Manolo for the Big Girl

Of course, the product in question fails to explain how expanding this girl’s hip will produce the ‘eye-catching hourglass figure’ in a girl who is equally slender of bust. Alas! As a Big Girl with a Teeny Bustline, I can guarantee you that wide hips alone do not an hourglass figure make. I can also guarantee from personal experience that a great relationship does not spring from or evaporate based on any particular physical attribute. Still, it’s kind of nice to see an ad - even one so hokey and so far in the past - that supports the idea that there are times when Bigger is Better.

Of course, it doesn’t really inspire much confidence in the quality of the product that they hired Criswell to hawk it, too.

OK, Francesca has no idea how many people might show up to this thing — doesn’t England have big girls in it? I have a hard time believing that a society whose national food includes french fries, and who have such lousy weather, are all buff, but whatever — here is the deal:

This Wednesday night, at 8 pm, Francesca will be at the cocktail bar of the President Hotel in Russell Square, reading a book. If any of our readers show up, that will be amazing! You can buy Francesca a drink!

I will tell the bartender that if anyone comes asking for Francesca, to send them my way.

Or, just look for a woman sipping a cosmopolitan and reading books by British  authors, to get her into the atmosphere.

Rule Britannia, Long live the Queen, etc.

Our internet friend Avirr asks a Very Important Question about the prom dress:

Could you mention whether your examples would work on apple-shaped women, and if not, what to look for? Not that I will ever need a prom dress again, but I am trying to visualize clothes on me, and having a hard time.

Ayyy! It is indeed extremely difficult  to find prom dresses - or any dresses - for the Apple.

This is because the Empire waist is currently in vogue, and Empire waists are Not Our Friends. They are wonderful for the Pears, or for women who are a bit Racktastic up top and slim below, but for Apples . . . oy! That is all Francesca can say. Oy!

So, Francesca’s first advice for Apples is: When you see an Empire waist, hold tight to your credit card and back away, slowly.

Second: No sashes at the waist. We want to create one long line from the cleavage to the hem, or at least to the hips, yes?

And her third advice is something she has said before, and she will say it again: Princess Seams are not just our friends, they are our Fairy Godmothers. Those two precious seams down the front of your dress or shirt will help you look indeed like a beautiful, superfantastic Princess and not like the Empire-waisted pregnant whale. (Not that there is anything wrong with pregnant whales. If that is in fact what you are. In which case, Francesca wants to know: How did you learn to read? And why are you looking for a dress?)

And if there are two parallel seams in the back, even better.

Fourth is something that may or may not pertain to our dear Avirr. Francesca notes that the lumpy-squishiness of the arms is something to which many Apples are prone. We have discussed here at length the unnecessariness of covering the arms if you feel great about your arms. But every woman has something they would rather leave for private moments, and for many Apples, it is the upper arms. For this reason, the fact that strapless gowns are everywhere is even more painful than the ubiquitous Empire waist!

But do not despair, there are gowns to be had with sleeves, and — even more useful — there are the delightful little jackets and shrugs which can be mixed and matched with many styles of the strapless gowns.

Francesca hath spoken!

xoxo

I love a good sale. I also love a good piece of jewelry. Right now, I love Amazon for combining two of my favorite things by holding a huge jewelry sale. This isn’t going to last long, folks. It ends on the 24th, so hurry over if you want to take advantage of the deals.

What deals? I’m so glad you asked. Take a look at these fabulous earrings

(more…)

Here is the very sweet “Storybook,” available in Size 18 in the Lime and Size 24 in the Coral. It is on sale, with a savings of 40 of the American dollars:

On behalf of Manolo and the entire Manolosphere, I would like to extend our warmest wishes to our superfantastic pals who are observing Purim and Holy Week this week. May your hearts be as full as your Neiman’s bill is high, and please leave the white shoes at home.

Prom season is almost here!

Francesca did not have a prom. Francesca attended high school in Europe, where we celebrate our impending graduation from high school at a bar, getting drunk.

Ha! Do not think for a moment that Francesca got drunk. No, no.

Francesca was the designated driver, of course.

