Comments on: Thanksgiving When You’re Not So Thankful

By: Kimks

Kimks — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 03:54:22 +0000

My Husband and I are from New Mexico and we are now living in a North Eastern City. Every Year, since we have moved here we have invited everyone who needs a place to have Thanksgiving to our house for our dinner- its a lovely tradition and we have had a chance to get to know people from our Church and work in a different way. Thanksgiving is a loaded Holiday for some people and we have learned that a lot of people like the reprieve from the family situation.
Anyhow, I make Tamales and use all different kids of Chiles in my Thanksgiving meal- I do traditional Southwestern flavors in all of the traditional dishes. Theres is a turkey, cranberries, stuffing and sweet potatoes, they are just presented a little differently then the North Eastern Version. It’s not better, it’s not worse, it’s just different.
We were talking about Thanksgiving traditions at work and a woman looked at me and said “How can you call it Thanksgiving if you don’t have Green Bean Caserole and Canned Cranberry Jelly.” She was very snooty about it, and I just let it go. Silently I was very grateful to be able to get joy out of Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is a Loaded Holiday- Create your own traditions, ignore the bitter people and remember to count your blessing and eat your pie- Calories and fat Grams don’t count on Thanksgiving….

By: Glinda

Glinda — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 19:47:20 +0000

Great advice from Twistie. Although it saddens me that so many people have such negative associations with family get-togethers.

My son is also a picky eater, and you know what, if he doesn’t want to eat what’s there on Thanksgiving, he can go one night without having protein, you know? It’s not going to kill him.

By: AngelleNoire

AngelleNoire — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 17:38:46 +0000

My mom and I have celebrated thanksgiving just her and I pretty much every year since my dad split. That first year was for lack of a better term not superfantastic. But now I do all the cooking which I love and she sings Thanksgiving carols and sets a fantabulous table with the good china, we do not invite anyone over and eat in our best pajama ensembles. I love our Thanksgivings and I can’t wait for this one!

By: Nicola

Nicola — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 06:09:25 +0000

Methinks that Scarlett needs to find a terrible-tasting recipe for fat-free pie crust with sugar-free filling, topped of course, with Cool Whip Free ™.

That oughta teach ‘em.

By: me

me — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 23:09:26 +0000

Red Queen, I sincerely hope you meant gluttonous and not glutinous because that sounds…uh…well, you know. ;)

My family sends mixed messages. The women show their love and affection by piling on the food and demanding that you eat more, but almost immediately after the meal, they’ll turn to you and ask if you’ve gained weight. Sigh. I love ‘em anyway.

By: de

de — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:31:13 +0000

Oh my. Oh my my my. If I brought the delicious desserts to a party (regardless of attendees) and then was told to not eat them/very much, I’d pack my pies and head home, thank you very much.

To use her phrase….don’t you think you’ve had enough OF BEING TREATED THAT WAY?

The de always loads her plate with as much of what she wants to eat at every meal, including holidays. The de is a grown woman and even happily tells her own mother “you aren’t the boss of me’ :P….as an adult, The de gets to make her own fabulous food choices. Which also include the choice of taking pies elsewhere.

That being said, The de does have a slight bit of dread about holiday meals – The de does not eat The Meat and therefore is often given “bless your heart” pity faces that drive her up the wall. Trust The de, she is not missing out because you are having her helping of ham/turkey/roast.

By: Red Queen

Red Queen — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:21:20 +0000

I do a huge orphan Thanksgiving every year- even though my own family lives just 2 miles from me. Growing up every major holiday meant a violent family argument, so a few years ago I stopped going.

I have a bit of a conundrum trying to feed the vegans, gluten allergic, veggies and carnivores but I’ve become a pro at making things vegan that don’t taste vegan. There are a few glutinous treats for us meat eaters (sausage stuffing, turkey cooked in a liter of wine and deviled eggs) and everything else is made with non animal stuff.

Because I’m down with cooking for the vegans- I have a big crowd every year. Last year there were 17 people in my little apartment.

By: Eilish

Eilish — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 04:34:01 +0000

I have always admired my best friend who does not feel the need to spend lots of time with her family that she simply does not feel that close to. She spends as much time as SHE wants to feel she has honored her commitments, but she often spends holidays with my family (how lucky are we?) or other friends that she enjoys more. She has done this since she was quite young and I think it is very wise of her.

By: Chaser

Chaser — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 01:02:50 +0000

Oh, my, I remember the first time I went, my chubby little self, to my husband’s grandmother, who is a lovely person, but who unfortunately has attached to her an irritating, fat-phobic daughter (husband’s aunt.)

So one day, while passing out drinks for dinner, she asked me if I wanted some milk. I said “sure, thanks” She stopped and announced, in a voice of disgust, “But you already HAD milk at LUNCH.”

And I looked up and said, “Then why did you offer it, moron?”**

It made for a few awkward minutes, but it shut the rest of them up for years. I won’t go to his family anymore. Fat-phobic daughter is attached to “creepy uncle” who tries to explain to me that his “wife doesn’t understand him” and there are just limits to what one person can stand. Groped in one room, humiliated in the other, and all the while just wishing I could be at home watching Sci-Fi.

**I think, in general, it is very bad to be disrespectful to one’s elders, but it is also very bad to be so dumb. If you are freaked about somebody who is fat eating a cookie in front of you, 1) get a life and 2) don’t offer them one. It’s really not their obligation to meet your expectations in this social context.

By: Canaadian Chick

Canaadian Chick — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 00:22:04 +0000

kayaitch, don’t despair.

I grew up hating turkey, and in fact, I still dislike it. I’m also still not crazy about potatoes. Etc.

I also grew up knowing that my mom wasn’t going to make a special meal just for me, so I could eat vegies and bread and butter and whatever other odds and ends were on the table, and that was all there was to it.

And I survived. No one ever died from NOT gorging on a turkey feast. If the rest of your family and friends want a traditional turkey meal, don’t let a picky-eating daughter stop you.

And hugs to all of you have lousy family gatherings for whatever reason…