Comments on: Finish Already

By: La BellaDonna

La BellaDonna — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 22:05:43 +0000

When I was seventeen years old, I had my age guessed as “thirty-seven.” The year before, I had auditioned for “Hair,” but was told I looked “too old.” This has basically been Nature’s gift to me, and I accepted it. Okay, “accepted” while cursing and swearing, maybe, but “accepted” nonetheless. Apparently being groomed does that. When I was seventeen, I looked as if I was in my thirties; when I was in my thirties, I looked as if I was in my thirties; and now, at fifty … I look as if I’m in my thirties. It’s less that I looked “old;” but it was a more polished look, certainly, than a lot of seventeen-year-olds were wearing. Think 1947/48 cover-of-Vogue-patterns. If there’s an emergency trip to the vet, of course I will go “as is” – and that includes in my pajamas, if necessary. But I’ve always preferred looking my best, and I’ve always done it for myself. And “best” doesn’t mean “overdressed;” I try to dress for the occasion. But there aren’t that many occasions where it would be a terrible thing if I had my lipstick on and my hair done. Of course, I’m still waiting to figure out a “hair style;” until then, I wear it back in a French braid. It’s more about neatness, appropriateness and polish, than it is about dressing over-the-top.

By: ladyT

ladyT — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 02:14:56 +0000

and all before i thought this was just in my head…i do my best not to look over the top pretty….over the top glamourous….and honestly if i’m giving a bit of effort thats hard to do. a touch of blush and wow! i look red carpet ready. smoky eyes and i get stares a tthe office all day. i downplay my features a lot during the day….its unfair….screw the office! tomorrow it’s full on glam!

By: Deandrea

Deandrea — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:48:22 +0000

Shiloh…that’s how I feel others perceive fat women…It’s like smaller girls can wear whatever they want—baggy clothes, unkempt hair—and still be considered attractive. Fat women sometimes have to put a little more effort into their appearance.

By: OCCaliAKA

OCCaliAKA — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 21:44:32 +0000

Another vote for looking finished. Sometimes, I don’t get around to the makeup, but generally I like a pulled-together look. As both a woman of size and a woman of color, I can’t really afford to look like a frump or a slob. I am not one to feed into negative stereotypes.

By: Style Spy

Style Spy — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:28:25 +0000

::applauds wildly::

By: TeleriB

TeleriB — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:44:11 +0000

When I wear makeup, heels, and a skirt to work, I get mistaken for the secretary a lot more often. If the old saw about “dressing for the job you want, not the job you have” is true, I figure I should avoid that. But I do try to dress more professionally (real shoes, slacks, collared shirts or nice sweaters) like the older engineers, and less like my same-age cohorts in jeans, sneakers and henleys.

By: shiloh

shiloh — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 05:15:23 +0000

I love looking finished and work at it, even at home. But I do veer towards being too matchy-matchy. Shoes, bags, costume jewelery to match. My hair is always in place and I have lip gloss and mascara on even when I walk my dog. It’s on autopilot every morning. I’m compensating for being fat by working the together look because so many people assume a fat women is going to be sloppy and jolly – I’m neither.

By: KateriBella

KateriBella — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 00:10:50 +0000

Funny that this topic should come about now…for the last three days, I’ve been trying for the complete look — hair, makeup, clothes, from top to toes. I don’t normally do make up (when I try things, I sometimes feel that I look like the cheap hooker out for one more before calling it a night), and I have a tendency to sweat like a hippo at a habanero eating contest…why put on makeup if I’m just going to sweat it off? It’s kind of sad at age 29, I just figured out how to do the eye liner thing without looking like said hooker (course, my mom is not the dressy, makeupy type….sigh).

By: Kimks

Kimks — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 00:08:37 +0000

WOW- I never knew there was a term for those that were afraid to look pulled together- now I know.

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 21:34:32 +0000

So, I’m not sure that “chicphobia” is how I’d put it. There’s long been a casual element to mainstream US style, even on the high end. I’m not talking about Crocs and tracksuits, but about things ranging from the perfect rumpledness of a summer suit to jeans dressed up with a sparkly top and heels to mixing sportswear pieces into the work environment.

There are surely some people who fear to be seen as trying too hard; there are also surely people who are TOO casual, or inappropriately casual. But there are also lots of people whose personal styles are simply in line with that classic American casualness. Sure, they could “finish” if they wanted to, or if the situation called for it. But I hesitate to call them afraid or phobic; there’s nothing any more wrong with them than there is with a French woman liking big floppy scarves or a chav all got up in Burberry: they belong to a particular culture, after all, and what they wear is very likely to express that in some way.