Manolo for the Big Girl

Lookie! The New York Times’ “T Magazine” has advice for those of the Fatted Calf:

Question: I’m looking for women’s boots that can fit my calves. A lot of tall boots are too narrow for me. Help!

Answered by: Karla M. Martinez, women’s fashion market director

Your problem is something that I have heard so many ladies complain about — it is a real issue, and I wish more shoe companies were sensitive to it. One common solution is buying boots with a stretchy panel sewn into the upper. But that isn’t always the most attractive style, and sometimes the elastic does not provide enough stretch to fit. A great solution I’ve found is J.Crew’s boots, which are made for different calf sizes. I love the Sinclair boot in espresso brown. Equestrian boots also tend to have wider widths and always look so chic with dresses, pants or skirts. You have good options available at A.P.C.  . . . and Madewell. The best riding boots are made by Ralph Lauren and Church’s, which told me its uppers are roomier than average. When Spring shipments arrive in stores in February and March, Ralph Lauren will have an abundance of riding boots, which certainly have room for bigger calves.

I called Florinka Pesenti, who works for Tod’s, the luxury shoe company. She suggested the option of having your boots stretched. Shoe Service Plus (212-262-4823), which has many fashionable customers, can stretch boots as much as two inches at the calf. Erich Lutz, the manager at the Christian Louboutin boutique on the Upper East Side, also suggested the stretching at Shoe Service Plus, where the procedure costs about $30. I also recommend Top Service, a small shop at 845 Seventh Avenue (212-765-3190) — there, a stretch costs about $10. If money is no object in your quest, Manolo Blahnik can custom make its signature boots to perfectly fit your calves.

One final bit of advice: Judging by the pre-fall shows I saw a few weeks ago, fantastic slouchy boots that fall slightly below the calf are on their way back. Arrivederci calf-squeezing boots! My favorite designs of this new style come from Balenciaga and Chloé. Keep your eye out for those in June. And let us know what you end up doing.

Francesca is fascinated to know that one can have one’s boots professionally stretched. If you do not live in New York, a few calls to to the shoe stores may help you find a local place to do this.

However, she is wary of this idea of the “slouchy” boots that “fall slightly below the calf.”

She warns the Big Girls that cutting off one’s leg at that point might make one’s legs look stumpy.  Obviously, each girl must try the fashions for herself; much depends on the shape and length of one’s legs, the exact style and height of the boot, and the other clothes one plans to wear with it.

All Francesca is saying is to be careful. (And to give peace a chance.)

January is my traditional No Buy month –wherein I don’t buy anything, ANYTHING other than food and the bare necessities for human survival– I’ve been haunted by the memory of wonderful shoes and objets that I failed to buy. Of all these, the one I most regret not buying was a tiny figural brooch in the shape of a goat, at some antique shop outside Oklahoma City. It had ruby eyes and was –not unlike myself– equal parts fabulous and evil.  With than in mind…

 Francesca and Plumcake want to know:

What is the one delicious goody you regret NOT buying?

So much superfantastic activity in the Fatosphere! The New York Times article garnered much attention. Here, via the Fat-Blogger par excellence, Kate Harding, is the fascinating TV spot featuring 2 of our Blogging Sisters! See how beautiful and articulate they are!

The F-Word

Big Fat Deal

And here is the Kate Harding post where you can join in a discussion. Francesca bows down on her knees to the Kate Harding!

And here is the supplemental video, which was not aired on TV. You must watch this supplement!

And now for Francesca’s commentary:

1. Here you have two Fat Bloggers vs. The Wicked Witch of the West, Meme Roth of the National Action Against Obesity. (Francesca feels the doctor was pretty neutral.)
The Fat Bloggers did a great job of staying “on message,” their 2 messages being:

a) You cannot assume that because someone is fat they are necessarily unhealthy and

b) Being fat does not mean that a person isn’t worthy of respect, equal pay, etc.

Notice that at no time during the on-air segment did Meme Roth or the doctor acknowledge that fat people are human beings worthy of respect. Francesca understands the reasons they think the country would be healthier if everyone stopped gaining weight, but she is PO’ed that they couldn’t even bring themselves to say ” . . . that having been said, it is inappropriate and rude to make fun of fat people. Fat people are, indeed, human beings - we just think they have a problem to work on.” Were they, too, just trying to stay on-message? Or do they think that being fat is a legitimate reason to throw garbage at someone (literally)? See the supplemental video to find out!

