The Big Question: Now with More Criminal Insanity
By PlumcakeWhenever I think of, or worse see a pair of split flutter sleeves –those horrible embiggening bias-cut creations that make my arms look like something between a deranged flapper and a holiday ham– I want to murder the person responsible for inventing them, likewise their friends and all their relations and then when all is said, done, and buried I would take great joy in singing a variety of comic songs on their collective freshly turned graves.
That’s healthy, right?
What sartorial staple –the handkerchief hem, puff sleeves, whathaveyou– would YOU like to see die a quick, painful death?
October 17th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
I think puffy sleeves are ok in moderation. I have narrow shoulders so they add a little oomph to balance everything out.
Handkerchief hems are pretty gross, though. That could make a $3,000 top look cheap.
October 17th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
The long, slim-fit, high-necked t-shirt. Actually, any of those qualities is horrible in a t-shirt, but all three is just.. gah.. no words.
October 17th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Bias-cut fabric. It only looks good on coathangers — both the wooden variety and the human variety — and looks absolutely terrible on everyone else. Yet half the skirts and dresses I pick up are invariably made of fabric cut on the bias! Why???
October 17th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I agree completely… the “choke neck” needs to begone. Really, who looks good in that? and yet it seems to be omnipresent in any long-sleeve shirt I would otherwise like to layer when it gets cold.
Also, this one has begun the long, slow process of dying, but I’m ready to be rid of the short top trend. I’m sure this one was really helpful for our more petite BGF’s (Big Girl Friends) but I am tall and the fact that higher hemlines on shirts coincided with lower waists on jeans clearly was invented by someone who had six-packs to spare and months worth of liposuction besides. It seems like for forever I’ve had to buy shirts too big to fit me just to keep them from being so short they showed off parts of my curves I’d rather they didn’t or, if they did make it consistently to the top of my jeans, they always seem to just end up a pack of horizontal lines that chop me up and make me look most decidedly un-superfantastic.
BUT longer shirts are BACK, and not just longer shirts but longer shirts that are not tents or caftans, longer shirts with tailoring and waists and shape! Shirts that elongate instead of making me look like one of those popsicles stuck up on two sticks! Rejoice!
October 17th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Bubble skirts. Um, I have a bubble butt, I don’t need help via the hemline. Thank you.
October 17th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Empire waists.
Low-rise jeans.
Anything that smacks remotely of the 70’s.
and . . .
CROCS
October 17th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Three-quarter sleeves. What is the deal? Do clothing manufacturers and glovemakers get together and plot late into the night? Wait, don’t answer that.
October 17th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Three-quarter sleeves. I hate them. Maybe they look ok on taller, slimmer ladies, but on short people like me they look like I don’t know how to do my laundry and the sleeves of my shirt shrank. I feel like 75% of the clothes I look at these days have those irritating 3/4 sleeves, and I get all excited about them because they look superfantastic and then I realize that they have committed the sin of the sleeves again.
October 17th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
I would like to see cap sleeves die. They emphasize the widest, most unflattering part of the arm.
I am with Francesca on the low-rise pants, and Leah on the short tops. I am 5 feet tall, and most tops are still too short for me!
I actually like 3/4 length sleeves, but I sew so if they’re not petites I can hem them up to the proper below-elbow length. Where I live (Memphis, TN) it doesn’t get very cold for very long, so the 3/4 length sleeve is a good way to look like you’re wearing fall clothing without dying in the 85-degree heat.
October 17th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
No question - the Skinny Jean - go away and go away soon and leave me to my perfect boot cuts.
October 17th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Now I like 3/4 sleeves, because I have short stubby arms, and sleeves on large-size clothes tend to graze my knuckles or cover my hands up completely. The makers of plus sizes need to measure actual humans, not just use a computer program to make everything bigger, so that the sleeves would fit King Kong!
What I hate is the new trend toward “kimono-sleeve” tops, that have no bottom seam and look like the people assembling them left out one or two steps in the assembly process. Ick, you wear that and your arm lumpy-squishies are flapping around for all the world to see!!
October 17th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
i would definitely have to agree that three-quarter length sleeves are reserved for those who can do capris and the long shorts and have limbs with some length to them. however what is wrong with the empire waist??? it hides my little tummy pooch without making me look pregnant (mostly) or lumpy! it’s delightful!
i would love to see the new heeled oxford trend die a sad terrible death. and i’m way against the way magazines keep telling me that i’m supposed to where a beret this season. really? a beret? should i bedazzle it?
October 17th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Trapeze dresses. I’m a pear, and “add extra fabric to my butt area while erasing my waist” is just not on my fashion to-do list. Yes, you can belt them, but I’d rather have a dress that already comes with a waist.
October 17th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
[…] says, the Plumcake has asked the Big Question: What sartorial staple –the handkerchief hem, puff sleeves, whathaveyou– would YOU like to see […]
October 17th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Also, cargo anything. The look isn’t good on anyone, but on short people? Just sad.
October 17th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Francesca loves 3/4 length sleeves, but will not put a gun to anyone’s head to make them wear them.
