Comments on: The Words of Camryn Manheim: Fat or Fault? http://manolobig.com/2008/02/13/the-words-of-camryn-manheim-fat-or-fault/ Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman. Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:48:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: The Manolo Week in Review » Manolo's Shoe Blog http://manolobig.com/2008/02/13/the-words-of-camryn-manheim-fat-or-fault/#comment-8032 The Manolo Week in Review » Manolo's Shoe Blog Sun, 17 Feb 2008 16:17:39 +0000 http://manolobig.com/2008/02/13/the-words-of-camryn-manheim-fat-or-fault/#comment-8032 [...] Francesca… On the other hand, there’s no denying that confidence, talent, and generosity of spirit go a long way, and that sometimes, the reasons people deny us what we want are not about our fat. [...] […] Francesca… On the other hand, there’s no denying that confidence, talent, and generosity of spirit go a long way, and that sometimes, the reasons people deny us what we want are not about our fat. […]

]]> By: sara http://manolobig.com/2008/02/13/the-words-of-camryn-manheim-fat-or-fault/#comment-7866 sara Thu, 14 Feb 2008 05:00:08 +0000 http://manolobig.com/2008/02/13/the-words-of-camryn-manheim-fat-or-fault/#comment-7866 Twistie, thank you so much for passing on that mantra. You can really apply that to all kinds of things - appearance, personality, talent, professionalism....I could go on and on. And, Miss Francesca, thank you so much for bringing this book back to the fresh part of my brain - amazing how different it strikes me reading it now as opposed to when I first got it a few years ago! Twistie, thank you so much for passing on that mantra. You can really apply that to all kinds of things - appearance, personality, talent, professionalism….I could go on and on.

And, Miss Francesca, thank you so much for bringing this book back to the fresh part of my brain - amazing how different it strikes me reading it now as opposed to when I first got it a few years ago!

]]> By: Twistie http://manolobig.com/2008/02/13/the-words-of-camryn-manheim-fat-or-fault/#comment-7834 Twistie Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:40:22 +0000 http://manolobig.com/2008/02/13/the-words-of-camryn-manheim-fat-or-fault/#comment-7834 I think this question was well summed up by - of all people! - a lifestyle coach Tim Gunn sent a woman to on his makeover show. The coach told the woman to repeat the mantra 'I cannot control how I am perceived; I can only control how I am presented.' You're right, Francesca, that there is actual prejudice out there and everything is not your fault whether you're fat or not. On the other hand, assuming that others will dislike us because of our fat, our hair color, our clothes or any other single factor may protect us from recognizing our faults, but it doesn't allow us to shine in ways that might just change someone's mind. If we take control of how we present ourselves to the world, we can change perception...among those who are open to change in the first place. But using fat or any other single physical attribute as an excuse for why people don't pick you isn't helping the cause. It just allows others to point to you as a reason their prejudices are correct. Frankly, I find it amusing how few people notice either the fact that I'm short or the fact that I'm fat on a first meeting. They're too busy seeing the energy and humor and quirkiness I project to realize the details of how I look. It's purely a matter of how I choose to present myself, and it works surprisingly well. I think this question was well summed up by - of all people! - a lifestyle coach Tim Gunn sent a woman to on his makeover show. The coach told the woman to repeat the mantra ‘I cannot control how I am perceived; I can only control how I am presented.’

You’re right, Francesca, that there is actual prejudice out there and everything is not your fault whether you’re fat or not. On the other hand, assuming that others will dislike us because of our fat, our hair color, our clothes or any other single factor may protect us from recognizing our faults, but it doesn’t allow us to shine in ways that might just change someone’s mind.

If we take control of how we present ourselves to the world, we can change perception…among those who are open to change in the first place. But using fat or any other single physical attribute as an excuse for why people don’t pick you isn’t helping the cause. It just allows others to point to you as a reason their prejudices are correct.

Frankly, I find it amusing how few people notice either the fact that I’m short or the fact that I’m fat on a first meeting. They’re too busy seeing the energy and humor and quirkiness I project to realize the details of how I look. It’s purely a matter of how I choose to present myself, and it works surprisingly well.

]]> By: Kai Jones http://manolobig.com/2008/02/13/the-words-of-camryn-manheim-fat-or-fault/#comment-7830 Kai Jones Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:21:01 +0000 http://manolobig.com/2008/02/13/the-words-of-camryn-manheim-fat-or-fault/#comment-7830 The advantage to thinking about rejection in terms of what we could change is, of course, that we then have the ability to change. If we think about rejection only in terms of other people's prejudices, we are at their mercy, powerless to effect a different outcome. This is rarely the case (just as it is rarely entirely within our power to enforce a desired outcome). Focusing on our opportunities for action and change is an optimistic outlook and more likely to lead to contentment. The advantage to thinking about rejection in terms of what we could change is, of course, that we then have the ability to change. If we think about rejection only in terms of other people’s prejudices, we are at their mercy, powerless to effect a different outcome. This is rarely the case (just as it is rarely entirely within our power to enforce a desired outcome).

Focusing on our opportunities for action and change is an optimistic outlook and more likely to lead to contentment.

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