However, Francesca did get to wear a pretty, floor-length gown when her dear Papa took her to her first State Dinner when she was 18. How well she remembers going with her mother to buy the elegant white gloves! Ah, memories!

::Francesca lingers in a state of reverie::

Oh, yes, where were we? Proms. Yes.

Francesca has many plus-size prom dresses to recommend. A wide variety, in fact! Pun intended! (Ha! Francesca jokes!)

She will recommend one per day for many, many days, yes? And she will attempt to show many styles, in a spectrum of prices, so that there will be something for everyone. She has floor-length dresses and knee-length dresses; the sweet girly-girl dresses and the goth dresses; dresses which cost almost $400 and dresses on sale for $80; dresses with empire waists and dresses with princess seams; pink and olive and maroon and navy and white and black and teal, oh my!

Here is the first, a dress which is soon selling out at Sydney’s Closet, and is only available still in size 16, the “Oscar Worthy II.” It is on sale, with a savings of $40 American dollars!

OK, Francesca is very, very excited about this one!

You see, for many years Francesca has been following a super-fantastic fantasy epic called The Wheel of Time, by Robert Jordan. This is by far the longest series she has ever read, but to give you an idea of how popular it is, and how many fans stuck through with it even when it started to feel like it was getting a leetle too long, when Francesca went into Barnes and Noble to buy Book 10, the clerk asked “What is this book? It’s been going like hot-cakes.” Yes indeed! Books 8-11 reached #1 on the NY Times bestseller list! Because the world which Jordan has created is incredibly rich, with characters drawn so well that Francesca is sure she would recognize any one of them if they passed her on the street. There are multiple continents, multiple countries with multiple cultures, a good 1800 characters, and while of course there is the one heroic “good guy” and his friends, and a horrible “bad guy” and his cronies, there are also other groups of people who fall on the spectrum of “good,” “bad,” or “both,” depending on their agenda.

Anyhow, the tragedy of this series is that Jordan died before completing the final book. It was a horrible, horrible day for the fans.

But Francesca just found out — a bit belatedly — that before he passed on, Jordan left copious notes about what was to happen in the final installment, including chapter outlines, a near-complete draft of the final chapter, and voice recordings adding details to help tie up loose ends. His wife-editor has just hired an established writer to complete the last installment on Jordan’s behalf. And so, someday not-soon-enough, the Wheel of Time will finally turn for the last time. And now Francesca feels safe recommending the series, because you can “get into it” secure in the knowledge that the epic climax will, indeed, be provided.

Book One:  The Eye of the WorldBook Two:  The Great Hunt
Book Three: The Dragon RebornBook Four:  The Shadow Rising
Book Five: The Fires of Heaven Book Six:  Lord of Chaos
Book Seven:  A Crown of Swords Book Eight:  The Path of Daggers
Book Nine:  Winter’s Heart Book Ten:  Crossroads of Twilight
Book Eleven:  Knife of Dreams

Book Twelve will be the final installment.

As you can see, the reading of this series is a big project to undertake. And a wonderful one!

Francesca loves the fantasy epics!

And now, a question for those of you who are already fans: What Ajah would you join? Francesca is thinking Green because they are the best-dressed and the coolest. But Gray also holds its attractions. What about you?

Yes, yes, Francesca is coming to London, and simply must meet our readers there.

So, my dear British friends, put on your most incredible shoes and get ready to meet ONE WEEK FROM TONIGHT, on Wednesday, March 26. Francesca is thinking that 8 pm sounds like a good time.

Place TBA. Unless someone recommends something better, Francesca will take the easy route and say that we will meet at the cocktail bar of the President Hotel in Russell Square, since Francesca will be staying in Russell Square (though not at the President).

Keep checking the site for more details! And please RSVP in the comments!

kissy kissies!

xoxo

Dear reader Lisa S. recently asked me whether women with big ole legs can wear shoes with solid/chunky heels or would they –as popular wisdom seems to hold– be better served by only wearing slim heels.

Now, I have my own opinion, which I shall post laster, but right now

Francesca and Plumcake want to know:

Do you feel big shoes make your legs look bigger? If so, do you avoid them?