October 17th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
No contest. Low-rise jeans and trousers. They look good on about 1% of the population, and oh boy am I not in it. Die die die die die die die.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
I love cropped pants, capris and 3/4-length sleeves, simply because that’s what most “average” clothes default to anyway, so I might as well rock it.
However, gauchos must die. Wide-legged, cool-weather pants that end just below the knee? So that special stockings and boots must be purchased to go with them just to avoid frostbite? The fashion industry is having a laugh at our expense, right? They looked silly in the ’70s, and nothing’s changed.
Same principle goes for any jacket that bares the midriff and/or has short sleeves. People who wear these, the joke is on you.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Those pants with the drawstrings running the length of the leg to gather them. Ugh.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Skinny jeans must go away now…they are wrong in every way. Why would I want to look like my legs have been replaced by two baseball bats!?!?!
October 17th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Leave the low-rise pants alone! Those of us with a big chest and next to no torso need the low-rise to avoid the boobs-on-the-waist look that really is just never an attractive look. Even for the 5 foot tall grandmas in Florida.
I second the banishment of all kimono-inspired tops and high heeled oxfords. God forbid they be worn together!
October 17th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
I personally am a fan of the 3/4 sleeve because I push all my sleeves up there anyways. However, the puffy sleeves I have to disagree with. I went into Banana Republic the other day and they had all these lovely soft colored sweaters on sale so I tried one on…
LINEBACKER SHOULDERS!!!
I would have bought two or three sweaters that day, I am guessing, so Banana Republic designers, my wallet thanks you. But still, not good for the self-esteem of a girl with broad shoulders to start with. Hike!
October 17th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
I vote for hideous, baroque, ridiculous platform shoes! I fell off enough pairs of these thirty years ago. Must they invade our collective consciousness so broadly? I thought we’d only have to bear with them for a year. All I want is elegant pumps and more elegant pumps!
October 17th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Handkerchief (or anything other than straight) hemlines have been a bane for a long little while. Super-low rise pants, anything with writing across the butt, Crocs (::spits between fingers::), Uggs (::spits again::), skirts more than four inches above the knee, bustier tops (because so few people know how to do it correctly that we might as well just remove the temptation altogether), night- or underwear as outerwear, sweatsuits anywhere other than the gym, lower back tattoos… how much time do we have here?
October 17th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Oh, and any animated character, including Hello, Kitty (ESPECIALLY Hello, Kitty!!!) anywhere on anything worn by anyone older than thirteen. GAAAAHHHH!!!
October 17th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
FLIP-FLOPS!!!
October 17th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Skninny jeans. No matter how thin you are, they just look like stretch pants. And god forbid if you have any sort of curve to you… Which brings me to the next item to be banished…
Leggings with dresses. Or skinny jeans with dresses. HATE that look!
Uggs paired with a mini can also die a horrible death. Come to think of it, Uggs in general can just go away. And Crocs. Yeah.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
I must have my empire waists!!! As a petite with her waistline in her armpits and no boobs, empire waists are my lifeline! I also love my puffy sleeves and high collars, since I have no shoulders whatsoever and a swan neck. Three-quarter sleeves and cropped pants are both godsends to me because then I can buy normal sizes that are actually cut long enough in the torso and high enough in the rise without having to hem the crap out of every sleeve and pant leg I come into contact with. Sometimes they’re actually practical and not entirely unflattering, too.
B.S.A.G. and I are clearly soul sisters in our mutual detestation of gaucho pants, though. (hates gauchos desperately) I cannot improve upon her case against them.
High-heeled Oxfords manage to look both orthopedic and nosebleed-inducing at the same time, which make me long to torch every pair in existance…particularly the white ones. There’s just no excuse. In that incarnation they look as though they were designed purely for use in pornographic films about nurses.
Giganto platforms are also bad news. If I wanted to take up stilt walking, I’d get some stilts and be done with it. Also, big platforms look clumpy and awkward on everyone I’ve seen attempt them. They are enemies not only of spines and ankles, but of grace, as well.
Pretty much every other look I’ve seen really rocked hard by someone over the years. Those three? I’ve yet to see anyone not look just silly in them. High waists, low waists, handkerchief hems, cap sleeves, Kimono sleeves, gigot sleeves, full skirts, pencil skirts, cat suits, micro-minis, square necklines, dresses cut to the belly button and ones that don’t show flesh until the chin…somebody out there looks great in each and every one of these things. Gauchos, high-heeled white Oxfords, and massive platforms, though, I’ve never seen worn with any trace of superfantasticness.
Those three should hereby be sentenced to fashion death and disgrace.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Super low rise jeans, especially when worn with a too tight, too short top. It makes you look as if your entire outfit had been in the dryer, on high, for a week. Also, Muffin tops look good on no one.
In addition, I would get rid of:
puffy sleeves
wide horizontal stripes (bad in the 80’s, and bad today)
tapered pants, floods, cigarette pants, most capris
evening shorts (If it makes the supermodel look like a majorette, there’s no hope for the rest of us.)
