Manolo for the Big Girl

Seriously Trista? Seriously? Because …seriously?

Listen, I don’t know who you are, the best I can garner is that you were on some reality show, which means a) you’ve probably got a great rack and teeth like chiclets and b) your daddy didn’t take enough take time from his busy schedule of golf-playing and maid-banging to tell you he loved you, and thus you need the love –and by love I mean “fleeting awareness”– of millions of Americans to make up for that time you caught him playing “airplane” with Consuelo in the guest house during your 6th grade pool party.

I also know you had a baby 3 months ago, weigh 116 pounds and hate your belly.

“It has a layer of fat, which of course, your body has to put on, but it’s blubbery and I hate it. I want to be able to go bathing suit shopping for a vacation and not feel totally disgusted.”

as I said before (you may recall)…SERIOUSLY?

I don’t know much about babies. They’re small and sticky and don’t know how to tell you when they need to go outside to pee, so I’m not going to give you any sage wyse womyn advice about child rearing, but, and I’m asking this on behalf of America… could you like, TRY to keep your self-loathing to yourself?

I mean, whatever happened to good old-fashioned WASP repression? It’s what’s made this country great. My family hasn’t shown a single human emotion since 1783 and look how I turned out. You drink, you cry in your walk-in shoe closet and you screw up your children until they develop interesting ideas about putting lotion on skin, but you do NOT talk to trashy magazines about the unbearable lightness of belly fat until the entire female population of these fine United States wants to hold you underwater until the big bubble pops.

Oh, and this, about  her beloved husband:

If I eat something that I shouldn’t, Ryan shakes his finger at me and says, ‘Uh, uh, uh!’ He’s been awesome, 100 percent supportive.

Really? Supportive? Let me lay a little church on you. That is not how a good husband talks. That is how someone who desperately needs to shower with a hair dryer talks.

Maybe it should be a shower for two.

Many of our beloved readers have come to me asking for taffeta dresses. I will admit that my initial response was “Taffeta? Really?” Okay, that’s a lie, my first thought was the “Taffeta, darling” gag from Young Frankenstein but my SECOND thought was “Taffeta? Really?”

I think many of us, especially those of us who were raised in the ’80’s and early ’90’s, have a problem with taffeta. It’s loud, it’s crunchy and sometime in our history we were once forced to wear Something Horrible With a Bow –mine was an electric green choir dress with puff sleeves a drop yoke waist and a butt bow big enough to draw other, smaller butt bows into its orbit by sheer gravitational force.

But I am not one to hold grudges, so I went out yesterday to Nordstrom to find –and actually try on– some taffeta dresses and to my surprise, some of them were pretty good.  I don’t think I’ll ever be a taffeta person but if you are, you’ve got some pretty nice choices for party wear this season. Let’s take a look.

This first dress by Donna Morgan is aggressively not my style but could really work for the right girl, especially for those of you who like a little bit of Renn Fest in their party dress.  Even though it didn’t work on me, it’s nice to see an unusual sleeve.

I liked this one a bit better since I’m a sucker for a shirtwaist, and eyelet seemed to be such an unusual treatment for a winter fabric. The sleeve is good but tulle poking out makes this a very young dress so if you’re a lady of a certain age, you might want to try it on and make sure it works on you, by JS Boutique.

And now my favorite.  I actually really love this dress. There is a sleeve issue so I’d definitely pair it with a chubby little angora cardi. Toss on a double-strand of 50’s pearls (or a blocked beret and earrings?) and maybe a pair of shortie gloves and it’s very Ralph Lauren does Dead Poets Society.  Love it!

What is better than to spend all day Saturday in one’s terry-cloth bathrobe and bunny slippers,

reading the newspaper or a good book recently recommended by Francesca, and sipping on hot chocolate?

It would be an excellent prelude to a night on the town, when one can wear the Bunny shoes by Bruno Magli (at 24% off),

or the uber-vixen Bunny shoes by Modern Vintage.

Happy shopping and happy weekend!

xoxo, Francesca

We continue our dabbling into books that touch on topics in American history and society. Part one is here.

Edith Wharton is best known for writing The Age of Innocence, The House of Mirth, and Ethan Frome, but Francesca would first recommend one of her lesser-known novels, The Custom of the Country, for its readability and deliciously entertaining drama. It is the story of Undine Spragg, who rises to ever higher socioeconomic levels by marrying successively more socioeconomically desirable husbands. Francesca wrote a long thesis paper on this book in college and can tell you some interesting trivia which deepens the book. In 1913, when The Custom of the Country was written, the divorce rate in America had recently doubled, from 2 percent to 4 percent (yes, I know, I know) and there was much concern for the state of American marriage. This, combined with Wharton’s interest in women’s inability to change their life circumstances except through their husbands, led her to ask: What if we take both of these situations together to their logical conclusion? The result is a main character you will love to hate. And, also, a window into just-post-Edwardian New York, which Francesca always loves. New York in 1913 had a lot going on, indeed. And fantastic clothes.

This week, Francesca recommends two books by one of Francesca’s favorite authors, Mr. John Steinbeck. Sure, his writing is wordy. It is also relatable. Reading a Steinbeck story is like having a grandpa telling Francesca stories by the fire. Sometimes they comforting. Sometimes they are scary. Always there is something familiar about them. They speak of, and to, the American soul!

East of Eden is an epic novel of  . . . well, epic, nay Biblical, proportions. Indeed, the many, many Biblical allusions (and even outright references) will amuse and gratify anyone familiar with the Book of Genesis. The story follows several generations of two families in California’s Salinas valley at the start of the 20th century. It’s got patricide. It’s got prostitution. It’s got sibling rivalry. It’s also got nobility, and dignity, and wisdom. Steinbeck considered it his greatest work, and Francesca agrees.

