As Plumcake explained so succinctly a few days ago, we were asked by IGIGI to choose clothing from their collection to review. In the interest of credibility, Francesca wishes to emphasize to readers that after reviewing the clothes, Plumcake and I have the option of sending them back or buying them. No free clothes for us! The little angel on Francesca’s shoulder is saying “Peace be unto those whose opinions are not influenced by free clothing.” The devil on Francesca’s other shoulder is saying “Dammit.”

Anyhow, Francesca was happy to have an excuse to try on Igigi’s Camilla top in black/teal and the matching Michelle Godet skirt, both of which are on sale:

Francesca will start with the skirt.

First thought upon opening the package: “Oh my, this is gorgeous! It is wispy and pleated and lovely. Hm. I would have preferred the lining to be satin or silk, but it is such a great color and works fine here. I also would have preferred the mesh overlay to be made out of material that is softer and more flowy, but I just love these pleats. If it looks as good on me as it looks out of the package, I’d give it an A- and keep it for sure.”

Second thought, upon trying it on: “Oh, boy, did we make a sizing error. I gave my waist measurement to the marketing lady who helped me pick the outfit, but in choosing the size she seems to have forgotten that this skirt has an elastic waistband! It is falling off of me! But here, I can pin it in order to see what it would look like if it were a smaller size. Oh, it is nice. I must suggest to readers that they ‘size down’ on this one if they order it.”

Third thought: “This skirt is designed to end just below the knee, but it is not made for petite sizes. Therefore it falls below my calves. However, it looks fine that way, as if that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I really like it. So wispy! So feminine!”

Bottom line: Pending my attachment to the top, and with the caveat that the material gets a B+ rather than an A, I would certainly buy this skirt, but I’d want it in a smaller size, or I’ll have it taken in.

Now for the top:

First thought, upon taking it out of the package: “This is also very pretty! Hm, I feel the same way about the material on this one. I would prefer that rather than use a teal-and-black print material, they use a teal lining with real lace overlay. And I find the mesh sleeves to be a little scratchy. But I have to say it does look exactly like in the photographs at the Igigi site, and is colorful and incredibly feminine.”

Second thought, upon trying it on: “Damn, too small! Major love handle situation happening here. We must ‘size up’ on the top.”

Third thought: “These sleeves would look great if I didn’t have lumpy-squishy arms. I’d also need to buy a strapless bra. But I love the vertical lines, which have the same effect as princess seams. This is a very good look for an Apple like me. And I never knew that this shape neckline would work for me; that’s nice to know.”

Bottom line: Francesca is seriously considering buying this top in a larger size, and having the sleeves replaced with black lace, which would hide my upper-arm lumpy-squishies better. The not-quite-as-great-as-I’d-hope-but-almost quality of the material is made up for by the truly elegant, feminine style.

Fill in the blank:

I’d rather be fat than ____________.

Francesca cannot wait to see Plumcake’s answer to this Big Question.

Seriously, just go ahead, find yourself a nice meaty chunk and have at it because I am just about tired of you and I am thisclose to pulling hair.

First of all, the idea of $200 denim makes my slapping hand itch just on principle. Any pair of jeans with that sort of price tag had better be made out of the swaddling clothes of baby angels and come with a small but powerful electronic device, and y’all know I don’t mean an iPod.

Secondly, I don’t mind that you exist but your name is “Seven For All Mankind.”

Really? ALL mankind? Or do you mean “All Mankind As Long As Your Waist Is No Bigger Than 32 Inches With Legs Like a Pole-Vaulting Giraffe?”

THIRTY TWO INCHES. For a LOW rise. From what I’ve been able to discern that’s a small size 12. The average American woman wears a size 14.

Listen, I’m not a bitter fat chick and as I said I don’t mind that you EXIST. I’m sure you serve a purpose much in the same way that fleas, black velvet paintings of The Last Supper and leopard print stirrup pants do, but this is not Animal Farm and you are NOT the pant of the working-class proletariat so stop pretending you are.

Drop the name or add some sizes. The choice is yours.

Chompingly yours,

Plumcake

Oh, and Moschino Cheap and Chic? Don’t think that your fabulous designs are going to save you from my wrath. I’m coming for you next.

Here we have more of the superfantastic literary recommendations by Francesca, as well as Francesca’s favorite art print!

Before Francesca continues, she wants to know: Have you yet ordered your copy of The Time Traveler’s Wife, which many, many of Francesca’s internet friends have also read and loved, loved, loved?

And have you yet ordered the memoirs of Camryn Manheim, who shares her superfantastic fattitude in the funny and relatable Wake Up, I’m Fat!?

Good. Then we may continue.

Francesca was completely drawn in to the vivid, dramatic, and somewhat creepy The Virgin Blue. The critical reviews for this book by Tracy Chevalier, who went on later to write Girl with a Pearl Earring, were lukewarm at best. But Francesca found it fascinating. The book follows the lives of two very different women, who each live in rural France hundreds of years apart. It is true that the modern-day narrator is not as sympathetic as Chevalier perhaps intended. It is also true that the relationships between the two women rely on coincidences which require great suspension of disbelief. However, the story — especially the parts dealing with the heroine of the 1600′s — was for Francesca a real page-turner and quite chilling. Come to think of it, perhaps Francesca also likes this book because a certain shade of blue plays an important role, and Francesca is obsessed with blue.

