The Big Question: Now with More Criminal Insanity
Whenever I think of, or worse see a pair of split flutter sleeves –those horrible embiggening bias-cut creations that make my arms look like something between a deranged flapper and a holiday ham– I want to murder the person responsible for inventing them, likewise their friends and all their relations and then when all is said, done, and buried I would take great joy in singing a variety of comic songs on their collective freshly turned graves.
That’s healthy, right?
What sartorial staple –the handkerchief hem, puff sleeves, whathaveyou– would YOU like to see die a quick, painful death?
I’m agreeing with Bbubbles. I cant believe the hate everyone has for low rise jeans. I love them! Perhaps, being short, short-waisted and big boobed is the reason I feel this way. But I guess I can understand if you sit down and your pants go down with you ….. On me, even the Gap Ultra Low Waists come to only about 1″ below my belly button. Very comfortable and not very low rise on me.
Needless to say I HATE high waisted pants. EWWWWW. Please don’t ever come back! Another thing I hate in plus size tops is how hard it is to find a nice v-neck or mock wrap top that does not have the V down to my belly button! Do mfgs think that if our boobs are falling out of our shirts no one will notice the fat? I just don’t understand it. The look flatters my body type, but I’m tired of always wearing a cami under my v-necks. I’m in Fla and having to wear extra clothes isn’t much fun in the 90+ degree heat.
Shoulder pads! They are not nearly as prevalent as they once were, fortunately, but too many fat-lady clothes still come with the miserable things. They fold, they bunch, they wad, they wander, and they never, never sit right. I take ‘em out as soon as I get the clothes home — and I’ve had to slit and resew jacket linings to do it — but the mere fact that they continue to exist annoys me!
And, of course, I agree that anything with writing on the butt is cheap, slutty, and unspeakable. There is no appropriate age or body type to wear such things.
I agree and disagree with errbody!!!!!!!
Its just that some things work for some people and some things do not work for others, which is why the whole “TREND” idea should be buried.
Manufacturers should just make a variety of shirts, pants, and shoes that would work for various body types for all women (and men, of course).
But alas, my words are just a mere statement that will not be heeded by torturous manufacturers.
Low-rise pants. It made your mother look bad, it makes you look bad. Heck, it makes Scarlett Johanssen look bad.
Also, thongs cut with insufficient material in the rise. If I wanted to wear a cheese wire between my legs, I’d wear a cheese wire between my legs.
Ruching on ANYTHING can just fuck RIGHT off, permanently.
I completely agree with Chicklet, if I have to see one of the Olsen twins looking like she is auditioning for a part in the chorus of Les Miz I am going to become violent.
Ballet flats. Hate them, hate them, hate them. They are shoes for little children, and right up there with crocs in my world. Boo hiss on ballet flats.
Thongs. (butt floss = evil)
Low rise pants. (muffin tops = fugly)
Thongs + low rise pants. (whale tails = well, there just aren’t words for the level of immense, incredible badness)
Crocs. and Uggs.
Bubble hems.
Anything that says “the 80s” — pretty much comprehensively. (Sorry The Fug Girls, gotta disagree with your odd love of Joan Collins’s Dynasty style.)
I just had to weigh in on the first one. Bias cut clothing is some of the most flattering you will find for women with curves! As a custom seamstress and a voluptuous woman, I would wear bias all the time if I could! It drapes beautifully, is feminine, doesn’t wrinkle as badly as normal woven fabric and is classic when done well. That said, cheaply made or badly designed bias fashions are impossible to wear and should garner your hatred.
My vote: cheap white shirts of ANY style! You look like a ho if your underwear shows through and your character immediately comes into question.
Can we PLEASE eliminate the backwards (baseball) cap? Please? Retroactively?
I have to defend the 3/4 sleeve, because I have orangutan arms.
Cropped jackets. A little bolero that makes a dress or tank top convertable from long or short sleeves is fine, but a warmth jacket has no business stopping at the bottom of my rib cage.
Also, low rise jeans that reveal bottom cleavage. I actually like low rise, but not when it feels like stretching would cause it to slither to my knees. The idea is to make the waist seem longer, not prevent natural human motion!
Cut-off sweatpants worn as shorts in public.
WTF???
Empire waists make you look preggers unless you have a nice pair of girls for them to fall from. Bubble TOPS are annoying. We had one at my workplace and I just thought it was terrible. It had an empire waist and a bubble at the bottom hem. Why the deuce would they do that???
I’m with Roz! Empire waist is for Maternity wear.
Every top in Lane Bryant is empire this season. I bought 5 pair of their great pants, but could not find a single top that didn’t take me back to the nine month countdown.
Thank God for JC Penney catalog where I can order a decent business-wear blouse and cardigan in sensible colors and washable fabrics.
