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If You MUST Make Out with Your Cousin, at Least Make Sure He’s the Cute One. | Manolo for the Big Girl

If You MUST Make Out with Your Cousin, at Least Make Sure He’s the Cute One.

Look, I’m not advocating the wearing of Crocs. They are more or less an abomination unto to the Lord (and Taylor) and I have yet to be able to look at a pair of those horrendous plastic clogs without thinking the words “foot soup.” However, sometimes a girl just needs…and it pains me to say it…inexpensive, casual, comfortable shoes.

Case in point. One of my gentleman callers is an Englishman and like all Englishmen, he has a thing for “walking.” It’s the national sickness. I have had the good fortune to know every manner of Englishman from the proverbial Shropshire lad to the Dean of Canterbury Cathedral and I’ve yet to meet a native of that green and pleasant land whose soul doesn’t simply yearn to be ankle deep in grass and mud, tromping through a stranger’s sheep pasture in the rain.

Anyhoodle, the current Englishman invited me on a walking expedition wherein we would start at the bottom of a large rock and proceed to walk UP to the top of the damn thing and then after “admiring the view” (because apparently he doesn’t HAVE Google Image Search on his computer) walk right back down again. I explained to him that I wasn’t sure I had the right shoes for the deal and he just advised me to wear something with a rubber sole.

I opened my oven (I’m out of closet space, don’t judge me) and after a long pause asked “….so the Diors then?”

We did not go for that walk.

Here are the moderately inoffensive, lesser of many many evils Celeste Canvas Crocs, pointed out to me by my friend Harridan P.

I suppose these are the ones to wear if you MUST (see headline) wear Crocs. They are inexpensive and as a note of practicality, might be a good shoe to have in your emergency car kit in case you break down in the middle of the night wearing your Miu Miu teacups (for which I would murder you, your relations and your third grade math teacher) and have to hoof it to the nearest gas station.

Lord help me. Crocs.

and now for a little palate cleansing:

The aforementioned whimsical (though slightly less practical) Miu Miu Teacups, available for pre-order at Saks.
From Miuccia Prada, La Maestra di Tutti Maestriteacups11.jpg

mmm, glamurderous.

15 Responses to “If You MUST Make Out with Your Cousin, at Least Make Sure He’s the Cute One.”

  1. Lia March 31, 2008 at 3:05 pm #

    I was just making this case the other day, but I have to say, I think the croc’s Alice Mary Janes are the cutest thing they make by far. You get a cute ballet flat mary jane in the comfy ridiculous rubber plastic stuff, but it doesn’t look like you should be on a boat or gardening. The celestes, to me, look not as crocs like as the normal crocs, but still kinda weird looking, and like you should be on a boat. Just consider the alice. =]

  2. Melissa B. March 31, 2008 at 3:12 pm #

    I agree, Plumcake — this “walking” thing is indeed a peculiar English national illness. But one does not have to wear Crocs in order to survive here! For anyone looking for a comfortable shoe (genuinely comfortable with actual arch support, not “cheaply made squashy plastic” comfortable), I really, really recommend Eccos. My Ecco flats are by far the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever owned; I can walk for hours in them without feeling any pain in my feet.

  3. unred March 31, 2008 at 3:14 pm #

    how can you be okay with wearing crocs but NOT flip flops? maybe you just hate toes?

  4. Plumcake March 31, 2008 at 3:18 pm #

    I’m not ADVOCATING the wearing of Crocs, I’m just saying if you INSIST on wearing them that these are less of an assault on the old eye b’s than the traditional foot soup clogs.

  5. Alix March 31, 2008 at 6:26 pm #

    I love the feel of Crocs, but have never even remotely liked the clogs. I do have a pair of the slides, which I don’t find any more or less offensive than most any other slide (they are almost universally ugly ala flip flops, IMO). They just have so many styles, some where you don’t even see the plastic, that I kinda boggle when they’re summarily written off. (Unless you can get away with always wearing gorgeous shoes and never walk anywhere, or live near a beach, that is. ;)

  6. La Petite Acadienne March 31, 2008 at 6:40 pm #

    You could just get a pair of waterproof hiking boots. You’ll have them forever, and won’t risk twisting your ankle when walking up (and especially back down!) the rocks.