Spaghetti strap tops. They’re bra hostile if you don’t want straps showing.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Word to the suggestions above, especially Natalie’s point about cap sleeves - what possible use have they got, escept to remind me when I last shaved under my arms?
And I’d like to personally eradicate every single smutty T-shirt slogan and the crappy sweatshop shirts they’re printed on. In particular, the brands for 13 year-olds with lines like, “Maths is hard, I’m easy’”. Hand me my pitchfork and flaming torch!
October 17th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
The Deja agrees with Natalie regarding the unloveliness of the cap sleeve for the majority of us with arms thicker than a pool cue. The Deja also personally LOVES 3/4 sleeves, and has stocked up while the stocking is good.
Would love to see the low rise pants meet a hasty demise.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Manpris, of course, and all distressed clothing. I don’t care how bloody much those jeans cost; spend thirty-five bucks and get yourself some new 501’s.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Leah took the words right off my fingertips–those short shirts and low pants, bah! I have a very long waist and trying to keep my tops and bottoms together is hard enough without this nonsense.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
I 2nd the short tops + low-rise jeans trend. Can I get a cute pair of fitted flairs without having my butt hang out please? Also, the trapeze dress + the short bubble hem. Seriously OMG who looks good in that?! NO ONE. I was looking for a photo of a trapeze dress and came across this:
IS this the beginning of the apocolypse? My sources say YES!!!
October 17th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
sorry that link should be here if it’s not showing up:
http://www.thebudgetfashionista.com/images/eluxurytrapezedress-thumb.jpg
October 17th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Smutty clothes for young girls.
Universally low-rise pants and jeans. I know that some women need them, but do ALL pants have to sport them? They look god-awful on most of us.
Cropped shirts.
Obsessive use of “jewel” tones. Fashion dicta aside, they do NOT look good on everyone.
Flip-flops.
The fact that shoes seem to go directly from ballet flats to stilettos, with nothing in-between. What about a half-inch heel if you want something flat?
October 17th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Lowrise pants of any sort need to DIE. I am considered “skinny” and somehow they make be look 20 lbs heavier, as well as being uncomfortable.
It goes without saying: Crocs. And Uggs.
Thong underwear. I need buttfloss like I need another hole in my head.
Square-toed shoes. They’re fading from the scene, but not nearly fast enough. Looking like your feet got guillotined is stupid, not fashionable.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
The Duro and any knocked off from a Duro. I’m so sick of the baby doll look.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
From the pear-shaped, fat-legged perspective, capris and short skirts should be banned, but I understand that some people like them. However, I will out myself as a non-fabulous person by saying that just LOOKING at high heels, platforms and super-pointy-toed shoes makes my feet hurt. Until the shoe industry comes up with shoes that FIT my size 11.5D clodhoppers, I’ll be wearing “ugly” shoes.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Track suits
October 17th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Coach bags with the fabric sides
October 17th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Quilted microfiber jackets
October 17th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
That creepy “slinky” fabric. Touching it gives me the willies, so I don’t touch it. But now even seeing it can give me the willies. *shudder*
October 17th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
1. Crocs. But that goes without saying.
2. Anything with lettering across the butt.
3. Short hooded parkas that don’t even cover all of your ribs.
4. Baggy clothing on men. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIT *YOU*, NOT YOU PLUS A SUMO WRESTLER.
5. The Derelicte House of Fashion, exemplified by the Olsen Twins. COMB YOUR HAIR ALREADY.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Empire waists, die. I’ve had three babies and don’t need any more people asking me when the next one is due. I have a small waist and prefer a garment emphasize that.
Low rise pants must go. Yes, girls, they look cute when you’re standing up. But then you have to sit down. I have seen enough cracks to last me two lifetimes. And we’re not even talking about muffin tops. Yet.
However, I LOVE 3/4 sleeves. Maybe because I’m tall? So weird to see all the hatin’.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Rubber flip-flops as businesswear.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Leggings. Leggings with mini skirts. Leggings with dresses.
And pants worn in knee-high boots - it’s October and everybody here sports this look and I’m going to see this all winter and I’m already heartily sick of it.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
All of you that hate the short shirts: Let’s write a letter to a manufacturer or something! I HATE having my belly exposed, and it’s not a good look on almost anybody. Really, why would I want a stripe of flesh in the middle of me? It’s uncomfortable too.
Besides that, I hate the stupid blouson-y tops that have an empire waist and then billow out. WHEN I have nothing against empire waists on a dress, but on tops, esp over pants, it makes people look narrow-large-narrow again, the opposite of an hour glass. They’re only ok if you’re pregant. Otherwise, a nice structured top or jacket looks good on everybody.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
yikes, I meant to write WHEN will they go away. My computer is possessed.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Bubble shorts. If they look bad on the twigs, why do they make them in all sizes?
