Plus size models and actresses are rarely portrayed as particularly sexy. We are allowed to be pretty and funny, but we can’t be hot. When we are permitted to be hot, it’s often over-the-top slutty (are we over the miles of cleavage plopped and plattered into a corset yet?) or desperate. In that vein
Francesca and Plumcake want to know:
What will you do in 2008 to bring the real sexy back?
I’m a big proponent that “less (flesh exposed) is more(sexy).” I realize to the “over-hormoned” between the ages of 15 and 30, seeing everything (and not having to use any imagination) may be gratifying, but I think a little mystery goes a very long way to restoring the brain titillation that is the nexus of what sexiness is. And the Rx for being mysterious is:
Clothing that fits properly (meaning there is some ease, people – being able to move is sexy – looking like something that came from a butcher shop is NOT); Covers the important bits, reveals your shape in a tasteful manner (slinky is good; tight spandex is not);
Worn with a) a spirit of confidence and b) good foundation garments and c) a bit of pizazz.
Let’s all resolve to upgrade this year –
Comment by Toby Wollin — January 2, 2008 @ 3:05 pm
Sexy is being subtle and confident. Though I’m unhappy about weight gain (mostly because I realize that’s made me unhealthy), I am also happy to see that– a bigger girl can be the best fuckin’ dressed girl in the room.
Last night I went to a “Black Tie” themed dance night– only to find out a gentleman in the room couldn’t keep his eyes off of me. Because I was pretty, confident, smiling, and fantastically accessorized.
So, my efforts to “bring sexy back” will be a continuation of that– wearing clothing that are flattering and classic, knowing what works best on my body, and feel utterly confident in doing so.
Comment by Ashe Mischief — January 2, 2008 @ 3:07 pm
Personally, I think being funny *is* sexy.
Comment by Cat — January 2, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
My husband says the sexiest thing a woman can wear is a smile.
Comment by Margo — January 2, 2008 @ 3:53 pm
Well, a combination of those georgeous piped pumps (Clarissa, Tue, Jan1) and a pose similar to the previous post (many men have told me there’s nothing sexier than a woman playing the cello) aught to bring some sexy back.
My friend has convinced me to join her in pole-dancing fitness classes. I met the instructor, and she’s fabulous. She’s really encouraging of all shapes, sizes, and abilities, and focuses on fitness, flexability, and above all, confidence.
Comment by Leah — January 2, 2008 @ 5:01 pm
Personally, I wish the whole world would embrace the reality that women who are intelligent, informed, confident and happy are also sexy in the very truest way, no matter what their age, size, race or economic status. I’m so tired of overly tan skinny blondes w/ fake breasts and lips being a constant media presence; I’m equally tired of everyone else constantly defending their own sexiness. Let’s all stop trying so hard to prove what or who we are, and accept ourselves with confidence and without apology!
Comment by rosarita — January 2, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
I will continue to bring the sexy back by continuing to teach my dance students that they are all gorgeous, amazing women. And by continuing to dress with confidence, wonderful accessories and (above all) superfantastic shoes. Sexy is not about boobs, butt or any of that, sexy is about knowing one is THE most gorgeous woman in the room and radiating that confidence to all those around.
Comment by Babs — January 2, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
I think being yourself, authentically and truly yourself, is dead sexy.
Oh, and a pair of
these from Stuart Weitzman. (These are so so sexy that when I showed them on my blog, somebody accused me of recommending “slut shoes.” So either they are sexy or whoever wrote that is way weird. Or, um both.)
Comment by Chaser — January 2, 2008 @ 5:57 pm
Amyl nitrite. One size fits all.
Comment by Sarah — January 2, 2008 @ 6:08 pm
I am making a conscious effort to find new and interesting tops, so as not to be one of those designy people with a wardrobe of all black or, when things get wild, black and denim. I resolve to not live in flip-flops for the many warm months of the year. I will not take the easy path to hotness via display of the glorious boobage, choosing instead to revel in being differently, outrageously fabulous.
Comment by Sara — January 2, 2008 @ 6:20 pm
Drink more wine. I swear, I haven’t been laid properly since 2006. I blame the three kids under five, so drastic action is required. Thank goodness and the OB for the tubal. Don’t try this at home. YMMV. TMI. Best and love.
