Our internet friend Peg writes:

Help! I put my summer clothes away and saw black, black,black. Black Talbot suits, sparkly black evening tops, a black dress with ruffles which I hate. I am 16W above and 18W below and at 73 seem to be preparing to be laid out (at least they will have a choice). I think years of being pear shaped have driven me into the NYC disguise of black. I need color and perhaps counseling but would prefer color not bright colors but deep purples, amber reds, cerulean blues. Peg

Although everyone knows that the 70′s are the new 50′s, this question vaguely reminds Francesca (kinda, sorta) of one of her favorite, favorite poems, by Jenny Joseph:

WHEN I AM AN OLD WOMAN I SHALL WEAR PURPLE
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Francesca sincerely hopes that when she is 73 she has the humor and self-awareness of the super-fantastic Peg.

Anyhow, we begin the clothing search at Talbot’s Women, since that is where we usually begin. Indeed, Talbots is fond of black and grey, but there are always colorful exceptions, such as this Cherry Red number:

and this sky-blue pullover:

It is worth perusing their site to find high-quality clothing in colors that are attractive but not blinding.

Next, for casual wear, Silhouettes has many comfortable and colorful items, including this shirred-waist dress in Eggplant:

And this dramatic mocha-colored satin-trimmed pants set, for the fashionable entrance into book parties in Manhattan, where everyone else is wearing black:

If the prices at Saks don’t make you turn this color, here is a gorgeous forest-green sweater for strolls in Central Park:

And finally, after you’ve perused all the above sites, Francesca suggests that Peg try hsn.com, where sizes often go up to 3x (or even 5x). Behold, an amazing georgette top with bat-wing sleeves:

or, for a more conservative look, this jersey knot dress with 3/4-length sleeves, available in red, teal, and navy:

Happy, happy shopping to Peg! xoxo!

Francesca

The Americana book-recommendation series began two weeks ago with Part 1 and continued last week with Part 2.

Now we are firmly in the 20th century. Francesca realizes that you are now expecting the renowned literary masters of the 1900′s, the Faulker, the Hughes, the Hurston, the Salinger, the Fitzgerald, the Morrison, but no! Francesca wishes to zero in on lesser-known gems, the fun and fast reads which illuminate the more amusing facets of American life, the facets at which we must laugh (lest, perhaps, we will cry).

A reviewer on Amazon wrote this superfantastic description of Neil Simon’s superfantastic and amusing play, Brighton Beach Memoirs:

The first of his three semi-autobiographical plays about the “Jerome” family, Neil Simon’s Brighton Beach Memoirs takes place in Brooklyn, New York toward the end of the Great Depression. Fourteen-year-old Eugene Morris Jerome (Simon’s alter ego) is the protagonist and narrator of the play. Struggling to find his niche among his large, extended family, Eugene writes his own witty observations about them in his journal, sharing them with us as he does so. Yet the focus of the conflict is on the older family members (including Eugene’s parents, Kate and Jack; his brother, Stanley; his cousin Nora; and his widowed Aunt Blanche), all of whom struggle daily to make ends meet. Though a comedy, Brighton Beach Memoirs asks a serious question, one posed in earlier eras by playwrights like Clifford Odets and Arthur Miller: that is, how can one preserve one’s morals and integrity in difficult economic times, when it is all one can do just to put food on the table? Brighton Beach Memoirs is an affectionate though often painful family comedy; in it, Simon establishes characters for his two later “Jerome” plays, Biloxi Blues and Broadway Bound, while anticipating the impending WWII era, the setting for the former title.

Also taking place in New York City, next we have the enlightening indictment against the Big Apple’s public school system, the ingeniously constructed and clever Up the Down Staircase. This novel follows the story of a new teacher in a large high school, and uses “copies” of her memos, diary entries, lesson plans, student papers, and items found in her classroom’s garbage can to tell the tale.

The scary thing about this book is that the Francesca taught in a New York City public school not that long ago, and though Up the Down Staircase was written in the 1960′s, not much had changed! Argh!

(When people would say to Francesca “Ah, you are so lucky to be a teacher, all that vacation time! Whole summers off!” Francesca would say “Yes, I’d be happy to trade working conditions with you any day.” That always shut them up. Now, Francesca is a fashion blogger, having less of a direct impact on the state of society, but enjoying a far, far less stressful life. No more chalk melting in her hands on hot days! No more stacks and stacks and stacks of papers to grade! No more finding out on September 1st what classes she is teaching, and having to plan five different lesson plans every day, even though the contract explicitly states that there is a 3-prep limit! No more sitting around at parent-teacher conferences and having only 15 percent of the parents show up! No more students acting edgy in class because they have no food at home, or no parents! No more teaching to ridiculous, un-thought-out standardized tests! No more being blamed when the students do not pass the tests, even though they were 3-5 years behind grade level — sometimes, functionally illiterate– when they arrived in my class! No more 20 percent homework-completing rate! No more climbing up several flights of stairs with all one’s books because the teachers’ elevator is broken from November to May!

No, no, Francesca now enjoys an anxiety-free life, writing about d’orsay sandals and princess-seam blouses. We must all be extremely grateful to those who enter the teaching profession and stay in it longer than two years. Its takes more fortitude than Francesca has. To all you teachers: Francesca applauds you! xoxo!

Ahem. Back to the ranch . . . )

And now, one of the best, most telling books to emerge from the 20th century: Jerry Falwell v. Larry Flynt: The First Amendment on Trial. This book explains in thorough and crystal-clear detail the social and legal context surrounding one of the most famous “free speech trials,” which occurred when evangelical minister Jerry Falwell sued Dirty Man extraordinaire Larry Flynt for libel. The book turns the legal ins and outs into a compelling drama (which is what it was), and sheds light on just how deep the rabbit holes of free speech, religion, and pornography really are. Who knew law could be so interesting, and so much fun to read about?

Happy reading!

xoxo, Francesca

Internet friend Allison writes:

I’m invited to a black tie wedding in New York in mid-November. Is there a dress you can recommend that comes in a 24, has a sleeve of some kind (I really hate dealing with shrugs and/or wraps if I’m dancing) and is still formal enough for black tie? Also, I’d love if it didn’t cost more than $250. Thank you in advance for any help!

Plumcake replies:
Ah the formal wedding. Those magical evenings when you get to trade your personal sanity, comfort and an expensive share in a 6 quart Kitchenaid Artisan Pro mixer for four hours of clumsy small talk, a feeble breast grope by an inappropriate member of the groom’s family (bonus points if he was born before the New Deal or has to carry an oxygen tank) and all the hangover-inducing champagne you can drink.

Still, there is something appealing about the idea of getting all dandied up for a fancy event and the good news is, now that black is completely acceptable for fall and evening weddings, your outfit doesn’t have to cost as much as that damn mixer.

Case in point, this simple black velvet dress from Macy’s for $109.

It looks semi-casual here but it’s all about the accessories. Trade the hobo bag for a small clutch and accessorize with your very best jewelry and most intimidating heels. Do you have a fur wrap? Now’s the time to wear it. Make the maquillage a bit more dramatic and sophisticated –although I’d shy away from a true red lip unless you’re positive you won’t look like a vamp– wear your hair in the most chic way you know how and at least try to limit yourself to one groomsman.

What to do with the extra money? Well, obviously there’s the Divorce Pool, but if you don’t have a fur stole, why not hit eBay and pick up a vintage one? They can come in handy…just ask Joan Collins.