the adage that people who use the word “classy” usually aren’t.

  6. loretta October 11, 2007 at 4:25 pm #

    I see on the website that not all the jeans they’ve got are quite as, er, textual as that pair.

  7. Denise October 11, 2007 at 5:03 pm #

    I loathe having stuff written on me (with the possible exception of the grocery list scribbled on my hand)… but I too may make an exception for Sonnets from the Portuguese, as long as it ran all the way down the legs in BIG print. Bad enough to have people reading my butt, let alone squinting at it.

  8. Misalexis October 11, 2007 at 5:09 pm #

    Love them, they fit fabulously and they are very durable, comfortable, and they are always on sales at Macys or at discount stores like Marshalls. They run large and are VERY stretchy, but they do not show every lump and bump. They have cute tops also. They are my second favorite brand behind Baby Phat (with Old Navy as third).

  9. class-factotum October 11, 2007 at 5:49 pm #

    I would like to applaud anyone, however tacky they might be for writing on the butt, for designing jeans that fit women whose butts are bigger than their waists. I tried on some Limited jeans today at TJMAxx and the waist gaped so much I could fit several five-pound bags of M&Ms in there. I am not big right now (although I have been and probably will be again, if we learn anything from history), but have to wonder at the marvel of body perception that requires me to wear an 8 so my butt will fit but wants my waist to fit in maybe a 4. I know I am not the only woman in the world with a 10″ difference between my waist and hip measurements!

  10. OCCaliAKA October 11, 2007 at 7:59 pm #

    That style is a definite pass. I applaud Nelly’s effort, but my taste is much more conservative than that.

  11. Rebecca October 11, 2007 at 8:52 pm #

    Several years ago I watched a documentary of sorts involving Nelly and his search for the perfect Miss Apple Bottom. I was not impressed by it, and it bothered me so much that there’s just no way I’d purchase any of those jeans. Not even if I were Bonita Applebaum.

  12. Holly October 12, 2007 at 9:59 am #

    I have 4 or 5 pair of Apple Bottom jeans – with the purchase of these jeans I not only received good fit but they also included a bum with them – so for this flat a@@ girl I dont care what kind of writing is on the back as long as they continue to send the bum included with the jeans!!

  13. Jen October 12, 2007 at 12:56 pm #

    I have a couple pears of AB jeans and I love them! They have a great fit and they make my ass look good! Baby Phat’s, AB’s, and Levis boot cuts are my fave denims.

  14. Ash October 12, 2007 at 1:20 pm #

    I disagree that Sonnet 43 is tired – the first line have become cliched, but in the context of the entire poem, it’s beautiful.

    I’m not sure it’s possible to separate clothing from in provenance (in this case, Nelly) so I don’t think I’d buy these. Unless I find a pair that fits really, really well . . .

  15. JayKay October 12, 2007 at 2:23 pm #

    Not a fan of Nelly, but I do applaud his efforts in trying to create stylish clothing for the curvier women out there. What I do not applaud is that all of the “intimates” are modeled by thinner, more visually appealing women. What…big girls can’t wear silly metallic ruffle thongs too? ;)

  16. Ottermatic October 12, 2007 at 5:08 pm #

    I don’t understand why Nelly’s efforts to do anything for women are laudable. Seriously, have you seen his videos? This man HATES women. If he’s creating clothes for women, it’s because he wants their money, or wants the satisfaction of seeing women clamor for his product, not because he’s in any way benevolent or thoughtful.

    (I’m a size 16 with a 10 inch waist/hip difference, too, and I suffer badly from the dreaded waistband gap. I’m a leeeeettle too small for Right Fit blues, but Eddie Bauer Shaped jeans fit really well. The waist is a pants size smaller than the hip and they are glorious.)

  17. Mira October 13, 2007 at 7:34 pm #

    ” If he’s creating clothes for women, it’s because he wants their money”

    And all those other companies are out to sell stuff and make a profit because they’re great humanitarians?

  18. ottermatic October 14, 2007 at 6:40 pm #

    Good grief, no. I never said that. If you like the pants, great – buy them and wear them in great health and super fantasticness, as our hostesses say. But don’t give the man any credit for doing women some great, amazing favor.

  19. Nelly Tip Drill October 22, 2007 at 11:05 pm #

    Hi…Thanks for the nice read, keep up the interesting posts..what a nice Monday