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Well FINE. HAVE Your Stupid Patterned Dress. | Manolo for the Big Girl

Well FINE. HAVE Your Stupid Patterned Dress.

So remember how I was all “look at this bad dress” and YOU were all “But I LOVE that dress” and I was all “Y’all clearly need to stop breaking into high school biology labs and drinking the stuff they keep those dead frogs in ” except I didn’t really say that because a) I love you guys and b) I was drunk?

Good times.

Anyhoodle, HERE is a dress from Lane Bryant not entirely dissimilar to the dress I posted earlier as leading to nothing but heartache, but because of the black banding it gives the eyes a chance to rest and a flattering line to follow.

So, to review: drinking formaldehyde is (still) bad, so is the combination of big print+blousy+no break for the eye, and Plumcake –contrary to a significant betting pool established against her– has still not posted drunk. Be sure to use the link on the side of the page to go to Lane Bryant and get an additional 15% off your order. We love to love you, baby.

Good:

Lane Bryant Patterned Keyhole Dress

Lay off the dead frog water:

I still hate this dress

12 Responses to “Well FINE. HAVE Your Stupid Patterned Dress.”

  1. Jennie March 13, 2008 at 3:16 pm #

    Damn! I love frog water, it gives such a nice buzz right before you die… Plummy! We love you too! Now I agree with you. Break for the eyes yes! Big geometric prints yes, big flower prints must be judged one at a time (for the most part, just say nooooo!) OK, now to sober up…..

  2. marjorie March 13, 2008 at 4:30 pm #

    i am wearing the frog water garment RIGHT NOW. no really, I AM! and i bought it because i saw it on your site and i loved it and NYAH NYAH NYAH SO THERE. FROG WATER! FROG WATER! (jeez, i do sound like i’m tripping.)

    and is it better or worse that the bright yellow of the reviled pic is actually gold?

    i don’t care. I LOVE IT. the other dress is ok…but again, less hip, without the blouson sleeves and bite-me big print. FROG WATER! FROG WATER!

  3. HurricaneDeck March 13, 2008 at 5:47 pm #

    Plumcake, I so should have defended you when I had the chance… and now you have given me a second chance…

    That grey and yellow dress can’t possibly do anything flattering for anyone – come on! Who has the pallor that can get away with yellow, much less that nasty funeral hearse grey that goes with it??!! Not to mention the cut, and that pathetic little drawsting that for the life of me I can’t figure out if it would hit my belly button or just below the boobs.

    Bless you for posting a flattering dress!

  4. bluehammer March 13, 2008 at 6:15 pm #

    Marjorie, I love your reaction and I laughed out loud when I read it. Wherever you are getting that frog water, I gotta get me some. Seems to me like it must be an unusually high grade. Wish we could see you in the dress.

  5. raincoaster March 13, 2008 at 6:44 pm #

    I think I need a double of that frog water, particularly if I have to look at someone wearing that horrific print. On this monitor it looks rather like Charlie Brown in a blender.

  6. JaneC March 13, 2008 at 9:55 pm #

    I actually bought a dress almost identical to the one in the top picture just last week. Mine has short sleeves and is black, royal blue and white, but has the same black banding and round neckline.

  7. katana March 13, 2008 at 10:57 pm #

    Now I know why the pink dress I so love but hate on me has a problem. I shall simply sew on a black sash and whatnot. Yay!

  8. AmazonAngelle March 14, 2008 at 1:09 am #

    Is it at all sad that I looked past the dress and am currently trying to come with a cocktail that I shall dub “Frog Water”?

  9. teteatete March 14, 2008 at 10:47 am #

    *gigglesnort*– “Charlie Brown in a blender”

  10. Kimocean March 16, 2008 at 4:17 am #

    I don’t know, I’m kind of with Marjorie on this one. I think the grey and gold dress has a much hipper shape and if the drawstring hits right under the bust, it could totally be flattering. I’m bored of the black banded dresses–they’ve been everywhere for the last few years. I think they draw the eye too strongly and are just a big old bit of bossy. Guess maybe I’ve been hitting the frog water too!

  11. Joi March 25, 2008 at 11:37 am #

    I have the “good” Lane Bryant dress and wore it to church on Easter Sunday and got a few gasps of “Gorgeous!”, “You look so cute!”, and “Gee, aren’t you pretty!” I taught Sunday school to the 3 and 4 year-olds and the pastor’s 3 year-old son tried to reach down the modest ( guess not modest enough!) key hole, but whatever. It’s still a good dress.

    And I think any reasonable Frog Water cockatail ought to include a spalsh of Midori. If I remember correctly from my drinking days, it’s a lovely green and so sticky and sweet that it makes me think of frogginess.

  12. geoff daum August 6, 2008 at 10:03 am #

    Yep – I would agree with that.. Thanks for the line.