Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

May 28, 2008

The Big Question: Stretch Your Lexicon, Ladies

Filed under: Uncategorized — Miss Plumcake @ 1:28 pm

A friend of mine, Lex, is a singular sort of genius. She comes up with THE most magnificent, baroque and hair-burningly vulgar invectives that my porcelain cheeks have ever had the good fortune to blush upon reading.  Since my life is devoid of anyone who really needs a good whopper I open the question to you:

 Plumcake and Francesca want to know:

 What is the best/most creative name you have every called (or thought to call) someone? Please keep the profanities to a minimum ladies, they’re too easy.


  1. Dumpster Baby

    Comment by Melissa — May 31, 2008 @ 11:47 am

  2. “Ankle” is my favorite.

    I have an absolute horror of the “C” word, and can only think of two times I’ve ever used it in reference to an actual human (well, carbon based life form) female. However, a friend of mine pointed out that anatomically speaking, an ankle is about two feet lower than a “C” word.

    Marvelous! Not only do I NOT have to say the “C” word, but it’s actually a much worse insult. :)

    Comment by Dazie — June 1, 2008 @ 1:30 pm

  3. One of my favorites – and it’s mildly profane – is stump jumping sister fucker, it’s for general use. I had a friend once who refused to date any woman who wasn’t physical perfection. His ego knew no bounds. He got in an argument with one of our female friends about this and when she was done yelling she turned and in a very calm voice said, “I hope you fall madly in love with a woman who will only ever be beautiful on the inside.”

    I’m still fond of that one.

    Comment by Mel — June 1, 2008 @ 7:05 pm

  4. This is what I’ve lately been calling an Executive at my company who is driving everyone absolutely insane — A passive-agressive, power-horny, aggravating little fuckwit.

    It really rolls off the tongue, and it makes me feel good Every. Single. Time.

    Comment by Miss B — June 1, 2008 @ 7:21 pm

  5. “Aborted fetus of Satan!!”

    Comment by teebee — June 2, 2008 @ 12:13 am

  6. Well, since we seem to have strayed from the “no cussin” rule…

    Needle-dick snake fucker has always been one of my faves…

    and new new favorite- Fuckweasel.

    Gotta love it.

    *And I’ve been calling my best girl a water retaining sea cow for years!

    Comment by Korshka — June 3, 2008 @ 12:32 am

  7. Sadly, my best name-calling happened when I was in the 1st grade. I went to a fairly small school that was K-12 and the kids all had to ride the same buses. There was senior named Rick that was basically just a bully. I can’t remember what happened but one day I shouted to him from the front of the bus, “You think you are such a King Kong? You’re nothing but a Ding Dong!”

    Maybe not the most clever insult but everyone started laughing at him for being told off by a blondie in pig tails and he sat quietly for the rest of the trip home. :-)

    Comment by Sashibala — June 3, 2008 @ 8:05 am

  8. These are great.
    I’m a great fan of “jackface” – it doesn’t really make sense, but it’s very satisfying to say when someone cuts you off in traffic.

    Comment by Christy — June 5, 2008 @ 8:11 pm

  9. This is one of my grandmother’s and I think from Northern Maine – but when someone is being an especially unmotivated or lazy killjoy they say, “Don’t be such an old fart in a mitten!” i love that one:)

    Comment by Elizabeth — June 9, 2008 @ 12:14 am

  10. Отличная идея

    Comment by Такси — June 21, 2009 @ 8:22 am

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