Francesca has asked our esteemed guru, Manolo the Shoeblogger, about the policy of our wonderful spam filter.

He said that many seemingly innocuous words are included in the “red flag” category — and mark your comment for moderation — because spammers were using them in ways that were not, indeed, innocuous.

For example, if many spam comments come in offering, say, a good deal on computers, then the word “computer” might be added to the spam list — and then anyone who includes the word “computer” in her comment will have it set aside for moderation.

It is unfortunate, but such is life. There is A LOT of spam out there. Do not worry, Francesca and Plumcake check into the “moderate comments” section often.

xoxo,
Francesca

I’ve gotten in this argument on a few other websites before, although usually about the muffin-top phenomenon more than the arms, but my same logic applies:
1) Love your body and be comfortable with its curves, but…
2) Why in the world would you want to wear something unflattering?

I, personally, NEVER show my upper arms. I am also extremely fair, so when I expose my upper arms it’s like I’m covered in spotlights. On me this is just as unflattering as the lack of support on our example.

I am a very large woman (on the Y and X axis!) and I am okay with this. But you will never see me wearing something that exposes the lumpy-squishy parts of my body because I frankly find that very unflattering. Your eye is immediately drawn to this. Not to your gorgeous face, not to your fantastic shoulders, not to your great legs.

I’m sure I’m in the minority here, and I don’t mean to offend. This is MHO, but it’s non-negotiable when it comes to my clothes.

I actually like the dress in the photo, and I don’t think the model is unattractive by any means (she is a textbook Pear, and appears to have lovely skin!) but the dress doesn’t fit her well. The handkerchief hem is disproportionate, a skosh too long for her, and it seems to overwhelm her figure. There’s also the obvious support problem up top.

Have you ever gone through a day wearing something that was just ill-fitting, didn’t flatter you in all the right places, and you were uncomfortable and self-conscious all day? Even if nobody else noticed that the garment wasn’t superfantastic, you just didn’t feel good about yourself? I think I’m projecting a little bit of that onto the model. I wouldn’t have given her arms a second glance if the dress fit her better–and I don’t even think her arms are unattractive. They’re…just arms, y’know?

I’ll probably never be totally un-self-conscious about all aspects of my figure, but I just know I feel better when I wear clothes that fit me properly, that skim and billow in all the right places instead of constricting or drowning me. Bare arms aren’t the issue here, so much, IMHO–it’s wearing things that are comfortable and flattering, and on this poor model, this dress appears to be neither.

Also I, too, dislike the term “lumpy-squishies.”

Some people get, well, basically outraged when a fat woman dares to wear something more revealing. They think it’s their right to police our bodies. I think there’s more discrimination against fat women, but it does happen to women of all sizes. As Laura Mars said, we are not public property. The problem is not with our arms, or thighs, or any of that. It’s with others. This fact may seem obvious when I state it like that, but think about it: is that what we really feel inside?

One of the ways for us to change what others think is to challenge them by wearing whatever the heck we want despite what we think some other people might say. Furthermore, I know I have worn some things I thought might make me look hideous - like my tanktops in summer - but when I asked others their honest opinions, it wasn’t really that big a deal. I didn’t look as awful as I thought I did. I was the first to criticize myself.

There are always going to be some bad apples who feel the need to criticize others, and it’s usually based on their own poor self-esteem. And there are some clothes that just may not be as flattering to certain figures as other styles would be. But there is a difference between that and one covering herself up because she is ashamed of her body. Don’t hide yourself! Love yourself! Wear what you want. When you are confident about yourself, it doesn’t matter what you wear. That’s what people will notice the most. If people are going to be shallow and judge you, why would you listen to them? They are yucky people. Don’t take what they say to heart. I personally just have pity for them.

So I say to the original post: confident and sassy!

One more thing - to those who find this post saddening: this is a blog dealing with plus-size issues. Things are probably going to come up that are going to be triggering, no? We can’t talk about the issues surrounding fat women (and I use the term in a positive, reclaiming way) without talking about the problems we face everyday. This arm issue is one of ‘em.

The peasant blouse. Yeeeeech. I’ve never found anything I look worse in, except for maybe the broomstick crinkly skirts that are sold with them. I’ve never been able to pull off any of those types of looks (couldn’t wait for Bohemian style to go away.) Further, there is plenty of heavy and cotton fabric in the world, especially marketed to plus sizes.

I remain unconvinced. For women with disproportionately large arms, they face an unpleasant clothing choice: size up on the blouse/dress to get the arms in (thereby having the rest of hang in an ill-fitting manner–gar) or let the sleeves be tight (and have the arm versions of muffin tops.) I’m just not sure that those are inherently better choices than just letting your arms be what they are.