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“I’m sorry, those only come in REALLY BIG sizes.” | Manolo for the Big Girl

“I’m sorry, those only come in REALLY BIG sizes.”

I could almost hear the sales assistant stretch out her arms as she said it.

Earlier today I’d called Neiman’s Last Call to ask them if they still had this fabulous full Saint John party skirt I’d fallen in love with a few days earlier but was foolish enough not to buy, even though it was marked down from $750 to practically nothing. I won’t torture you with the details, but rest assured this skirt is EPIC and at a vanity-sized 16 it allllmost zipped up.
I was filled with loathing at the idea of someone else buying my skirt before I had the chance to strap on William Shatner (there’s a sentence I never expected to get paid for. WS is, of course, the name of my corset) and see if the thing would zip up once I moved my innards around. If it didn’t fit then, I’d pass, but just to be safe, I called the store to ask them to hold it for me.

When the sales bunny told me “they only came in really big sizes” I got excited. If the 16 almost zipped up, surely the 18 would fit like a dream! Did St. John really make 18’s?

I paused and she continued, “yeah, I mean, they’re big… like…I saw a TWELVE.

Speaking of 12’s, here are my latest loves, the Miu Miu Patent Double-Strap Mary Janes in Antico, a dusky nude rose.

Viva La Miuccia!
Available up to a size 42 for $450 at Neiman’s.

Hey, compared to yesterday’s Valentino’s (Which clocked in at $1595 plus tax. Yowch.) they’re positively reasonable!

Have a superfantastic weekend everybody!

16 Responses to ““I’m sorry, those only come in REALLY BIG sizes.””

  1. Brooke April 11, 2008 at 7:24 pm #

    Don’t keep us in suspense!!!!! Did they have the skirt?

  2. Cybill April 11, 2008 at 7:34 pm #

    I want to know too! Did you choose the skirt or to strangle the assistant, and I’d like to see pic’s of either.

  3. Twistie April 11, 2008 at 9:19 pm #

    Put me down for a pic of Plumcake in her epic skirt strangling the assisstant.

    Hey, why not dream big while we’re at it?

  4. jen209 April 11, 2008 at 11:34 pm #

    Did you reach through the phone and smack her?

  5. Elina April 12, 2008 at 12:34 am #

    Oh, what a lovely opportunity! I always enjoy the chance to have a polite-yet-pointed conversation with a manager regarding the failings of his or her staff, preferably while the staff member in question is present to fully understand the depth and breadth of his or her shortcomings! My favorite part is when I mention how much I have spent at that establishment in the past year, and shake my head in regret at the thought that they will never receive my business again. Le sigh, le tsk.

  6. MsChilePepper April 12, 2008 at 1:48 am #

    I agree with Elina; the manager needs to be made aware of how clueless and rude the sales bunny was. Just as with terrible waitstaff in a restaurant, management can’t fix what they don’t know is broken.

  7. amy April 12, 2008 at 2:08 am #

    wow, that surprises me. i’m accustomed to really excellent and sensitive service at our neiman’s.

  8. EvilScienceChik April 12, 2008 at 4:09 am #

    OMG 12??? HOW DO THOSE PEOPLE EVEN FIT THROUGH THE DOOR???

    geez, some people are so clueless!

  9. Style Spy April 12, 2008 at 11:03 am #

    You tell me when you go down there so I can come with you. I’ll hold her, you smack her. Or vice versa. Whatever. I’m easy.

  10. Style Spy April 12, 2008 at 11:05 am #

    PS — the color in that photo of the heart-stopping Miu Mius is not a good representation of what they truly look like. They’re actually more of a dark nude color with a bit of a pink tinge — much less pink than they look in the photos. Which is very sad…

  11. AmazonAngelle April 13, 2008 at 4:02 am #

    It’s comments like this that make me amazed there aren’t more Big Girls being arrested for just hauling off and laying the smack down on some twiggy little store assistant.

  12. littlem April 13, 2008 at 6:55 pm #

    Sales bunny. Heh.

    That says it all, pretty much.

  13. raincoaster April 14, 2008 at 8:09 am #

    I think you should strap the ACTUAL William Shatner onto that sales assistant. She’ll be a gibbering pile of goo within seconds, especially if he does that Shakesperean rap thing.

  14. Anon April 14, 2008 at 11:56 am #

    Seriously, though. When did size 12 become a “big” size?

  15. JadedKitten April 14, 2008 at 12:20 pm #

    In this situation, a phone-to-phone electroshock system would be ideal, I think. Just press the button with the little lightning bolt on it, and deliver a polite but insistent zap of electricity to the offending sales bunny. Then, of course, ask to speak to her manager in a three-way conference call.

  16. Anne (in Reno) April 17, 2008 at 1:24 am #

    Speaking of twelves, call me when those shoes come in a 43. Everything comes up to 42 or 11 but I can never find a 12 or a 43 to save my life. Grr.

    Also, sales bunny, hahahaaa.