2. Francesca feels that Roth does have one point, about which Rachel and Monique were not quite intellectually honest: the fact that, for example, Rachel does not currently have diabetes, high blood pressure, or high cholesterol does not mean that being fat is perfectly healthy for her. Type-2 diabetes often does not set in until a person is in her 40’s or 50’s, and so it could be that Rachel will, indeed, someday get diabetes — and that her risk is higher because she is fat. The anti-fat folks are correct that we aren’t just talking about people’s current health but their long-term chances for remaining healthy as long as possible.

That having been said, in her introduction Rachel explained that for her, staying at a “healthy” weight involved starving herself, and that the dieting, for her, led to malnutrition, cessation of her menses, and severe depression with suicidal thoughts.

Frankly, Francesca believes, for all the dangers associated with diabetes, that malnutrition and suicidal thoughts are much, much worse. If Francesca had to choose between the two, she would choose the diabetes.

3. All that having been said, Francesca wonders how long a pole someone must have up their you-know-what to decide to devote her life to running an anti-obesity organization. I mean, seriously. To crusade against something like, say, smoking I do understand, because making smoking less socially acceptable has indeed led to a decrease in smoking in this country. I also could understand if the organization were called National Action for Nutrition and Fitness or National Action for Weight Education, because who could argue with either of those? But being “against obesity” does not make anyone lose weight. Telling Americans that being fat is bad, and that all those increasingly-fat people are expensive and are ruining America, does not help anything. Because, guess what? People get fat for a whole lot of reasons much more complicated than, say, the decision to start smoking. No one becomes fat because their friends say it’s cool. No one becomes fat in order to fit in. And no one stays fat because they are “addicted” to it. You can’t stop eating cold turkey. (I mean, you can stop eating turkey if you want, hot or cold, but you can’t stop eating everything altogether. Hah! Francesca jokes!)

You have to be a very angry, un-compassionate person to spend hours every day being anti-obesity. And, guess what? Being angry and lacking compassion do not help America.

Francesca hath spoken!

4. Gotta love that line “we’ll hear what these men think about their wives.” As if feeling anything but love and pride in your wife is surprising and news-worthy if she’s fat. Give Francesca a break. So much about our society is warped and depressing.

But, things can change. Once again, congratulations to our now-famous blogging superstars!

Francesca is feeling down in the dumps. The weather is, for lack of a better description, yucky, and she is inside, alone at home with her computer and her plants, feeling very blah.

But not to worry, the feeling is nothing that a little retail therapy cannot fix!

Here we have a very sweet cocktail dress with hand-beaded lace from Sydney’s Closet:

And here is a beautiful taffeta party dress from Saks Fifth Avenue. It does not work for Francesca’s particular body shape, but it might be darling on yours. And Francesca enjoys looking at it because it is so very pretty:

And, thinking ahead to spring, and colors, and every-day wear, Francesca is eyeing this feminine and affordable outfit from Silhouettes:

Ah, Francesca feels better already!

xoxo

“I don’t try things, I just do them”

Thus spake Tura Satana, better known as the murderous Varla in Russ Meyer’s seminal sexploitation flick “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!”

Your mission this week is to find your inner bad girl. I don’t mean the silly Cameron Tuttle books that confuse being bad with being easy. I mean dig deep down and find that woman who knows her own mind and will give you a piece of it free of charge if you dare to get between her and her dream (or her hot rod).

Tura Satana is mine…now you have to figure yours.

Yes, folks, it’s time for another round of Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness! Last time, you guys completely outdid yourselves. Let’s see how you do this time.

For those of you new to the space, here’s how it works: I post a picture, you reply to this post with your funniest caption for the pic, and next saturday, I announce a winner. So here we go!

Ready…set…snark!

Can I talk to you, Queen Latifah? Just for a second over here? Thanks.

Jenny Craig? Really? Do you remotely need them? I completely understand how getting your name on their spokespuppet list is doing them a world and a half of good, but what about you? What about your legions of fans who adore your curves and your confidence in said curves?

I’m glad you’ve decided to focus your message on healthy living rather than straight up weight loss, but I can’t help thinking there are better ways of getting that message across than signing on to advertise a company that makes millions every year off of sending out the punishing message that fat is automatically ugly and any woman who is fat is simply lazy and gluttonous…and needs to spend hundreds of dollars every single month on specially made, pre-packaged foods if she’s going to learn to be thin.