Francesca studied The Grapes of Wrath  in 11th grade, and it is only because she had a wonderful, wonderful teacher that she escaped the great tragedy which is other people thinking the book is boring. As Francesca often says, “the best way to kill a book is to teach it in high school.” This book is wonderful. It follows a family who is driven out of the Oklahoma farm by the dust bowl of the 1930’s and the Great Depression, and make their way to California. The injustices they suffer along the way at the hands of other Americans are very angering, and gain an extra level of poignancy when read now, after, say, the Katrina debacle. The chapter in which we find out why the book is called The Grapes of Wrath is one of the most lyrical, beautiful, goose-bump inducing pieces of writing ever.

Francesca wishes everyone happy reading! xoxo!

If I die and by some celestial clerical error actually make it to Heaven, I know two things will be true. One, I’ll probably be slightly disappointed –living in Texas can spoil a girl for such things– and two, there will be a great big Saks Fifth Avenue right inside those pearly gates.

I am an unapologetic Saks booster, and I think outside of major cities, Saks often gets a bad rap. It’s not scary or snobby and most of the shoppers don’t have hospital wings named after them. It’s just a department store. A very nice department store, but a department store all the same.

And here’s a secret: they give better swag. For example, my don’t-leave-home-without-it lipcolor is Chanel’s Rouge Double Intensite in Rose Garnet. It costs the same no matter where I buy it, but if I buy it at Saks, I get all sorts of high quality sample goodies thrown in, PLUS a handwritten thank-you note in the mail three days later.

They also have, hands down, THE most gorgeous adult cocktail dresses and formal gowns for plus size women. Not grown-up prom gear, but real dresses –often surprisingly affordable– that are worthy of a woman who is past her acne and algebra days.

Here are a few of my favorite things:

could you DIE? I could die. This Tadashi ruched metallic dress is pure eff-you drama, you have to be a WOMAN to carry off this dress. Look at that detailing on the torso. It reminds me so much of Alexander McQueen’s incredible fall collection but infinitely more wearable –and affordable for a plus-size gal. Also? Sleeves.

Here’s the cocktail version, which is easier to carry off –you don’t need to be as tall as a goddess for that one– and still gives you buckets of waist slimming glamour. I’ve seen this one in person, it doesn’t look as “wet” as it does in the image. This, for the people who said they hated ruching, is how it’s done. Also, a similar look in capri blue.

Finally a sweet but unsentimental party dress in silk chiffon. Silk chiffon –unlike it’s tragic polyester cousin– floats beautifully, drapes like heaven and is flattering to almost every body. This confection is available in black, plus a host of ever so slightly unusual hues. Now here’s a tough question: do I like it better in strawberry or forest green?

I’m glad we had this little talk.

Look! The superfantastic Never Teh Bride, who writes the uber-entertaining Manolo for the Brides blog, has picked up Francesca’s story about the sale at Sydney’s Closet, and posts pretty pictures of her favorite plus-size wedding gowns! Go see!

Also note the tip, at the end of her post, which Francesca sent her about the plus-size wedding gowns at David’s Bridal online.

Thank you, Never Teh Bride! The Big Girls love the Brides (especially when they are Us).

 . . . run, do not walk, to check out this new Black Dress, just arrived at Igigi!

The company just announced this dress today. If you hurry you can be the first in town to own one.

God, I love Igigi.

Francesca and Plumcake want to know:

What is the single worst piece of advice you’ve ever received? Did you follow it?

As I was perusing the September issue of Vogue, cutting out looks to further inspire my fall/winter wardrobe and debating whether this will be the winter I go off of Chanel No. 5 and take a girlish foray into the new, lush mandarin-and-incense Prada scent, Infusion d’Iris, I noticed that there were not one but two articles more-or-less devoted to chic, purposeful dressing. One was about how structured dressing is back in a big way and the other discussed chicphobia, a made-up name for the American woman’s fear of looking as if she tried. That struck a chord for me, especially as a plus size woman.

I can see the appeal of looking unfinished. Women in general, and big girls in particular, are used to having their looks torn apart by complete strangers. We can say it’s the media, but really, we do it to each other. Knowing that, it’s tempting to leave an easy out: a beautiful dress but rumpled hair, flawless cashmere sweater and unhemmed jeans (a sin I am guilty of at this very moment) whatever it takes to say “oh, I’m not actually trying.” so as to not subject yourself to actual criticism.

It takes a lot of courage to dress purposefully. When it’s all been “done” –hair, make-up, shoes, outfit, the works– you’re essentially announcing “there is nothing wrong with me” which of course makes the bitchy voices in our head reply “oh yeah?”

Why not take an opportunity this week to leave the house looking completely finished? Not over-done mind you, you still want to use discretion and discipline when it comes to accessories and makeup. It does take courage, but you might be amazed that your confidence will rise to meet the cause.

Oh, how Francesca adores Sydney’s Closet! If you are in the market for plus-size formal or semi-formal gowns / dresses (shop early for next year’s prom?), or bridesmaid’s dresses, or a wedding dress (!) now is the time to rifle through Sydney’s wares. Most of the items are $20-$40 off, some more deeply discounted.

Some of Francesca’s faves:

Francesca just adores wedding dresses with lace coats.

This dress, called “Barcelona Beauty,” makes Francesca wish to learn the salsa and the tango! The chocolate color is deep and gorgeous.

Francesca loves sparklies! (Also, she wishes to say that the model in the black dress is just. so. adorable. Can Francesca adopt her?) The dress is on deep discount and comes with a matching shawl.

Lots to see! Happy shopping!

xoxo, Francesca