Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness
By TwistieYes, folks, it’s time for another round of Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness! Last time, you guys completely outdid yourselves. Let’s see how you do this time.
For those of you new to the space, here’s how it works: I post a picture, you reply to this post with your funniest caption for the pic, and next saturday, I announce a winner. So here we go!
Ready…set…snark!
January 27th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
“And now, for the discriminating zombie, we have our ‘Pattern Madness’ line! Now you too can distract your victims with eye-bleeding patterns while you feast on their brains!”
January 27th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
“They can make me wear it, but they can’t make me like it!”
January 27th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Amanda declares her ez screw on/off head the accessory she loves the most.
January 27th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
“Love doing the Sunday crossword? Why not wear display your spelling chops proudly and wear it? What does that spell? Six across, S-T-Y-L-I-S-H!”
January 27th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
“I’m… too sexy for this…tablecloth! What rhymes with tablecloth?!?!?!”
January 27th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Checks *can* work with plaid, it’s true, but visible titties? . . . NEVER!!!
January 27th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Who needs hips when you have giant pockets to fake them with?
January 27th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
What the most discriminating undead will be wearing this spring!
January 27th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
1. The only problem with Senior Year Home Ec sewing classes was that they actually expected you to wear the clothes you made in order to pass. This earned it the name Home Yeccchhh!
2. Damn that salesgirl! She said these shoes would be perfect with this outfit.
3. Maybe if I can get my nipples stick out far enough, no one will notice the rest of this get up.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Welcome to Fashion week at the Salvation Army Thrift Store!
January 27th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Clarice was so mesmerized by the pattern of her skirt that she walked right into a brick wall, giving herself two black eyes and a fat lip.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Zombie Checklist:
Blank stare? Check.
Lumbering gait? Check.
Atrophied fashion sense? Check.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
The newest resort wear line from Prada: the “My Apartment Was On Fire When I Got Dressed This Morning” collection, available in stores now!!!
January 28th, 2008 at 12:12 am
Ashley used Home Ec class to punish her mother for not taking her to Hot Topic.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:22 am
Cue the smaltzy music… Scene bakery… Announcer speaks… “My friends, The results of carb deprivation can be devasting. Sunken eyes, protruding Jolie lips, inability to dress oneself. If you know of anyone like this, please, immediately take them to your nearest bakery or Italian restaraunt. Or send a check to the Carb Deprivation Council (CDC)…Your donation could save a model or celebrity. Only you can help. Won’t you?” Fade into a screen filled with the blacken hollow eye……..
January 28th, 2008 at 12:52 am
It wasn’t so much the horrific outfit, it wasn’t so much the shoes that pinched and didn’t go with anything else, it wasn’t even the mandatory nipple icing; what really pissed Natalia off was the fact that the designer had took her seriously when her response to his demands she lose more weight was “Well then cut off my head before you weigh me and then slap it back on for the runway!”
January 28th, 2008 at 2:01 am
What do you mean you didn’t notice my tights! They are what tie the outfit together!
January 28th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Maybe if I hadn’t spent $3000 on this skirt, I could have afforded a bra.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Despite all her efforts, Camilla’s nipples insisted on being perky.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Dang! I hate it when my plaids don’t match.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Glenda was furious when they told her she had to use the “Big Girl Arrow.”
January 28th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
When Andrea looked up fierce in the dictionary she could not decide whether to go “violently hostile” or “extremely vexed” so she did both.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Next up from George Romero….Picnic of the Dead!
January 28th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Sleep Deprived Farm Chic is the new Heroin Chic!
January 28th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
The next person to say, “Cheer up, it could be worse!” gets it in the fucking neck.
January 28th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
This is the last time I let a colorblind magpie style my clothes, and a racoon do my makeup.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
“My designer went to Fashion Week and all I got was this lousy … this lousy … okay, what the hell AM I wearing here? Man, I gotta get off the smack.”
January 29th, 2008 at 5:17 am
They all thought she was upset about the clothing, but what they didn’t know was that as soon as the dresser removed the neckcloth, her head fell off.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Contrary to my nipples, me so sad.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Unfortunately, Wal-Mart was all out of plaid bras.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Ludmillia’s plan for male mind control:
Look into my eyes, looook into my eyyeeees….
No?
Look at my skirt, loooook at my skiiiiiirt….
Still no?
See through my blouse, seeeeeee through my blooooouse….
Yes!
January 30th, 2008 at 1:40 am
Miss Scarlett was told to leave her mothers fine linens alone after she had destoyed the lovely velvet drapes. Then she whacked her sister to make sure she wouldn’t be at all pretty when Mr. Kennedy came calling.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Mad for plaid! That explains the angry face.
January 30th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Unfortunately Maria ran out of the Von Trapp’s curtains and had to fashion a top from an Italian tablecloth. Lisette decided to glower instead of singing.
February 1st, 2008 at 4:46 am
“When I find out who stole my laxatives!!”