  7. crewbie March 31, 2008 at 7:02 pm #

    Crocs do have some excellent uses (on the docks and in rowing shells–they’re waterproof and exceptionally lightweight, which is exactly what one needs), but if you’re looking for good, sturdy walking shoes, try Keens! They’re sturdy and great quality without looking TOO clunky, and are super comfortable. I wore mine all around Germany for two weeks without even having to break them in.

  8. Chaser March 31, 2008 at 8:30 pm #

    Crocs=for garden.

  9. Emma March 31, 2008 at 9:16 pm #

    If you want sturdy comfy shoes for tramping around in the outdoors, I highly recommend getting a pair of Harley Davidson brand boots. (Yes, they make shoes. Really darned comfortable shoes. Sure they have a couple of designs that have no place outside strip joints and biker bars, but their boots are wonderful.) I swear by my Harleys. Have two pairs that have both lasted for quite a few years, a few hunting trips, and some truly awful New England weather. (Lace up combat style boots for the really awful weather, and three inch heels with slight platforms that feel like walking on air and can handle pretty much anything short of a fullout blizzard. Sadly I dont think they make either style anymore, otherwise I would recommend them specifically.) They’re a tad pricey, but totally worth it. Just need to make sure to try them on in the actual store (if you can find an outlet store, even better), because their sizing is really weird and what works with one style may not work with another. Other than that, best shoes I’ve ever owned and the only ones I’ll swear by.

    Or if you want to be really practical and not splurge on super fantastic boots, you could always go with sneakers. They’re not pretty but they still look better than anything Crocs can come up with.

  10. Peaches March 31, 2008 at 9:35 pm #

    Crocs? The last thing I need is a shoe that makes my foot look like a boat while glowing in the dark. But no judgement here…Ive got my own peculiar shoe desires.

  11. littlem March 31, 2008 at 11:55 pm #

    I have the Alice flats.

    I got compliments on them at Tanglewood last summer. And we were sitting in the shed, not on the lawn. But we still had to walk back to the car, and I was the most comfortable.

    So ha.

  12. Stella April 2, 2008 at 12:18 pm #

    Ok, while we’re on the subject, I need some comfortable shoes, and you all sound like you have good recommendations… I’m touring the Mayan ruins in Cozumel this fall – I don’t want to wear sneakers w/ socks, because in addition to looking bad and giving me ‘cankles’, it will be way to hot and humid for that. I’m morally opposed to that Croc, but it does look comfy, breatheable, reasonably flattering, and reasonably priced. I checked out Eccos at Zappos, but $100 is too expensive for shoes I’ll only wear on the occasional Mayan Ruin tour. Does anyone have any alternative suggestions, or should I just buy the damn Crocs?

  13. Melissa B. April 3, 2008 at 6:46 am #

    Stella, have you considered a sturdy walking sandal like Clarks? Clarks are my go-to sandal for hot, humid walking around, and I can usually find them at DSW for $40-50 or so. I’d say check out the department stores and discount shoe places if you really don’t like the idea of buying Crocs.

  14. Chaser April 5, 2008 at 1:55 pm #

    Having trudged through Maya ruins and worn Crocs, I wouldn’t recommend the two together. Crocs are great for the garden (I am not kidding, folks; they are cushiony and you can just hose them off), but I have found they don’t stay on well in uneven terrain and on stairs. For the ruins, I’d get myself a good pair of sneakers, put some insoles for support in there. Maybe it’s just me and my foot, but I’ve found that crocs don’t stay on all that well during rigorous walking conditions. Go for something you lace up, IOW.

  15. Quynh Anh October 22, 2008 at 5:10 am #

    Cam on nhiu nghen.