Speaking of believing in your own taste, Francesca learned much from Wine For Dummies. Yes, ’tis true. There is much here that will make one seem more educated when attending a cocktail party: how to swish one’s wine, and what sort of glass to use with different types of drink, what makes dry wines dry and sweet ones sweet. But the most valuable tidbit in the entire volume is the encouragement to trust yourself, and not to drink a “fine” wine just because “the experts” say it is fine. “The best wine,” the author says, “is a wine that you like.”

Are you looking to “break into” freelance journalism? Francesca recommends this introductory book which explains how to think of ideas for magazine articles, how to pitch them, and how to write them better: Writer’s Digest Handbook Of Magazine Article Writing

And now, Francesca, who is a big fan of abstract expressionism, presents her favorite painting of all time, the “Composition” by Jackson Pollock:

Francesca could stare at it all day. Someday, when I move into a larger apartment, this poster will adorn Francesca’s wall.

Emanuelle’s cry for help is here, with responses from our many internet friends!

Part One of Francesca’s response here.

Part Two of our advice for women of the Apple shape, with large breasts, large tummy, and small hips:

Dear Emanuelle,

Here are some more tips for you and other Apple-shaped sisters:

• have a collection of long-ish necklaces in different lengths (some ending at or just above your breasts, some hanging between them) since this will help bring attention to places you want. Also longer necklaces will help elongate your body.
• avoid shiny clothing
  
• avoid tops which end at the waist or on the tummy: go for looks that end at the hips (but not far below the hips, since this will look frumpy)
• Regarding dresses and skirts, Francesca’s tips are to wear skirts that come just below the knee (to accentuate the lovely calves which Emanuelle is likely to have)
  
• do not wear large prints, such as huge flowers or wide stripes or big plaids. Keep prints small and very dainty, especially since you are but 5’5″ (only a little bit taller than Francesca!)
• wearing a dress that is all one color, or a blouse and skirt whose colors match perfectly, will help elongate your body. However do not be afraid to mix and match colors as long as the items go together tastefully.

Now, we come to the issue of your location. Francesca spends much time abroad, and is well aware of the two-pronged problem: The difficulty of finding plus-size clothing in Europe, and the non-cosmopolitan nature of many American retailers’ shipping policies. Before ordering, check into the customs regulations in your country, so as to avoid being charged exhorbitant taxes upon the arrival of your pretty clothes! It is usually best to find or make a friend in the United States who can accept the shipments for you and then mail you the clothing in an unmarked box. It may be helpful to undo any packaging and take off labels so that the clothing are no longer “new,” as some countries do not charge customs on “used” clothing. Above all, always pay for super-duper trace-able shipping, as packages have a way of getting lost on their journey over the Pond.

Happy shopping!

You are superfantastic!

xoxo, Francesca

DISCUSS

Monif C. (for sizes 14 and up) announced today their new collection, “Glamour Donna.”

Francesca looked over the new offerings and feel that they are worth a look if you like the brazen, I-will-wear-an-empire-waist-even-if-I-am-Apple-shaped” Monif C. “look.” If it works for you, go with it.

Myself, Francesca feels that if you are going to spend $250 on a dress, you are better off doing so at Talbots. Or even better, wait for a sale at Talbots and buy two dresses.

However, a couple items in the new Monif C collection did catch my eye. This red party dress would look great on a Pear with not-lumpy-squishy arms:

(Please, skip the distracting stockings. Thank you.)

Also announced today: Monif C. is starting to sell shoes in large sizes and wide widths! Francesca cannot complain about a new source of shoes.

Again, one must be careful. The boots here are, to Francesca’s eyes, black woolly cockroach killers. But these strappy leather sandals are flirty and fun, and from here the price looks fair:

Happy browsing and happy shopping!

xoxo, Francesca

A few weeks ago Francesca and I were asked by the fine folks at IGIGI –the company most known for dressing Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky– to select an item or two from their most recent collection, wear it and write an unbiased review. I’m not sure they knew what they were in for.

I chose the Navy Trench Dress

Beautiful no? But beware friends, this is a lot of dress. The material is heavy, the skirt is full and there is a lot of interest going on what with the buttons and the belt and the wide lapels. I am 5’10″ and I just barely carried it off. La Blonsky wore the same dress on Regis and although she cannot by her very nature do anything but look adorable, this particular ensemble makes her look mumsy.

And yet sadly it’s the mumsy-ness –that look somewhere between Mary Poppins and an Edwardian Matron– that makes this dress is an “almost.”

It almost works. It is almost superfantastic. I cannot complain about the quality of the workmanship, it’s beautifully made (in the USA!) and meticulously finished. Even the material which I did not particularly love was substantial and not cheap.

So what went wrong? Well first, there are the puff shoulders. Oh you can’t see them, but trust me, they’re there and much more noticeable in person. I do not find a puff shoulder becoming in general, but it muddied up a dress whose lines were struggling to stay clean and precise. The lapel is overdone, although just barely and the double breasted buttons are set a bit too wide to flatter. The skirt is good, but needs hemming on anyone under 6 feet tall (La Blonsky needed to lose a good 6″ off hers. I would have benefited from 2″) to capture that New Look feel.

If IGIGI comes out with a more streamlined, stylized version next year I’d consider adding it to my permanent rotation, but as it is my life is too short for an “almost” to play any part…and so, by the way, is yours.

***

Want to try it yourself? Use code WRAP at the checkout for 10% off the sales price.