Also, the crinkled gauzy tops should be forbidden.
Hideous, hideous. While the bubble skirt is indeed odious, I have to say that I view flip flops (different from sandals, you know) as detrimental to society. They are a definitely a contributing factor to the “Wal-Mart”-ization of America. In what world is it OK to wear beach shoes to formal occasions like weddings, bat mitzvahs or board meetings?
Please.
Whoever mentioned the sleazy slogans on 13-year olds’ chests and/or rears has my vote! Some of the things I’ve seen printed on shirts are enough to make me pass out!
Unfortunately for many, I like some of these things, especially low-rise pants (within reason, and without muffin tops), gauchos, ballet flats, and jeans/leggings with dresses.
Hate: Uggs, and even worse, skinny jeans or sweatpants tucked into uggs; velour tracksuits, cropped or 3/4 sleeve outerwear (some of us live in actual temperate climates!), pointy-toe stilettos (die).
Gross rubber flip-flops with their wearers shufflling their feet and women wearing sky high heels or platforms who sound like Clydesdales because they do not know how to walk properly in them, ugg!
I can’t stand it when I see a dress with a waistline that is just too short, and unfortunately that seems to be every dress. But it just annoys me to no end when it looks like the designer had aimed for the waist but missed and the bodice ends at the bottom of the ribcage. It looks so bad, like you borrowed it from your kid sister. I’m really very repulsed by the way that current fashion seems to be dedicated to making people look like dirty homeless orphans.
This might just be a personal thing, but I also hate skirts that end just below the waist. I have a small, definite waist so these always ride up on me.
Anything that one feels compelled to wear because it’s “in style” whether it flatters one or not. Low rise jeans on one with curves. Empire waists on large breasted women, capris on petits, Shorty jackets that only look good on size 0 thru 2 models, Platforms that are so high they make one mince instead of walk, Fitted waist on women with a stomach, Mini skirts on anyone over 30, Puppies as accessories, Talons instead of fingernails, Fame over substance, Attitude over Intellect…… So much Fodder, So little time!!!!
Full length down coats
(Men) A cashmere coat worn with a baseball cap
(Men)A ski parka worn with a fedora
Quilted Vera Bradley bags
Art To Wear of any sort!
Formal shorts.And leggings.And bubble anything.And platform shoes.And anything mentioned in the Gallery of Horrors.Trapeze dresses.Over-accesorising (your cuff, and the bag, and the hoops and the scarf and the neck brace and the layered chains…)
Pet peeve of all pet peeves:
Why do so many clothing manufacturers seem to think that “plus size” women or girls must not want the same cute stuff they sell to the smaller ones ? Why can’t they just make the same things but larger or more fuller cut? Tons of cute stuff in the girls 7-16; get to the Girl Plus section and there are a handful of the most hideous tops to choose from, and one or two things a jr. high girl might not be embarrassed to wear. So much fun shopping for my daughter over the years. My 10 year old son actually asked not long ago…”who do they think actually wears this crap?”. This was in JC Penney, although I must say, at least I could usually find something acceptable to her there, and at least they HAVE Girl Plus sizes!
Definitely have to go with Kooly on the crinkly gauzy tops – no way to make them not look like they were purchased at Puff’s $12 Zoo.
Anything that resembles hooker attire, esp when said garments are intended for girls 4-18 years old. In the same vein, Abercrombie & Fitch should die a slow and painful death. Likewise The Limited Too – a store in which my 5’4, 127 pound daughter is an XXXL. I realize the size label doesn’t really mean anything, but when you’re in Jr. High, it does.
Finally, the sideways baseball cap and the extra-long armhole undershirty things so many of the brethren seem to enjoy assaulting our senses with.
And oh, right on Jennie!!
I am with the AquaMarine: I love my low-rise pants and my short shirts because I have a short torso and these lengthen it for me. And to all you thong haters: you will pry my Hanky Panky low-rise thongs out of my cold, dead, um… fingers. Visible panty lines = bad. Very bad. Thongs = no visible panty lines = good. And the Hanky Panky brand is incredibly comfortable (they also come in a higher rise for all you low-rise haters).
As for what must go: Crocs, of course. Also, high-waisted pants and, even worse, high-waisted shorty-shorts. These look good on NO ONE.
I don’t like looking at other people’s underwear; whether it’s boxers (or worse) on a sagging teen or multiple straps under a spaghetti tank. I know there are ‘pretty straps meant to show’ but it still looks like underwear. I’ll be glad when underwear goes back…under.
I’ll let low-rise pants live if higher-waist boot-cut jeans get some space cleared out for them on the racks. I’m long-torsoed, and low-rise pants just emphasize the fact.