Eating healthy foods and getting adequate exercise are excellent goals we all should be trying to meet more often in our lives, but couldn’t you have put out an exercise DVD? Written a book of your favorite healthy recipes? Designed a line of gym clothes? Gone on Oprah to talk about keeping fit and strong regardless of size? Any of these or a dozen other ideas would have gotten the concept out there without making women feel bad about their bodies. Jenny Craig exists to make us feel inadequate. If we already love our bodies, we don’t need Jenny Craig to fix them, after all.

Don’t get me wrong, Queen, I’m still going to love a lot about you. You’re a beautiful woman with a boatload of talent. But every time I see you in a Jenny Craig commercial, it’s going to make me sad. What I always loved most about you was your ability to show us all how to be comfortable in our own skins. You led by example, proving by your very existance that bountiful is beautiful, that size doesn’t define attractiveness, and that confidence is the best aphrodisiac.

I just wish you hadn’t made a deal with this particular devil, even in the excellent name of healthy living.

Francesca loves these basic brown boots, especially the slightly forgiving heels which are somewhat more solid than the stilettos. And the luscious brown leather makes these a comfortable and high-quality staple. Mmmm Mmmm.

They are by Stuart Weitzman (of course!) and are called “Mars.”

Available here and here.

Happy weekend!

xoxo,

Francesca

Friends, I am concerned. There has been a rash –and I’m not sure I don’t mean that literally– of inappropriate legging abuse. I believe in the early days of this blog I went on record as being a bit of a legging apologist, with the caveat that leggings are sui generis and not to be confused with tights or, even worse, pants.

So it is with heavy heart I report to you that I have seen no fewer than four big girls wearing butt-grazing “big shirts” and leggings in professional situations. There is a time and a place for a big sequins shirt and leggings sans pants. That time is 1972 and that place is the soundstage of Liza Minnelli’s groundbreaking musical spectacular “Liza With a Z” choreographed by one Mister Bob Fosse.

See, the thing about leggings as a stand-alone garment is that they reveal a bit more feminine mystery than I (and therefore all sensible people everywhere) think strictly appropriate. There are certain nooks and crannies that –unless you happen to be a Thomas’ English muffin or that weird butt-implant chick married to Ice T– should be, in the name of decency if not medical science, be shrouded in mystery.

Plus there’s the cellulite issue. I’ve got it. Most big girls do. Now, I don’t stare into the mirror above my bed and wail into the lonesome darkness about it, but I’m not especially keen to show the general public exactly how closely the back of my thighs resemble the latest topographical relief map of northern Scotland.

To review: Don’t take fashion advice from a woman whose lasting contribution to society was the spider lash and remember that no matter how ultrafab you truly truly are, none of us want to see your English muffin at the grocery store.

Francesca tries to comport herself at all times as a lady, and believes that the desire for revenge is best overcome.

However, as a motivation for fictional characters it is satisfying indeed!

In honor of the release of the movie version of Sweeney Todd, Francesca recommends books and DVDs which show that indeed, revenge is best served cold.

First and best of all is the superfantastic The Count of Monte Cristo. The book version is available here, but Francesca must say that she somewhat prefers the movie version (sacriligious, I know). Either way, remember never to put your best friend in jail in order to save your reputation or to steal his girlfriend. You never know where that sort of thing might lead . . . .

Before you go to see Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd, you might want to watch the Broadway version. Angela Lansbury is superfantastic!

One of Francesca’s favorite movies of all time: The First Wives Club. What could be better than a film that brings together Bette Midler, Diane Keaton, and Goldie Hawn? They are wonderful! Francesca has watched this movie many times and laughs every time. As Ivana Trump says in her cameo: Remember girls, don’t get mad. Get everything.

 Finally, Francesca understands that the motivations of the Hamlet are fuzzy and oft-debated, but in essence here we have the somewhat wishy-washy Hamlet burdened with the responsibility of exacting revenge against his uncle, for killing his father. Will he do it? Will he do it? Will he do it? Read to find out . . . here is the “feel self-righteous” version, and here is the “I want to read Shakespeare, but I don’t want to break my teeth”  version. And here is a movie version for the real cheaters. (Francesca jokes! Plays are meant to be watched!)

Happy reading and happy watching!

xoxo,

Francesca