It may surprise you –say, if you’ve been living in a cave in Borneo for the past year– that I tend to have what might be gently called strong feelings. When I do not care for something, I don’t merely dislike it; rather I have murderous urges towards it, its designer, wearer and anyone who was remotely involved in the conception, production and purveyance of the offending article. I won’t go so far as to say that I want to sing comic songs on their graves like Harris from Three Men in a Boat, but I’m not far off.
I have strong feelings about extra-long hair. To my delicate eyes, anything longer than bra-band length on women whose prom days are behind them looks off to me. Get to waist length and I’m secretly wondering what happened in her childhood, and did her father not hug her enough. I am of the opinion that hair that long isn’t a style (and is rarely stylish) it’s a security blanket.
Maybe I’m over-reacting because many of the women I know who keep what my friend R. calls “polygamy cult hair” because their husbands just luh-huv it and of course there is nothing more repulsive to me than doing things that makes other people happy.
So what do you think? Is ultra-long hair unprofessional looking? What message does it send? For those of you who love your long-long locks why do you keep it? Would you ever cut it?
OMFG, “polygamy cult hair” is the funniest thing I’ve heard in weeks. I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying. I can’t wait to use that.
Comment by boots — May 22, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
Clarification: by bra-strap length do you mean the shoulder straps or the band that hooks in back?
Comment by jenn — May 22, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
Oooh, great question! I’m in my early 20s, and up until the first week of April, I had loooong hair, to my waist, maybe a little longer. I’d been disliking it since late August, absolutely murderously hating it since January, but being in law school, didn’t have time to go get it taken care of. Finally, one Friday night, I just snapped and waltzed into a salon first thing the next day. It was looking ratty at the ends and it was hard to keep looking nice.
So my stylist chopped off about a foot and a half with a bevel in the back and I loved it. He loved it. People wouldn’t stop gushing. About a week ago, I realized it was kind of boring, so I went back in and got him to up the drama with some angles and layers. I love it. Plumcake, I think you’re right in a sense that it is a bit of a security blanket- I used to be kind of self-conscious/not that great self-esteem, but I never changed my hair to reflect the mental changes I had made as I got older. And trust, when my stylist is standing there, hands on my shoulders, literally purring with delight at how great he thinks my hair looks…I’m not ever going back to more than 2 inches past my shoulders!
Comment by Genevieve — May 22, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
I don’t know about the “security blanket” thing; I always liked long hair because you can do so much with it. I’ve had hair short and shoulder-length for a while now, and I’ve decided to grow it out again–mostly because, as a relatively curveless and column-shaped big girl, a short or medium-length cut on me makes my face look like a bowling ball. With long hair, you can braid it and pin it up in all kinds of ways. And, emotionally speaking, I once tried to get control of my out-of-control life by chopping off my then-long hair–suffice to say, it didn’t work.
Comment by Bronze — May 22, 2008 @ 3:43 pm
I have hair that’s been more or less waist length for a couple years now, and I do so for several reasons, none of which have anything to do with security blankets or other people’s tastes!
First of all, I’m 22, and look younger, so maybe it wouldn’t offend Plumcake’s delicate eyes. But I first decided to grow my hair out after several years of having to keep it short for other people’s reasons. I also find it easier to manage. At this length, it dries straight without aid from a blowdryer, and if I don’t feel like dealing with it, I can pull it back easily into any number of styles.
But I love my glorious, naturally blonde hair, and think it looks particularly striking the way I have it now. I should mention that I have a hair stylist who is god with a pair of scissors, and manages to keep it so that it has shape regardless of length! Frequent trims are a definite must, to avoid what I call witch hair!
To adress Plumcake’s other questions, I agree it isn’t very professional. In professional situations, I will never leave it down, and usually pull it back in a bun. I don’t think long hair in and of itself sends a message, but the way in which it’s worn does. In my case, I like to think I wear it with a Jessica Rabbit bombshell sort of attitude! I think I will cut it when I get bored with it, maybe not in the too distant future, but when I do, I will first grow it extra long so I can donate to Locks of Love!
Comment by Sarah — May 22, 2008 @ 3:54 pm
Most of the time hair that long looks like a desperate attempt to remain high school aged. I knew a gracious old lady years ago named Miss Effy. She had never had her hair cut and wore it in a lovely silver bun at the nape of her neck. Her children had her put into a nursing home (definitely necessary). Unfortunately, they didn’t want to deal with the maintenance and cut her hair off. She was so devastated that she went into a severe depression and died a few weeks later. This was the only person over 25 that the ultra long hair worked on. It also seems right on Hawaiian and Oriential women. Otherwise, it’s just pretentious and desperate.
Comment by Jennie — May 22, 2008 @ 4:15 pm
I have butt-length hair, but I almost always wear it in a bun. And I like it that way.
Comment by Mango — May 22, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
I haven’t had long hair since the early 1990’s, and even then it was no more than shoulder length; I just have too much dang hair to be able to wear it long.
I’ve had really short hair for the last five to seven years: structured, sculpted, spiked, wavy, coloured hair.
I don’t think that everyone who has ultra-long hair does it necessarily to please others, but most of them don’t carry it off very well, and it does frequently end up looking like “polygamy-cult hair” (about which, hee!). I think that, for many women of a certain age (say, over 30), keeping their hair long is their way of hanging on to the image of a younger self, and a time of their life when they felt happiest, or prettiest, or best about themselves. This often (but not always) goes hand-in-hand with a closet full of clothes from those years, as evidenced by the prevalence of both conditions on shows like “What Not To Wear”.
The “but I can do so much with it!” argument seldom flies with me, I confess, because I’ve met so many women who say that, but whom I’ve never seen wear their hair in anything but a ponytail.
Comment by Wendy — May 22, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
Hmm..I think it depends on the person. I know the look you’re talking about, but I completely disagree with the idea of women over 30 hanging onto long hair because it makes them feel happy and younger. I was freaking miserable when I was younger and obsessed about how fat I was (when I really wasn’t), so I’m certainly not trying to go back to that. In fact, at that smaller size, younger age, I had short hair. I’ve been short and I’ve been long and I currently like it long (past bra band by a few inches). I have big curly hair (like Ashley Graham but thicker!) and I’ll be 32 in 2 weeks. It doesn’t make me less professional – it goes with my larger than life, professional diva look – I’m tall and big and striking! :) It took me a long time to love my hair..and I would argue the opposite. I used to cut it because I freaking hated it..now I can’t get people to stop touching it!
Comment by Alyssa — May 22, 2008 @ 4:38 pm
I love long hair. Abso-freaking-lutely adore it. I had hair down to my waist until my first year of high school, when I joined JROTC and cut it off after three weeks to my chin, and really, even though it’s “easier” in the sense that it takes less time to dry and less shampoo to clean, I can’t stand keeping my hair shorter than shoulder-length or so now–I cut it in the fall, in celebration of starting my first year of college and to get rid of the leftover purple (>
Comment by calixti — May 22, 2008 @ 4:53 pm
Argh, it ate the rest of my comment!
I was just waiting for it to grow back out.
Part of it might be that I’m the library type. Long hair is easier to pull back, out of the way when I’m studying. That’s probably offset by my bangs, though, which I tend to keep long and in my eyes.
Right now it’s at an annoying length (for me) where it’s too short to do anything but put it in a ponytail and I haven’t had it trimmed since Christmas due to a busy, hectic school year so it’s a bit shapeless, but that’s first on the agenda when I go home for the summer this weekend. And in a few years, it’ll be back at waist-length, beautifully layered, with my long bangs partially in my eyes and I’ll be looking fabulous and lovely and a little bookish, so there. :P
Comment by calixti — May 22, 2008 @ 4:54 pm
I think a lot of us larger girls may grow our hair long because darn it, we want ONE part of our bodies to be “pretty.” Never mind how attractive the rest of us may be, hair is a lot easier to control than body shape.
I don’t ever want SHORT hair but these days it hangs between shoulder and bra-strap length. Its natural color has been lost to the mists of time, though…
Comment by Jane — May 22, 2008 @ 4:57 pm
One of my very good friends has, I kid you not, floor length hair. It’s very fine, so it doesn’t weigh very much, and she always puts it up into a bun. The one big plus I can see is that for the bun, all she does is twist two sections of her hair like a rope and then wrap it into a bun, and it looks as though she spent hours styling it. As for keeping it long for men, she’s cutting it off right after she gets married next month. :) She says she just wants to get some really good pictures of it before she goes shorter, and the wedding will do that.
Comment by megaera — May 22, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
of course, I might add that she has one of those swan like necks that makes the bun look ballerina-y or possibly Jane Austen-y.
Comment by megaera — May 22, 2008 @ 5:02 pm
“polygamy cult hair” that’s what I think when I see it too! I do like long hair, just not ridiculously long hair! I think it depends on the person wearing it. I personally can’t wear it very long. My hair is too thing and gets flat and straggly looking. My best friend has the most beautiful, thick long hair and I just love it on her, but its not waist length either. I wouldn’t even like her hair that long.
Comment by Jenni — May 22, 2008 @ 5:11 pm
As always, Plumcake, I agree with you. Waist-length hair makes me think of this rather eccentric woman who walked several hours a day around the neighborhood where I grew up. We called her the shoe tester.
I had long, wild hair until recently. I thought it made me look glamorous and sexy, and I thought a big girl like myself needed to have big hair to be balanced. About a month ago I got a stylish bob, and I have never felt more chic.
Comment by Chiken — May 22, 2008 @ 5:15 pm
I think, if you have to ask yourself whether it’s too long or not, it’s too long. While I firmly agree with many of the commenters about how long hair is practical and offers variety that short hair doesn’t always, I would point out (as someone who has had long hair the majority of her adult life) that you can do as much with long hair that tastefully falls to your wing bones as you can with waist length hair. And I would adamantly agree with Plumcake that there is a threshold after which your hair is in diminishing returns. Security blanket, maybe, or perhaps indifference — most overly long haired women I know (and I was one) incidentally also are proud of not having to go to the stylist, ever. And it’s these people, not the ones like Sarah above, who risk the polyg look. Maybe you don’t have to go to the stylist as often, but a great cut can do WONDERS for your appearance.
(And seriously, re: the analogy to polygamy cult hair: think about it. I’m sure the reason these women have these hair styles is to avoid seeming vain or overly interested in their appearance. Isn’t that what most of us who are reading this blog are trying to – be interested in (improving) our appearance?)
Comment by Nemtynakht — May 22, 2008 @ 5:48 pm
I always thought thought that super long hair wasn’t my thing, until I got it cut a few times and everyone commented on how ’80s I looked. I shudder to think about it now! My hair just goes ’80s when it’s cut anywhere from below the chin to a few inches below the shoulders (styled naturally). I’m keeping mine at mid-back length from now on, I think, after all those comments.
Comment by Meieli — May 22, 2008 @ 6:25 pm
Hee! Down here in Texas, we call it Pentecostal hair. No offense to any Pentecostals reading this, of course… ;)
I have wavy, reddish-blonde, waist-length hair and every time I try to cut it (which is often!!!), I get a barrage of freak-outs from all sides: friends, family, husband, co-workers, you name it. I’m glad that other people like my hair long (to the point where they all panic if I mention cutting it), but you’re right — it’s not a style. It’s just a big ol’ mess of hair that would be better off going to Locks of Love.
One of these days, I’m just going to sneak very quietly into a hair salon and chop it all off. My assorted friends and family (and husband, if he’ll still speak to me) will just have to deal with it. Till then, though…I’m not gonna rock the boat quite yet.
Comment by K — May 22, 2008 @ 6:37 pm
I’ve got really long hair, almost down to the middle of my back, but I’m only growing out in order to donate it. I think a couple more weeks should do make it long enough.
Comment by Me — May 22, 2008 @ 6:45 pm
Plumcake, I love you.
I have NEVER seen super-long hair look good on anyone. Is the hair gorgeous? Sometimes, yes. I have a student with long, greasy, dull blonde hair who will not cut it (not quite the polygamy cult thing but pretty darn close).
One of the commenters above talked about having hair down to her butt but she always wore it in a bun. So then why have it that long? You could chop a foot off (and donate it to Locks of Love) and still wear that same bun.
If anyone has any more ideas on how to get my student to cut her hair (it is so unflattering on her – she is long and thin, her hair is long and stringy and it’s just bad – she would rock a short bob like nobody’s business!), please pass ’em on.
Comment by sara — May 22, 2008 @ 6:46 pm
I have bra-band length hair that goes naturally into big loose curls- and I love it. I do get it trimmed regularly to keep away split ends, but I can’t imagine cutting my hair short. I enjoy it far too much!
That being said, I have a skinny friend with unfortunate hair- it reaches to her waist, is blond, fine, and tangles incessantly. It definitely has that cultish look.
Comment by AD — May 22, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
Locks of Love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, ladies; look into it.
Comment by Lull — May 22, 2008 @ 7:09 pm
For most of my teens and early twenties I had very long hair a little past my waist. I have very thick curly hair and I just loved it. To be honest, I really loved the pure feel of it. I loved the weight and how it felt falling down my back and shoulders, especially on bare skin. Maybe that’s weird, but that’s why I kept it for so long. I did cut it some after I got married and now wear it to my mid-back. Even shorter, though, I still wear it up often because of the thickness and also because I look very young when it’s down.
Comment by Eilish — May 22, 2008 @ 8:46 pm
I think long, healthy hair is gorgeous.
I’ve always enjoyed my hair and the way it feels, the compliments I get on it. Sometimes I chop it to mid-back or just below my shoulders, and it changes my look a lot. Then I grow it out again for another change.
It’s also nice to see beautiful long hair on other people.
I shouldn’t have read this post or the replies though, because I feel awful and self-conscious now about it. It made me feel worse than anti-fat articles. And I’m *not* actually Pentecostal or Mormon or likely to wear my hair to please men.
Comment by Chris — May 22, 2008 @ 9:08 pm
I have very curly hair just past my bra strap. I like the length, I put it up an out of the way, and when it is down, the weight keeps it from being too bushy. It must be getting fried looking though because my husband noticed and very warily suggested I get it cut, he eased the suggestion by saying he would take the kids for a weekend afternoon.
So for the first time in five years I am off to the salon, a process I am passive agressive about. The last time I was professionally cut and styled my long curls lost about four inches too much length and gained agressive blunt layers that took ages to style and stuck out at alarming angles as the too short hair corkscrewed merrily in every direction. A week from today someone else takes scissors to my hair for the first time in half a decade, I quiver at the thought.
Comment by Bobbi — May 22, 2008 @ 9:17 pm
Loooong hair, past the mid-back, generally only looks cute on teenage girls. (And sometimes not even on them.) Anyone older than that would benefit from a real haircut!
Comment by Kate — May 22, 2008 @ 10:23 pm
I don’t think that it matters how old you are — if you look good in long hair and you like it, wear it long (just make sure to get regular trims and keep it healthy). I’m 37 and I have super-thick, corkscrew-curly hair that is currently just about at bra-band length, but I’m considering cutting it into a chin-length bob at my next salon visit. This tends to be a cycle for me — grow it out to bra-band length and then chop it off to chin length. Then regret chopping it off, and start growing it out again immediately.
Comment by Cat — May 22, 2008 @ 11:22 pm
It is very very very very very rare that I see a woman that can pull off ultra long hair. (to me, ultra long = waist length-ish). Most of the time it just looks bad. I wouldn’t consider my hair ultra long, though. It’s about six inches past my shoulders at its longest point and it’s in long layers. (I’m pretty overdue for a haircut, though. I wish my mom would take me to get one… it sucks not being driving age.)
Comment by Jessica — May 22, 2008 @ 11:23 pm
For those of you who are feeling hurt about criticism of long hair… Plumcake says something that I like every other day is hideous. Poor rabrab was the only brave defender of the moon boots and I spoke up for the mostly yucky poet shirt and flip flops and then there were all the RenFair people who had to defend their peasant sleeves and dice rolling and whatnot. People have different slants on fashion, and it would be boring if we all agreed all the time. In fact, the only thing we would probably be unanimous about all the time are how much we hate crocs, and that would get dull.
The thing about long hair, on any gender and any age, is that it needs to be nice, healthy, shiny, hair. I have liked how older women look with long hair, plenty of them, but I also know that people seem to think long hair is always flattering when it is not. A good stylist is critical no matter what length you keep it, and that’s the part where I think women go off the rails with long hair. They have it long, they don’t get it cut or shaped, it’s straggly, they would probably benefit from some bangs or maybe one layer or something to give it more body, but it instead, it’s just long, and it just hangs. And that doesn’t work. But a good cut on long hair looks great.
As to whether Locks of Love is all it’s cracked up to be…well, most things aren’t, the cynical old broad in me says. When I cut my long hair off, the stylist made a braid and asked me if I wanted it. And the question becomes…um, do I store it with my nail clippings and used Kleenexes? Cuz I got no use for it after I’ve cut it and it might as well go somewhere.
Comment by Chaser — May 22, 2008 @ 11:37 pm
Having very curly hair, I tend to stick to shorter, choppier styles that dont weigh my hair down (but I embrace its vaguely chaotic tendencies, which I realize isnt for everyone). All throughout high school, I kept my hair long-ish (bra to mid back), and while it looked very nice, I find that I dont have the patience for it anymore. While I was initially scared to go under the scissors, I have found that I LOVE keeping my hair at a length that just touches my shoulders with choppy layers going to my nose. It’s quick, easy, and a mix of adorable and bohemian that appeals to me. I also have a great stylist, which helps a lot!
Chaser – I cant agree more. A good cut and a good stylist are as necessary as air, no matter what length your hair is. Shapeless, lifeless hair that’s only ‘redeeming feature’ is its length is not something to glory in.
Ultra-long hair takes a whole lot of effort to keep well maintained and stylish (not to mention professional) – its just too easy for long hair to look… boring. It doesn’t have character! Sure, its long enough to do X, Y, or Z, but I would speculate that a majority of the time most long haired women stick with something simple (down, pony tail or bun) because anything else is just too much work! “Arms… tired…Too… much… hair… to… straighten.. Ah, screw it, I’m going with the fall back bun.”
Comment by Kathy — May 22, 2008 @ 11:48 pm
I don’t have a problem with what I consider “long” hair, that is, hair long enough to form a substantial knot when put up. I DO, however, have a problem with looooooooong hair, not exactly on principle, but because by and large the women (and men, occasionally) who have that exceptionally long hair have exceptionally long hair in exceptionally bad condition.
I mean, if you want to grow it long as hell, you grow it long as hell and more power to you, but please, please, please get a TRIM every once in a while. If you can’t find a stylist you trust, get a close friend or SO to do it in the kitchen for you (as I’ve done for a friend of mine who refuses to cut her hair). Taking off a half inch every six months or so won’t impact the growth of your hair too badly, and will keep the hair you have from looking straggly and gross.
ALSO: unless your hair literally falls in gleaming waves of Botticellian beauty (and most people’s doesn’t), please DO something with it when you go out. Long hair requires some kind of styling attempt, be it barrettes or braids or buns. Something that makes you look as though you’ve got super-long hair because you like it, not because you’re too lazy to get a haircut. Straggly locks flowing hither and yon are nobody’s friends.
Comment by Scarlett — May 23, 2008 @ 12:35 am
Long straight hair, unless it is supernaturally thick, shiny-smooth and split end free tends to look scraggly. Get the ends trimmed and evened-up, at the very least! However, if you are the .1% of the polulation that has truly naturally wavy or loose curly cascades (as opposed to a hot frizzy mess), then go for it, Rapunzel. Just don’t use my shower to wash your hair in, unless you promise to clean the tub afters.
Comment by SusanC — May 23, 2008 @ 12:46 am
I’ve had long hair and I’ve had short hair. It can look good either way, or it can look lazy. You have to find a style and length that suits you and your hair care taking habits. (I have a large collection of bandannas to go with my shoulder length hair.) I don’t see how keeping your hair long cause your husband loves it is any different than convincing your husband not to wear that ugly ass shirt you hate; sometimes pleasing people in ways you don’t mind just makes life a little easier. If you really don’t care one way or another… But I will say that having split ends trimmed and thinning out my super thick hair makes it far easier to manage. Now dreadlocks. That’s an argument worthy hairstyle.
Comment by Christina — May 23, 2008 @ 1:45 am
For me, even bra strap length was more trouble than it was worth. I used to say, “I can do so much with it,” but you know what? I never did. It was down or in a ponytail every single day. Plus, it’s thick and straight, so all it did was hang. The weight of it caused it to look awfully flat. These days, it’s just past my shoulders and lightly layered. I can still pull it back, and my arms don’t get tired when I try to style it.
Back in middle school I had a friend with hair that went halfway down her thighs. On the first day of high school, she shows up with a chin length bob–which looked pretty good, I might add. She said that she got tired of caring for it, and wanted a more modern look. she told me that she put her hair in a braid, handed her mother a pair of scissors, and said, “Quick! Chop it off before I change my mind!” She didn’t try to grow it back.
Comment by maatnofret — May 23, 2008 @ 2:16 am
My hair is long(about to my bra strap), straight and blonde. I love it. Others love it. I get compliments all the time. I like that it says “sex kitten” and sultry.
With that being said….I’m stuck with my hair. The people around me like it so much I’m afraid to cut it. I don’t want them thinking that it looks awful or something. I would like to try short, but I don’t think I ever will.
I would never let it grow past my bra strap. Super long hair isn’t for me.
Comment by Angel — May 23, 2008 @ 6:32 am
“I think a lot of us larger girls may grow our hair long because darn it, we want ONE part of our bodies to be “pretty.” Never mind how attractive the rest of us may be, hair is a lot easier to control than body shape.”
What Jane said.
The Annalucia has the wild bushy hair (always kept under control with super-tight braids when she was a child) and she is also big, and one of the reasons she kept her hair long for many years is that too many people called her “sir” when she kept it short. (Has she mentioned that she is also plagued with facial hair?) But being so thick, it was hard to style. It was literally too heavy to stay in a bun, and even when tied back there were always stray strands about the face. The effect was not charming, it was Tired Washerwoman.
Finally, she had it cut three years ago; a good friend recommended a stylist who was able to take advantage of said bushyness and make a short, full, curly style which she loves (and which even the Tedesco, the great fan of long hair, likes as well). About the same time she discovered the Serbian beautician who is the deft hand at administering the facial wax. So she is much happier all around.
Conversely, the Annalucia’s eldest daughter keeps her hair almost long enough to sit on. However, she is only 29, and her hair is very like the Tedesco’s (very fine, very straight) so it works for her.
Comment by Annalucia — May 23, 2008 @ 9:25 am
K, I’m in a Pentecostal church, and *I* call it Pentecostal hair. It’s a good thing my church is so lax…
I had really long hair once, everyone BEGGED me not to cut it. “Oh, it’s so pretty an thick. Just leave it alone!”
Once I cut it they all started gushing about how cute it was. People are weird.
One time my mom and I were driving around my cousin’s apartment complex when we saw this girl with, I kid you not, hair down to the back of her knees. I couldn’t stop staring and laughing when mom said, “I wonder if she gets her hair stuck in her butt crack a lot?” LOL!!
I love my mom.
Comment by fantasmicalfrankie — May 23, 2008 @ 9:36 am
I’ve got no choice but to adhere to your standards because my naturally wavy hair simply does not grow past my bra! Never has, no matter how healthy and lush…I’ve always wondered if it has something to do with the thickness. I have INSANELY thick hair — so thick that it’s hard to braid.
Some people say that older chicks need to get a chop job to look respectable, but I plan to keep my hair long as I age. I’ve cut my hair short in the past and I end up looking like a boy every damn time. I wish I could rock a pixie cut or a cute bob, but I just don’t look right. Even when the haircut itself is good, it doesn’t look right on *me*.
I think I have a long hair face, if that makes any sense?
Comment by Never teh Bride — May 23, 2008 @ 9:54 am
OOOOH I so agree. I almost always hate super-long hair. It just seems so scraggly and unhealthy looking. Not to mention that I hate finding stray hairs in the bathroom (even from my own chin-length bob) and I can’t even imagine what it would be like if you had hair that was two or three feet long. EW.
That said, in the past few years, I feel like I’ve seen a few people rocking the long hair. I’m thinking of that Joss Stone, silky curly hair look. If all long hair looked that healthy, I think I’d like it more.
Comment by andrea. — May 23, 2008 @ 11:07 am
I think the whole key of this discussion is that regardless of your hair length, it’s imperative to keep your hair in good condition, and in a style that flatters you.
I have seen some women with very long hair, and their hair is shiny and well-kept, it works with their height and face and body type, and it has an actual style, whether it be layers and bangs, cascading, shiny curls, or a severe blunt cut.
What looks awful is when the hair takes away from the woman, instead of enhancing her. When it is scraggly, or has 5 inches of split ends (or 5 inches of roots), or is utterly shapeless and just hangs in her face and droops over her body, then it looks just wrong. That is the hair that makes one think of “security blanket” syndrome, as it is plain to see that the only thing the woman cares about is that the hair is long.
Of course, this is not exclusive to long hair — the same rules apply to short hair, but because there is just so MUCH of it, bad long hair tends to look much worse than bad short hair.
And, it is much harder to keep long hair in stunning condition, due to it being so old. That is probably why for every one woman you see with gorgeous, flattering long hair, you see ten who are in dire need of an honest stylist.
(For the record, I had short hair most of my life, but for the last 8 years have had bra-strap length auburn waves. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to short hair, but I AM going to go get it trimmed — with a good inch off, at least — next Friday. And NtB, I hear you about the hair thickness — I can’t braid mine either. If I do two braids, each braid is STILL twice as thick as a normal woman’s single braid.)
Comment by La Petite Acadienne — May 23, 2008 @ 11:24 am
Two words: Demi Moore.
Granted she has genes from the angels, but if you’re over 12 and rocking long hair, she is your role model.
Comment by Leah — May 23, 2008 @ 11:26 am
I think Veronica Hamel, back in her Hill Street Blues days, was about the best advertisement for very long straight hair on grown-up women one could find (though she was not, alas, much of an actor). She was both 1) stunning and 2) not at all girlish in her appearance, so she could get away with it without looking like an elderly teenager. That said, I’ve no aesthetic objection to any particular length of hair at all, though I think it’s better, in general, to put it up and look like a grownup than just let it hang.
I have such terrible hair myself — it’s ridiculously wispy and fine and it grows, slowly and reluctantly, only just to shoulder length — that I figure girls who can grow it ought to go for it if they want.
(And I love long hair on men — even halfway-down-the-back biker hair!)
Comment by Bridey — May 23, 2008 @ 11:41 am
It depends on the hair. My sister has very thick wavy hair, and it looks best long. But fine straight hair often starts to look scraggly when it gets very long. I agree that long hair doesn’t look very professional, mine is to my armpits and I always wear it in a bun or otherwise up for work, because it looks so much more professional.
Leah, Demi Moore inspired me to grow my hair! Her hair is so beautiful. But I didn’t like mine so long so I settled on just below the shoulders.
Comment by Becky — May 23, 2008 @ 12:28 pm
I haven’t been able to grow long, silky, shiny hair since I was a little girl. Once I became 18 or so, it suddenly turned into very curly, fine, fly-away crazy hair that breaks, splits at the ends, and physically irritates me (especially during humid conditions). It is unreasonable. That’s the only way I can accurately describe it.
Other people try to be kind and describe it as “Big”.
Invariably I’ll find a stylist (when I finally break down and seek one out, and it always has to come to that point) who will decide all I need is some layering and a style that I can “blow out” to straighten my hair. Now, I’m not really shy and retiring, I speak up about my concerns but I’m always met with a protest from any hairstylist I’ve ever encountered, which always goes, “Oh, nonsense, with a little bit of product you can do this in minutes!”
And invariably, it will take the stylist several hours with a blow dryer, straightening irons, extra staff members jumping in to use various “straightening”, “smoothing” products and tools to make it smoothe and straight. I have never been in a salon for less than 5 hours every time I go, that’s another reason why I really have to work up the desire to go into one.
And then I’ll go outside, and a snowflake will descend on it, or a drop of rain will fall on it, or a gust of sultry sodden air will move past–and we’re right back where we started: bushy, big, fine, dry looking frizzy hair.
Lately I’m experimenting with chin length, loosely-waved styles (like Annette Bening in Being Julia). And that helps if the weather’s right.
Comment by ChaChaHeels — May 23, 2008 @ 1:25 pm
Huh — my comment is awaiting moderation. I guess the system doesn’t like any HTML. :(
Comment by La Petite Acadienne — May 23, 2008 @ 1:49 pm
I think there is long hair, and then there is inappropriately/unflatteringly long hair. Long hair–past mid-back–can look professional if you take care of it and style it well. However, it nearly makes me cry every time I see a woman whose hair is so long the ends are mere wisps of hair. The kind where you can just tell if she’d cut about 5 inches off, her hair would look infinitely better.
I had quite long hair until about 5 months ago. I think mine was a hold-over from college; a lot of attention was paid to my long hair, whether I wore it straight or curly (yes, I’m blessed/cursed with natural curls). It looked good and it was fairly low-maintenance. However, it was also boring (to me) and relegated to being pulled back nearly every day.
Like Genevieve above, I am now in law school. I finally got so bored with my hair that smack during the middle of finals (!!!) I decided it was more important to get my hair chopped than to study for Criminal Procedure. I had it cut to just below my shoulders, and it felt fabulous. I’ve since gone through a number of significant changes in my life, and have finally grown the lady-balls (thank you, Stephen Colbert) to do whatever I want with my hair. The mid-finals hair chop seems to be establishing itself as a ritual, and I am now rocking a very chic bob based on that of Ms. Victoria Beckham…something I would never had imagined possible only a year ago (and for which I received criticism during my Appellate Oral Argument, which is a whole other story).
I’m just saying: hair–particularly if it’s in a style you’ve worn forever–seems to represent a LOT of who we are…or at least who we have been. It sounds slightly silly, but since chopping my hair, I feel more fierce, more adult, and more capable of tackling whatever life throws at me.
Comment by Danielle — May 23, 2008 @ 3:47 pm
I don’t think it’s the length of the hair that makes it look good or professional; it’s the care that’s taken of it. Like long hair, short hair can look terrible if it’s not taken care of.
I am so glad that Bronze used the phrase “bowling ball” above – that’s my favorite description of how my head looks with short hair. I have curly hair with a mind of its own, and no amount of hair products or blowing out will make it look anything other than unkempt when it is short. The weight of the longer hair makes the curls fall in loose ringlets instead of sticking out of my head at weird angles.
And frankly, longer is a lot easier for me because I don’t need much in the way of hair products and I don’t need to dry it all the way – the curls pop better if I dry it most of the way and let it finish naturally. It is almost wash and go, which short hair definitely was not. It’s funny how much easier it all became when I finally started accepting my hair the way it was and not the way others told me it should be made to be.
Comment by TropicalChrome — May 23, 2008 @ 5:11 pm
Plumcake!!! Look at what ye hast wrought!!! There are stronger feelings here than for global warming and the economy!!! LOL!!!
Comment by Jennie — May 23, 2008 @ 6:43 pm
Demi Moore does, indeed, have boooooyooootiful hair. She also goes, I believe, to one of the salons on Rodeo Dr. where a cut, color, and style can run you upwards of $300.
We have indeed hit upon a topic that makes me very passionate: if you can afford it, I honestly don’t think anything contributes more to your look as you age than a fantastic stylist. If your stylist can’t or won’t (probably can’t; folks vary in how good they are at their jobs) help you find a look that is both flattering and easy to maintain, then KEEP SHOPPING until you find one who can. These people do exist; they just have to pursued relentlessly. And trust me, I understand the frustration. I lived for three years in rural Virginia and I finally got so fed up I scheduled appointments in DC because nobody where I lived could cut my hair without making me look like Tanya Tucker, circa 1985. It was constant.
Me: Give me something short and edgy.
RuralStylist: Sure thing! Let’s soften the look with some feathery curls.
Me: I don’t want to soften the look.
RuralStylist: Blank Look.
30 minutes later I’d wind up looking like a demented tranny, with feathery curls that I cut off myself as soon as I got home.
.
Repeat this until I visited every stylist in town, with the same conversation, the same results.
Comment by Chaser — May 23, 2008 @ 7:34 pm