Actually, I have stumpy legs, and have yet to find any shorts that don’t look awful. Sigh.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Crocs and Uggs of course, and skinny jeans will never look good on me (though I can appreciate them on people without curves). Formal shorts make no sense and should die a bloody death. Also, I hate fishtail hems. They are always tacky, no exceptions.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
I’m agreeing with Bbubbles. I cant believe the hate everyone has for low rise jeans. I love them! Perhaps, being short, short-waisted and big boobed is the reason I feel this way. But I guess I can understand if you sit down and your pants go down with you ….. On me, even the Gap Ultra Low Waists come to only about 1″ below my belly button. Very comfortable and not very low rise on me.
Needless to say I HATE high waisted pants. EWWWWW. Please don’t ever come back! Another thing I hate in plus size tops is how hard it is to find a nice v-neck or mock wrap top that does not have the V down to my belly button! Do mfgs think that if our boobs are falling out of our shirts no one will notice the fat? I just don’t understand it. The look flatters my body type, but I’m tired of always wearing a cami under my v-necks. I’m in Fla and having to wear extra clothes isn’t much fun in the 90+ degree heat.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Shoulder pads! They are not nearly as prevalent as they once were, fortunately, but too many fat-lady clothes still come with the miserable things. They fold, they bunch, they wad, they wander, and they never, never sit right. I take ‘em out as soon as I get the clothes home — and I’ve had to slit and resew jacket linings to do it — but the mere fact that they continue to exist annoys me!
And, of course, I agree that anything with writing on the butt is cheap, slutty, and unspeakable. There is no appropriate age or body type to wear such things.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
I agree and disagree with errbody!!!!!!!
Its just that some things work for some people and some things do not work for others, which is why the whole “TREND” idea should be buried.
Manufacturers should just make a variety of shirts, pants, and shoes that would work for various body types for all women (and men, of course).
But alas, my words are just a mere statement that will not be heeded by torturous manufacturers.
October 17th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Low-rise pants. It made your mother look bad, it makes you look bad. Heck, it makes Scarlett Johanssen look bad.
Also, thongs cut with insufficient material in the rise. If I wanted to wear a cheese wire between my legs, I’d wear a cheese wire between my legs.
October 17th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Ruching on ANYTHING can just fuck RIGHT off, permanently.
October 17th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
I completely agree with Chicklet, if I have to see one of the Olsen twins looking like she is auditioning for a part in the chorus of Les Miz I am going to become violent.
October 17th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Ballet flats. Hate them, hate them, hate them. They are shoes for little children, and right up there with crocs in my world. Boo hiss on ballet flats.
October 17th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Thongs. (butt floss = evil)
Low rise pants. (muffin tops = fugly)
Thongs + low rise pants. (whale tails = well, there just aren’t words for the level of immense, incredible badness)
Crocs. and Uggs.
Bubble hems.
Anything that says “the 80s” — pretty much comprehensively. (Sorry The Fug Girls, gotta disagree with your odd love of Joan Collins’s Dynasty style.)
October 17th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
I just had to weigh in on the first one. Bias cut clothing is some of the most flattering you will find for women with curves! As a custom seamstress and a voluptuous woman, I would wear bias all the time if I could! It drapes beautifully, is feminine, doesn’t wrinkle as badly as normal woven fabric and is classic when done well. That said, cheaply made or badly designed bias fashions are impossible to wear and should garner your hatred.
My vote: cheap white shirts of ANY style! You look like a ho if your underwear shows through and your character immediately comes into question.
October 17th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Can we PLEASE eliminate the backwards (baseball) cap? Please? Retroactively?
I have to defend the 3/4 sleeve, because I have orangutan arms.
October 17th, 2007 at 7:08 pm
Cropped jackets. A little bolero that makes a dress or tank top convertable from long or short sleeves is fine, but a warmth jacket has no business stopping at the bottom of my rib cage.
Also, low rise jeans that reveal bottom cleavage. I actually like low rise, but not when it feels like stretching would cause it to slither to my knees. The idea is to make the waist seem longer, not prevent natural human motion!
October 17th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Cut-off sweatpants worn as shorts in public.
WTF???
October 17th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
Empire waists make you look preggers unless you have a nice pair of girls for them to fall from. Bubble TOPS are annoying. We had one at my workplace and I just thought it was terrible. It had an empire waist and a bubble at the bottom hem. Why the deuce would they do that???
October 17th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
I’m with Roz! Empire waist is for Maternity wear.
Every top in Lane Bryant is empire this season. I bought 5 pair of their great pants, but could not find a single top that didn’t take me back to the nine month countdown.
Thank God for JC Penney catalog where I can order a decent business-wear blouse and cardigan in sensible colors and washable fabrics.
Also, the crinkled gauzy tops should be forbidden.
October 17th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Hideous, hideous. While the bubble skirt is indeed odious, I have to say that I view flip flops (different from sandals, you know) as detrimental to society. They are a definitely a contributing factor to the “Wal-Mart”-ization of America. In what world is it OK to wear beach shoes to formal occasions like weddings, bat mitzvahs or board meetings?
Please.
October 17th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Whoever mentioned the sleazy slogans on 13-year olds’ chests and/or rears has my vote! Some of the things I’ve seen printed on shirts are enough to make me pass out!
October 17th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Unfortunately for many, I like some of these things, especially low-rise pants (within reason, and without muffin tops), gauchos, ballet flats, and jeans/leggings with dresses.