I second the vote for anything with writing across the butt.
I love my skinny jeans. :-) I don’t mind any particular clothing style as long as there are options. A couple of years ago I felt like all I could find were lower-and-lower rise (bootcut, ALWAYS) jeans and shorter-and-shorter tops! I didn’t want my whole middle hanging out! But I’ll keep wearing mini skirts as long as I feel like it. Whatcha gonna do, card me? Basically I love to see people wearing whatever makes them happy, as long as I am not forced to wear it too. If I don’t like how it looks on someone else, I can avert my eyes and anyone is welcome to do he same to me. The frustrating thing is when you have to search high and low for a style that just doesn’t seem to exist anywhere.
I’m with all those who brought up handkerchief hems (so trashy) and low-rise jeans (enough butt-crack already!)
I LOVE 3/4 sleeves, though…and yeah, I still do croppped pants (although I don’t pair the two.)
WHat I am sick of most, besides Uggs, Crocs, flip-flops, prosti-tots, and that street urchin thing, is STRAIGHT HAIR WITH BANGS. especially hair that has every drop of life ironed out of it.
I have natural curls, and I’m sensitive about flat-ironed hair being the status bar for glamour. So tire dof it. Curly hair is elegant too, not just “cute” or “neat”.
Anything that shows off butt-cracks. High-necked T-shirts. Anything with writing or logos (yes, Chanel and Vuitton, too. In fact, especially Chanel and Vuitton. They get on my nerves).
Anything meant for grown women with teddy bears, balloons and such on it (yes, I’m talking to the designers of maternity wear and pyjamas. Do we morph into kiddies the moment we’re pregnant or ready for a bit of shut-eye?).
Crocs and platform shoes. Thongs.
Yes, definitely flutter sleeves.
Anything “fashionable” which prevents you from slinging your bag over your shoulder or getting onto the bus because you can’t lift your arms. Capes. Winter jackets without buttons or another means of closure (I mean, REALLY, what’s the use of a warm coat when the first tiny little gust of icy winter wind spreads it wide open and chills you down to your last lung molecule?).
None of these look good on anybody or have any practical use. Could we burn them at stake and dance around the fire, please? That would be most satisfying!
On the side I’d have a tiny little private fire for cropped tops, puff sleeves, anything beige and the guy who decided leotards weren’t adequate dancing/sports gear anymore. Just my personal little peeves.
On the other hand, you may send me your 3/4 length sleeves or leggings. I’ll give the rejects a home and cuddle and love them! Unless, of course, they sport logos, high necks, beigeness or such. Have to draw the line somewhere!
trapeze dresses are horrible, If you don’t have a bouffant going on you shouldn’t wear one, and even then, skinny fat, short tall they are always wrong
oh and crocs and uggs but those go without saying
I find lowrise jeans to be tasteful and look great when they fit well. There’s no way I’m wearing pants up to or above my belly button. I wouldn’t be caught DEAD in the dreaded highrise “mom” jeans.
Crocs are ridiculous and make any outfit look bad. Oh and I agree about that slinky, weird, cheap fabric. It’s just gross!
Crocs are disgusting, same with shorts/pants with words like “hot” and “sexy” across the ass. Skinny jeans, leggings and formal shorts need to die, gaucho’s as well. I love my boot cuts and I have a long torso so, low to mid rise work fine, my Baby Phat’s sit right under my belly button and I love the extra control on my tummy. Any style that’s bubble is a big NO! Oh, and to all the men out there, woman like to look at a nice ass too, so buy jeans that fit!
As a petite chick, I don’t understand the hate for low-rise jeans or 3/4 sleeves; they are both absolute godsends for me. I’m assuming that all of the vituperation is directed at people who are miswearing these items and, in that case, wouldn’t it be easier to just direct all of the disparaging remarks squarely at people who ruining good clothes by sausaging themselves into jeans that don’t fit and unattractively displaying their ass-ets to the world? Just wondering… :)
Leggings (except on little girls), low-rises (just at the navel is flattering, lower isn’t unless you’re 16 and weight 2 lb.), crop tops (I think they’ve gone out anyway, thank God), anything tight in contrast to perfectly fitting (skirts, jeans, tops), baseball caps anywhere except hiking or watching sports (when you need the shade), Crocs & Uggs (goes without saying), black tights with shoes of any color besides black (this fall’s ghastly fad: black tights and red shoes–eek!), athletic shoes when not doing athletics, boots with mini-sundresses, thong underpants (how uncomfortable can you get?), T-shirts that say things or have pictures on them, pants with stuff like “I’m hot” written across the behind…oh, and track suits, especially shiny and/or velour track suits, and that manicure job that paints a bright white stripe across the tops of your fingernails and toenails. Why is that considered pretty? (Don’t get me started on ghastly manicures.) Visible tattoos, pierced anything except ears, “Live Strong” plastic bracelets that make you look as though you just escaped from the surgery ward, and those stupid-looking “sandal sneakers” that are fine, I guess, for collecting marine specimens from a tide pool, but on city streets–c’mon!
