Our internet friend Tracy writes:
Dear Francesca and Plumcake,
I’m a woman of aspiring superfantasticness and I have a question for you. I see all the cute fashions out in the world and can’t wear them. You see, I’m busty. No, not D-cup busty, but H-cup busty. Most of the superfantastic fashions don’t look good on me. What tips and choices are there for the massive mammaried amongst us?
Ayyyyy! Francesca is aware that having the super-sized boobs is the mixed blessing. On one hand, the chest lends itself to feelings of uber-womanliness, and one can easily play the role of the floozy plaything or of the staid, solid Midwestern farm matron. Such a chest also makes it much, much easier to fit in at the Renaissance fairs.
On the other hand, the Tracy is indeed in a bind, a bind stronger than that of the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder required for these circumstances: what does one wear?
Before we discuss the specific clothes, Francesca wishes to outline certain basic principles.
First, she cannot stress enough the importance of good posture. Slouching is not superfantastic! Stand up straight and show off those girls!
Second, we once again emphasize the importance of the strong, underwired, well-fitting, non-pointy bra, and of replacing said bra often. One does not wish to wake up one drizzly morning to discover that all one’s bras are stretched out and frayed and were well-fitting, once upon a time, say 15 pounds ago. Our readers rave about the plus-size bras of the British vendor Bravissimo. Here, too, is the site which specializes in the bras for the racktastic women.
Third: Accentuate your shape; do not attempt to hide it. Many the well-endowed woman thinks that if she wears big, loose clothing, such a style will “minimize” her chest and help her avoid looking like Dolly Parton. To these women, Francesca says: You are not kidding anyone. In fact, the best way to make the superboobs look conservative is to wear fitted clothing which skims the breast and comes in to the waist. Loose clothing which hangs straight down from the breast will look like a tent. Fitted clothes which do not try to make a secret of the breasts look put-together and ladylike.
For this reason, Francesca strongly recommends wearing pretty belts, or – if you are appley—buying tops with princess seams or well-placed darts.
Fourth, the “rule” against wearing shiny clothing, which reflects light off of one’s, eh, largesse, generally holds, although sparkly or satiny fabrics may do well if the top is structured to provide shape.
Fifth: Make friends with a seamstress. It may indeed be required, often, to buy blouses and dresses in large sizes in order to fit over the chest, and then have the waist and arms “taken in.” The little bit of extra effort and expense involved is more than worth it, to have clothes which fit you perfectly.
Bravissimo has a wonderful line of clothing just for the big of boob (up to size 16), including coats and jackets, tops of all kinds
Stateside, here is a lovely kimono dress from Silhouette which would look excellent on the woman of massive mimis:
And for the young at heart, here is a cute little jacket which can be worn over a t-shirt or cami to create an attractive shape: