Comments on: The Big Question: But She’s My Ride Edition

By: QuiteLight

QuiteLight — Mon, 05 May 2008 01:19:15 +0000

One tried; a former friend once told me, as we were getting ready to go out, “Tonight is all about ME!” Meaning I shouldn’t compete with her in any way. Admittedly, she was getting over a bad break-up, but seriously, everything was always about her anyways! She got all the guys anyways since she was a) gorgeous & b) always had to be the centre of attention. I’m a lot more mellow.

She was really threatened by me for some reason; when I dressed low-key-normally for the club we were going to, she pitched a FIT. It was supposed to be about HER!! I gently told her I wasn’t trying to look BETTER than her, but I wanted to play WITH her. She seemed a little embarrassed & backed off.

But seriously, it was a long skirt & a tight T-shirt, bland for a goth bar. SHE was wearing a latex mini-nurses outfit; how much more non-threatening could I BE?!? What the hell was I supposed to wear; a rainbow fright wig?

That friendship is over.

By: jen

jen — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:03:01 +0000

I’ve been the ditched and the ditcher so I’m riding both sides on this one. My current skinny friend acts as if she has no self esteem until we’re surrounded by men b/c I’m tellin u, she’s a knock out! Many times I’ve wanted to knock her out but she gets me free drinks and I usually end up finding a guy or an old girlfriend at the bar/club to talk to, possibly go home with! Just an update, my skinny friend has been taken off her topomax, she acts alot better now haha!

By: M :)

M :) — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:04:23 +0000

I did it once, but not for any old reason: I ditched my friend in a club to be with the man who I ended up marrying. She happened to be larger than me, but that wasn’t why I left.

By: sb

sb — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:13:44 +0000

I haven’t had that problem, but a variation on it: I tend to have these gorgeous redheaded women for roommates - and people get to know me so that they can hit on my roommate. no fun!!

By: Cat

Cat — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:20:24 +0000

Kristen: Why is this girl your best friend if she treats you that way?

By: Kristen

Kristen — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 04:17:41 +0000

This is totally true. My best friend (a size ZERO) is always leaving me behind when she finds a cute guy. She has a habit of sleeping with a guy as soon as I tell her I like him. It’s almost as if she can’t stand me getting more attention than her. After all, I’m the fat one, they HAVE to like her more, and if they don’t, she sleeps with them until they do. It makes me sick.

By: Red Queen

Red Queen — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 19:00:10 +0000

I personally didn’t suffer purse girl syndrome in college because I was very outgoing and social and didn’t allow myself to be “put in a corner.”

Same here. And I have always been a pretty, outgoing girl (thin and fat). But fat I have noticed that often my skinny party girl friends (very loosely used term) get pissed, I mean tantrum throwing mad, because boys like me. How dare I take up space and be charming!

By: Kate

Kate — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:33:12 +0000

One of my close friends in college was a big girl in another sense - she’s six feet tall and very beautiful. Back then, she was also model-thin, so she always attracted a lot of attention when we were out! It was okay with me, though - I was never the pick guys up in bars type - I’m more the church on Sunday type. Watching all the guys trying to talk to her usually provided me with a night’s entertainment.

By: Jennie

Jennie — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 14:53:50 +0000

1. Jeni, where the hell are you going that has a bar full of toothless 60 year olds? Uganda? Most American 60 year olds have full sets of teeth!
2. I am lucky in that my “hot blond, blue eyed” friend was clueless. I was the life of the party and this guy joined the fun at a convention. He then started talking about this ultra posh exclusive party he had tickets to and asked my friend if she wanted to go. My friend looked at me and “Let’s go!” I had to explain to her that I wasn’t invited. She thought I was the one and she was the tagalong… Attitude is all my friends!

By: Nanette

Nanette — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 12:30:08 +0000

I always think of this as the “purse girl” syndrome. When a group of “girls,” and I use this term deliberately, goes out there is usually one that gets left watching the purses while the others have fun. When women go out together, they don’t negate the existence of their female friends when they get a whiff of testosterone. Thus, the repeated references to “when I was in college.”

Purse Girl syndrome does not necessarily correlate to body weight. Given the obsession with thinness in our society this may becoming prevalent now though. The Purse Girl is just as likely to be shy, flat-chested, acne-ridden, bespectacled, very thin or very tall. Mostly, the Purse Girl has some visible differnce from her friends that she has allowed to diminish her in her own eyes. Also, she has made a poor choice of friends. I personally didn’t suffer purse girl syndrome in college because I was very outgoing and social and didn’t allow myself to be “put in a corner.”

On a safety note, when women go out in a group to a club or bar, it isn’t advisable to leave one person behind or the allow someone who is impaired to leave alone or with strangers. Men have wing men. Women have a safety net. Natalie Holloway would probably be alive today if she had had better girlfriends.