Hate: Uggs, and even worse, skinny jeans or sweatpants tucked into uggs; velour tracksuits, cropped or 3/4 sleeve outerwear (some of us live in actual temperate climates!), pointy-toe stilettos (die).
October 17th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Gross rubber flip-flops with their wearers shufflling their feet and women wearing sky high heels or platforms who sound like Clydesdales because they do not know how to walk properly in them, ugg!
October 17th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
I can’t stand it when I see a dress with a waistline that is just too short, and unfortunately that seems to be every dress. But it just annoys me to no end when it looks like the designer had aimed for the waist but missed and the bodice ends at the bottom of the ribcage. It looks so bad, like you borrowed it from your kid sister. I’m really very repulsed by the way that current fashion seems to be dedicated to making people look like dirty homeless orphans.
This might just be a personal thing, but I also hate skirts that end just below the waist. I have a small, definite waist so these always ride up on me.
October 17th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Anything that one feels compelled to wear because it’s “in style” whether it flatters one or not. Low rise jeans on one with curves. Empire waists on large breasted women, capris on petits, Shorty jackets that only look good on size 0 thru 2 models, Platforms that are so high they make one mince instead of walk, Fitted waist on women with a stomach, Mini skirts on anyone over 30, Puppies as accessories, Talons instead of fingernails, Fame over substance, Attitude over Intellect…… So much Fodder, So little time!!!!
October 17th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
Full length down coats
October 17th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
(Men) A cashmere coat worn with a baseball cap
October 17th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
(Men)A ski parka worn with a fedora
October 17th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Quilted Vera Bradley bags
October 17th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Art To Wear of any sort!
October 17th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Formal shorts.And leggings.And bubble anything.And platform shoes.And anything mentioned in the Gallery of Horrors.Trapeze dresses.Over-accesorising (your cuff, and the bag, and the hoops and the scarf and the neck brace and the layered chains…)
October 17th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Pet peeve of all pet peeves:
Why do so many clothing manufacturers seem to think that “plus size” women or girls must not want the same cute stuff they sell to the smaller ones ? Why can’t they just make the same things but larger or more fuller cut? Tons of cute stuff in the girls 7-16; get to the Girl Plus section and there are a handful of the most hideous tops to choose from, and one or two things a jr. high girl might not be embarrassed to wear. So much fun shopping for my daughter over the years. My 10 year old son actually asked not long ago…”who do they think actually wears this crap?”. This was in JC Penney, although I must say, at least I could usually find something acceptable to her there, and at least they HAVE Girl Plus sizes!
Definitely have to go with Kooly on the crinkly gauzy tops - no way to make them not look like they were purchased at Puff’s $12 Zoo.
Anything that resembles hooker attire, esp when said garments are intended for girls 4-18 years old. In the same vein, Abercrombie & Fitch should die a slow and painful death. Likewise The Limited Too - a store in which my 5′4, 127 pound daughter is an XXXL. I realize the size label doesn’t really mean anything, but when you’re in Jr. High, it does.
Finally, the sideways baseball cap and the extra-long armhole undershirty things so many of the brethren seem to enjoy assaulting our senses with.
And oh, right on Jennie!!
October 17th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
I am with the AquaMarine: I love my low-rise pants and my short shirts because I have a short torso and these lengthen it for me. And to all you thong haters: you will pry my Hanky Panky low-rise thongs out of my cold, dead, um… fingers. Visible panty lines = bad. Very bad. Thongs = no visible panty lines = good. And the Hanky Panky brand is incredibly comfortable (they also come in a higher rise for all you low-rise haters).
As for what must go: Crocs, of course. Also, high-waisted pants and, even worse, high-waisted shorty-shorts. These look good on NO ONE.
October 17th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
I don’t like looking at other people’s underwear; whether it’s boxers (or worse) on a sagging teen or multiple straps under a spaghetti tank. I know there are ‘pretty straps meant to show’ but it still looks like underwear. I’ll be glad when underwear goes back…under.
October 17th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
I’ll let low-rise pants live if higher-waist boot-cut jeans get some space cleared out for them on the racks. I’m long-torsoed, and low-rise pants just emphasize the fact.
I second the vote for anything with writing across the butt.
October 17th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
I love my skinny jeans. :-) I don’t mind any particular clothing style as long as there are options. A couple of years ago I felt like all I could find were lower-and-lower rise (bootcut, ALWAYS) jeans and shorter-and-shorter tops! I didn’t want my whole middle hanging out! But I’ll keep wearing mini skirts as long as I feel like it. Whatcha gonna do, card me? Basically I love to see people wearing whatever makes them happy, as long as I am not forced to wear it too. If I don’t like how it looks on someone else, I can avert my eyes and anyone is welcome to do he same to me. The frustrating thing is when you have to search high and low for a style that just doesn’t seem to exist anywhere.
October 18th, 2007 at 1:25 am
I’m with all those who brought up handkerchief hems (so trashy) and low-rise jeans (enough butt-crack already!)