Comment by slownews — January 2, 2008 @ 10:47 pm
just gonna keep on being me – I’m sexy enough to make me happy and my DH happy and still get the occasional glance from strangers…
Comment by Canadian Chick — January 2, 2008 @ 10:53 pm
I think confidence and a pleasant presence (being happy / content on some level) are among the most important attributes of a sexy woman. I’ll never understand the “appeal” of malnourished, unhappy, depressed-looking models in today’s magazines.
Comment by Gauss — January 3, 2008 @ 1:36 am
I’m into my third belly dancing lesson, its helping my posture and making me more aware of my own movements. I’m definitely feeling that sexy’s back.
Comment by shiloh — January 3, 2008 @ 8:59 am
on a side note, don’t u think Sarah Ramirez is hot, hot hot! and she is referred to as hot in Grey’s anatomy. love her!
and for the real question – sexy is in the shoes!
Comment by almostgrownup — January 3, 2008 @ 11:27 am
Sexy isn’t a piece of clothing or how much skin you’re showing. It’s confidence. It’s a certainty about who you are and what you’re doing. And yes, laughter is sexy. Not going ‘tee hee’ at something you think you’re supposed to find funny, but actual belly laughs that come from genuine amusement.
Any woman who is confident enough to wear what she truly pleases, express her opinions without fear or favor, and laugh from her soul is sexy.
Comment by Twistie — January 3, 2008 @ 1:45 pm
It’s all about the attitude! Self-confidence is the number one thing (but a really good pair of butt-flattering jeans certainly won’t hurt!)
Comment by Chloe — January 3, 2008 @ 2:24 pm
I’m going to resolve to make my sweetie feel super sexy every day, because he deserves it and I’m quite sure he’ll return the favor.
I also agree about the laughter! I know a guy who says he expects a woman with a big laugh to be enthusiastic and unrestrained in bed, and the “tee hee” girls to be self-conscious and tentative. Enthusiasm is always sexy!
Comment by Tachina — January 3, 2008 @ 3:07 pm
be myself
Comment by Synnamin — January 3, 2008 @ 11:34 pm
I love the bumper sticker I saw while in Manhattan while visiting over Christmas.
“I’m fat. You’re ugly. I can go on a diet.” So I focus on my pretty face and figure I can get the rest of my body in shape…tomorrow.
Comment by Kirsten — January 4, 2008 @ 12:17 am
How to bring the sexy? Wear a good bra! Even if it doesn’t show (which it really shouldn’t), it makes such a difference.
Comment by The Dot — January 4, 2008 @ 8:46 pm
What Twistie said. Confidence IS sexy.
Comment by Daniela — January 5, 2008 @ 11:59 am
Tee Hee? Who goes tee hee?
Comment by Lora — January 6, 2008 @ 6:58 am
I did not know Kate Dillon, Queen Latifah, and Delta Burke were not sexy. I will continue to revel in my ignorance.
I wrote a po-em on Manolo’s blog. I thought since it also might be appropriate to topic, in tribute to Stuart Weitzman and also Sigerson Morrison, that I would bring it over (in response to Phalene being anti-pointy shoe):
Well as a child, my feet grew long
(the height maxed as the legs grew strong)
and had to wear the longest boot –
my shoes were never, never cute
I wept until my mother said
“Don’t look down, dear, just look ahead
Come see the films, for you there’s news —
the glamour girls wear pointy shoes!
For those of us with skinny feet
who don’t in rounded toe look sweet
ward off boys timid, them reproach —
only brave boys will dare approach!
So for those who walk a shorter mile
It’s fine that you don’t like our style
You keep toes rounded, square and twee –
That’s just more pointy shoes for me.
Comment by littlem — January 7, 2008 @ 6:08 pm
My sexy is equal parts whip-smart, tarty, and ingenue. Add to that some really boss lingerie under my fairly conservative duds, and I’m pretty much unstoppable.
Comment by Rubiatonta — January 8, 2008 @ 8:09 pm
I had a dream the other night about my long-time amour, who I unfortunately walked out on 20 years ago. (I wanted to marry her, and she didn’t want to settle down.) She battled a weight problem constantly, but I thought she was beautiful and incredibly sexy. I’ve been married for 17 years to a skinny, beautiful, smart woman who bore our perfect daughter, but I still miss my once-amour’s lovely curves and incredible intelligence and talent…
Just a Man
Comment by Modesto — January 10, 2008 @ 9:47 pm