HA HA I’m so damn short, (reasonably) low-rise pants are regular rise on me. I get all my jeans from LL Bean because thy fit my fat gut, no butt body (Classic Fit). I came of age in an era with jeans so tight at the ankles, they had zippers there.
I guess I do lke boot-cut pants up to a point, but only when I wear my Danskos, which are the closest I ever get to heels.
Someone please to be outlawing those extremely pointy shoes? Such silly things.
And on the mens: the mixing-bowl size ballcaps and manpris???? NOW!!!!!! I mean, culottes on men?
That being said, I have a really cute pair of flared capri pants that looks super saucy with my Doc Martens.
And I have a handkerchief hem dress that looks sassy on me, but it’s the only such garment that ever has.
Flutter sleeves, yup. I look like a jumped-up washerwoman in those. I feel like I should be wearing big brogans with thick sox to accentuate the Yorkshire coal miner’s mother look.
Tie-dye. It doesn’t show up that often, but when it does it’s SO HEINOUS. Designers keep thinking they can sneak it into their collections, but they are wrong.
Ho. Ri. Zontal. Stripes.
Please, goddess, make it so.
The puff sleeve- we are not 10 years old, we are not baby jane, and no body, except the pipe-cleaner size arms of anorexic models, looks good in them. A curse on any designer who makes them, a curse I say!
I so agree with K. There are few things I inherently dislike..it’s mostly in how they are worn.
Shirred v-neck shirts. I don’t care how much someone pays for a shirred v-neck shirt – it still looks like something off a K-Mart mannequin. NOBODY looks good in one. Not even the mannequin.
You can have my shirred/ruched V necks when you pry them out of my cold dead hands. I’m a short-torsoed, big-breasted pear and they are a godsend.
Must die: Blousoned tops that pouf round the waist and gather at the bottom. F-CK YOU, BLOUSONED TOPS.
Ack, sorry, a little posting delay there and I thought I was being censored by software or something. The blousoned tops deserve the double helping of vituperation though.
I’m going to have to second the hate for the Uggs. I’m sorry, ladies, I know they’re toasty and warm, but I spent a lot of money on a pair only to find that they had no support and the sole was made out of this crumbly stuff. Plus, some girls wear their Uggs to near-destruction, and the sole sort of shifts over to one side or another so the girl is almost kinda sorta walking on the suede part, and it just looks sloppy and flat-tire-y.
I hate how sheer everything seems to be nowadays. I wear conventional misses’ sizes and I’m not a particularly big girl, but all tanks and tees and long-sleeved knit tops all seem to be made of thinner fabric than they used to be. A few years ago, I had some really great cotton/lycra mix tees and tops that had some substance to them–they draped perfectly and hid any figure imperfections.
Now it seems like everything is for “layering”, so even a lady with a minimum of lumpy-squishies gets all her lumpy-squishies set off in stunning detail with this weird filmy cheesy fabric. What gives?
1) “Contemporary fit” shirts, sweaters, etc. These tops are smaller than most in the tweens and juniors sections. Are women with boobs supposed to shop in the stripper stores?
2) Semi-sheer jersey, especially with bright stripes. It brings me back to childhood, shopping at Maurice’s in a strip mall in Kansas.
3) “Classic” as a euphemism for “dowdy.” An acrylic twinset in camel is classic frump, not classic chic.
4) Skin tight, boot cut, low rise polyester pants worn to work. Young women don’t usually have huge budgets or lots of stylish choices that are also work appropriate, but don’t throw in the towel!
5) The idea that logos or labels have anything to do with how good you look.
OMG, I laughed my butt off reading some of these comments! There were a couple of times that was mentioned “It’s not the style of clothes that are bad, it’s just that the wrong style of body is wearing them.” I agree. For me (and others shaped like me): No handkerchief hems, leggings (my tights, however, I will defend), low rise jeans, skinny jeans (I adore my boot cuts), anything written across my ass (it’s large enough, don’t need anything drawing MORE attention to it!), empire waists (since I have a belly, this trend had complete strangers coming up and rubbing my belly and asking when I was due — “I’m not, you moron, I’m just FAT!”, and I have a set of very nice ta-tas), and bubble hemmed ANYTHING! Tachina, I practially fell out of my chair at the “are women with boobs supposed to shop in the stripper stores” comment — although I might have the boobs of the stripper, I do not have the midriff of a stripper!