I LOVE 3/4 sleeves, though…and yeah, I still do croppped pants (although I don’t pair the two.)
WHat I am sick of most, besides Uggs, Crocs, flip-flops, prosti-tots, and that street urchin thing, is STRAIGHT HAIR WITH BANGS. especially hair that has every drop of life ironed out of it.
I have natural curls, and I’m sensitive about flat-ironed hair being the status bar for glamour. So tire dof it. Curly hair is elegant too, not just “cute” or “neat”.
October 18th, 2007 at 3:35 am
Anything that shows off butt-cracks. High-necked T-shirts. Anything with writing or logos (yes, Chanel and Vuitton, too. In fact, especially Chanel and Vuitton. They get on my nerves).
Anything meant for grown women with teddy bears, balloons and such on it (yes, I’m talking to the designers of maternity wear and pyjamas. Do we morph into kiddies the moment we’re pregnant or ready for a bit of shut-eye?).
Crocs and platform shoes. Thongs.
Yes, definitely flutter sleeves.
Anything “fashionable” which prevents you from slinging your bag over your shoulder or getting onto the bus because you can’t lift your arms. Capes. Winter jackets without buttons or another means of closure (I mean, REALLY, what’s the use of a warm coat when the first tiny little gust of icy winter wind spreads it wide open and chills you down to your last lung molecule?).
None of these look good on anybody or have any practical use. Could we burn them at stake and dance around the fire, please? That would be most satisfying!
On the side I’d have a tiny little private fire for cropped tops, puff sleeves, anything beige and the guy who decided leotards weren’t adequate dancing/sports gear anymore. Just my personal little peeves.
On the other hand, you may send me your 3/4 length sleeves or leggings. I’ll give the rejects a home and cuddle and love them! Unless, of course, they sport logos, high necks, beigeness or such. Have to draw the line somewhere!
October 18th, 2007 at 4:05 am
trapeze dresses are horrible, If you don’t have a bouffant going on you shouldn’t wear one, and even then, skinny fat, short tall they are always wrong
October 18th, 2007 at 4:06 am
oh and crocs and uggs but those go without saying
October 18th, 2007 at 9:12 am
I find lowrise jeans to be tasteful and look great when they fit well. There’s no way I’m wearing pants up to or above my belly button. I wouldn’t be caught DEAD in the dreaded highrise “mom” jeans.
Crocs are ridiculous and make any outfit look bad. Oh and I agree about that slinky, weird, cheap fabric. It’s just gross!
October 18th, 2007 at 10:31 am
Crocs are disgusting, same with shorts/pants with words like “hot” and “sexy” across the ass. Skinny jeans, leggings and formal shorts need to die, gaucho’s as well. I love my boot cuts and I have a long torso so, low to mid rise work fine, my Baby Phat’s sit right under my belly button and I love the extra control on my tummy. Any style that’s bubble is a big NO! Oh, and to all the men out there, woman like to look at a nice ass too, so buy jeans that fit!
October 18th, 2007 at 10:39 am
As a petite chick, I don’t understand the hate for low-rise jeans or 3/4 sleeves; they are both absolute godsends for me. I’m assuming that all of the vituperation is directed at people who are miswearing these items and, in that case, wouldn’t it be easier to just direct all of the disparaging remarks squarely at people who ruining good clothes by sausaging themselves into jeans that don’t fit and unattractively displaying their ass-ets to the world? Just wondering… :)
October 18th, 2007 at 11:08 am
Leggings (except on little girls), low-rises (just at the navel is flattering, lower isn’t unless you’re 16 and weight 2 lb.), crop tops (I think they’ve gone out anyway, thank God), anything tight in contrast to perfectly fitting (skirts, jeans, tops), baseball caps anywhere except hiking or watching sports (when you need the shade), Crocs & Uggs (goes without saying), black tights with shoes of any color besides black (this fall’s ghastly fad: black tights and red shoes–eek!), athletic shoes when not doing athletics, boots with mini-sundresses, thong underpants (how uncomfortable can you get?), T-shirts that say things or have pictures on them, pants with stuff like “I’m hot” written across the behind…oh, and track suits, especially shiny and/or velour track suits, and that manicure job that paints a bright white stripe across the tops of your fingernails and toenails. Why is that considered pretty? (Don’t get me started on ghastly manicures.) Visible tattoos, pierced anything except ears, “Live Strong” plastic bracelets that make you look as though you just escaped from the surgery ward, and those stupid-looking “sandal sneakers” that are fine, I guess, for collecting marine specimens from a tide pool, but on city streets–c’mon!
October 18th, 2007 at 11:17 am
HA HA I’m so damn short, (reasonably) low-rise pants are regular rise on me. I get all my jeans from LL Bean because thy fit my fat gut, no butt body (Classic Fit). I came of age in an era with jeans so tight at the ankles, they had zippers there.
I guess I do lke boot-cut pants up to a point, but only when I wear my Danskos, which are the closest I ever get to heels.
Someone please to be outlawing those extremely pointy shoes? Such silly things.
And on the mens: the mixing-bowl size ballcaps and manpris???? NOW!!!!!! I mean, culottes on men?
That being said, I have a really cute pair of flared capri pants that looks super saucy with my Doc Martens.
And I have a handkerchief hem dress that looks sassy on me, but it’s the only such garment that ever has.
Flutter sleeves, yup. I look like a jumped-up washerwoman in those. I feel like I should be wearing big brogans with thick sox to accentuate the Yorkshire coal miner’s mother look.
October 18th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Tie-dye. It doesn’t show up that often, but when it does it’s SO HEINOUS. Designers keep thinking they can sneak it into their collections, but they are wrong.
October 18th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Ho. Ri. Zontal. Stripes.
Please, goddess, make it so.
October 18th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
The puff sleeve- we are not 10 years old, we are not baby jane, and no body, except the pipe-cleaner size arms of anorexic models, looks good in them. A curse on any designer who makes them, a curse I say!
October 18th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I so agree with K. There are few things I inherently dislike..it’s mostly in how they are worn.
October 18th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Shirred v-neck shirts. I don’t care how much someone pays for a shirred v-neck shirt - it still looks like something off a K-Mart mannequin. NOBODY looks good in one. Not even the mannequin.
October 18th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
You can have my shirred/ruched V necks when you pry them out of my cold dead hands. I’m a short-torsoed, big-breasted pear and they are a godsend.
Must die: Blousoned tops that pouf round the waist and gather at the bottom. F-CK YOU, BLOUSONED TOPS.
October 18th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Ack, sorry, a little posting delay there and I thought I was being censored by software or something. The blousoned tops deserve the double helping of vituperation though.
October 18th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
I’m going to have to second the hate for the Uggs. I’m sorry, ladies, I know they’re toasty and warm, but I spent a lot of money on a pair only to find that they had no support and the sole was made out of this crumbly stuff. Plus, some girls wear their Uggs to near-destruction, and the sole sort of shifts over to one side or another so the girl is almost kinda sorta walking on the suede part, and it just looks sloppy and flat-tire-y.
I hate how sheer everything seems to be nowadays. I wear conventional misses’ sizes and I’m not a particularly big girl, but all tanks and tees and long-sleeved knit tops all seem to be made of thinner fabric than they used to be. A few years ago, I had some really great cotton/lycra mix tees and tops that had some substance to them–they draped perfectly and hid any figure imperfections.
Now it seems like everything is for “layering”, so even a lady with a minimum of lumpy-squishies gets all her lumpy-squishies set off in stunning detail with this weird filmy cheesy fabric. What gives?
October 18th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
1) “Contemporary fit” shirts, sweaters, etc. These tops are smaller than most in the tweens and juniors sections. Are women with boobs supposed to shop in the stripper stores?
2) Semi-sheer jersey, especially with bright stripes. It brings me back to childhood, shopping at Maurice’s in a strip mall in Kansas.
3) “Classic” as a euphemism for “dowdy.” An acrylic twinset in camel is classic frump, not classic chic.
4) Skin tight, boot cut, low rise polyester pants worn to work. Young women don’t usually have huge budgets or lots of stylish choices that are also work appropriate, but don’t throw in the towel!
5) The idea that logos or labels have anything to do with how good you look.
October 18th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
OMG, I laughed my butt off reading some of these comments! There were a couple of times that was mentioned “It’s not the style of clothes that are bad, it’s just that the wrong style of body is wearing them.” I agree. For me (and others shaped like me): No handkerchief hems, leggings (my tights, however, I will defend), low rise jeans, skinny jeans (I adore my boot cuts), anything written across my ass (it’s large enough, don’t need anything drawing MORE attention to it!), empire waists (since I have a belly, this trend had complete strangers coming up and rubbing my belly and asking when I was due — “I’m not, you moron, I’m just FAT!”, and I have a set of very nice ta-tas), and bubble hemmed ANYTHING! Tachina, I practially fell out of my chair at the “are women with boobs supposed to shop in the stripper stores” comment — although I might have the boobs of the stripper, I do not have the midriff of a stripper!
October 18th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
I need to see an end to excessive embroidery on dresses. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a decent-looking sheath or shift dress, and it’s embroidered up. Not a good professional look.
While we’re at it, do pants in a variety of lengths. Too many mass-market plus chains are loaded with capris or more accurately, crops ((side-eyes Avenue and Lane Bryant)). When I think of capris, I think of tailored, flattering pants, not things that just, err, hang there.
October 18th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
I’m tired of animal prints (especially leopard), metallic shoes and purses for daytime, bare legs that would look a lot better in good quality sheer hosiery, French manicured toenails, navy, black and burgundy nail polish (nicely manicured bare nails preferable), low-cut knit tops in cold weather, eyebrow piercings, sweaty feet in closed shoes, and throw away clothes in general.
October 18th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
I love Crocs! However, I wave my ‘disability’ pass at you all and say that I can get them on and they don’t make me fall down, so they can stay for the few of us who need them. They’re sure as hell not pretty or stylish, but neither am I. I’m happy to require people to get a Crocs license before wearing them. And for heaven’s sake, people, stop using them as an excuse not to teach your child to tie his shoes.
No puffed sleeves, no ‘mom jeans’, no acid-wash, no tie-dye, no sugar sack pants, nothing from the 80s, please, no leggings instead of pants (I hate that), no socks with heels, no high-necked t-shirts, no short hoodies, no unitards, no ballet flats (I really find these universally unattractive), and no bubble skirts, please.
October 19th, 2007 at 12:45 am
I agree with most of the posts, especially about the very skinny, extra low-rise jeans. I work in a high school and if the neophytes can’t pull off the look, then it is time for the rest of the world to graciously admit defeat.
I was just at the stores today and much to my horror, there were loads of legwarmers in a wide variety of colors and ribs. I guess they had to do something to make the skinny jean look more proportioned to the rest of the body.
I will defend 3/4 sleeve tops, as I like to wear bracelets and these tops show off my superfantastc jewelry.
October 19th, 2007 at 6:38 am
I am laughing at all of these postings- How funny that there is a huge debate about 3/4 length sleeves and low rise pants. Basically I hate the look of anything that doesn’t rock the wearer. If yout breasts dont fit above the empire waist cut- don’t wear the top or dress, if you can’t breathe in an outfit, don’t wear it, if you need to write across your bum or chest that you are Sexy or Hot, then you probably aren’t. Clothes need to fit you, your style, your personality and the environment you are in, and unless you are working a pole I don’t want to see you underwear in public.
Ohh– and please manufacturers, please stop trying to dress outr teenage girls like slutty little whores- Please- Please Please.
October 19th, 2007 at 9:58 am
Formal. Shorts.
FORMAL SHORTS!! What on earth?? It’s been THREE YEARS of the formal short! Leave us in peace, formal short-driving designers and corporations and skinny girls with no sense wearing FORMAL SHORTS aggghhh. hate.
October 19th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Anything that was designed with a toddler in mind, but intented to be sold to a grown-up woman (baby-doll dresses, ruching, washed-out pastels…). Ballet flats: they’re everywhere, they don’t offer proper arch support, and they look bad on everyone who is not tall and very thin (stumps for legs…). Also, where is the 2inch heel height gone? Oh, and dresses/skirts that are too short. I’m tall, so on me, they’re barely decent. Please bring the hemline down to under or just above the knee! It looks better on everyone!
I am a size 0, in my 20s, and I find it pretty offensive to hear things like ‘clothes for the real woman’. Am I made of plastic? I’m sure many so-called ’stick-thin’ (yeah, that too is offensive) friends will agree. I, too, am curvy. I’ve got an hourglass-shaped, with a very defined waist, hips and bust.
October 19th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
I agree with Miss Louisa’s love of the 3/4 sleeve- I too love to wear the superfantastic bracelets and bangles. I’m also a fan of the low-rise pants, but ONLY if they fit, and do not create the unsightly muffin top, or show “butt cleavage.” Who came up with that term?!? What I do hate is the skinny jeans- it’s almost impossible to find nice bootcut jeans at the moment. Most of the trends people have mentioned work on some people, but not on others, so I have to say, I wish people took their shape into account when dressing!! Oh and yes, another vote for outlawing crocs (although I do like uggs- but they are SLIPPERS to be worn with pajamas, not in public!) And no, it’s not cool to dress your 12 year old like they belong in playboy magazine!
October 20th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
I haven’t been able to find jeans in my size (14-16) without stretch since about 2004, and I HATE STRETCH JEANS. HAAAAAAATE.
1% spandex is the kiss of death for pants. Seriously. If stretch jeans fit when I try them on in the store, they will be like elephant skin after I wear them for more than an hour or so. Because they change shape so much after wearing, I have to wash them every time I wear them. Who has that kind of time?
For awhile, I could still find pants with a jeans cut (like khakis and cords) without stretch, but now they’ve all got the taint of spandex too. Stop the madness already!
October 21st, 2007 at 10:01 pm
I forgot to sequins for daytime and nose piercings.
October 22nd, 2007 at 2:05 am
Empire waists. No matter how good you think you look in them, you don’t. You look pregnant.
October 22nd, 2007 at 2:28 pm
I’m going to agree with Rebecca on the bias-cut–it can be wonderful, if it’s *truly* bias-cut. The problem is that most ready-to-wear isn’t truly on the bias, it’s just not quite on the straight of the grain. That gives you the worst qualities of both–the garment hangs crookedly but doesn’t drape like a true bias-cut garment does.
And I’ll defend the 3/4 sleeve as well; like several of the other commenters, I often wind up pushing sweater sleeves up or rolling my shirt sleeves up to about 2 inches below my elbow. But again, to me, the problem isn’t with the design, it’s with the execution; most tops sold as 3/4 sleeves aren’t — they’re elbow length, and that’s a whole different breed of cat: one that needs to be humanely put to sleep.
So my peeve: the fashion mavens who keep insisting that drop waists or empire tops universally look good on Big Girls. Some do, some don’t. Actually, my peeve is the fashion mavens who insist that any trend of the month will “look good on everybody.”