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The Big Question: Stretch Your Lexicon, Ladies | Manolo for the Big Girl

The Big Question: Stretch Your Lexicon, Ladies

A friend of mine, Lex, is a singular sort of genius. She comes up with THE most magnificent, baroque and hair-burningly vulgar invectives that my porcelain cheeks have ever had the good fortune to blush upon reading.  Since my life is devoid of anyone who really needs a good whopper I open the question to you:

 Plumcake and Francesca want to know:

 What is the best/most creative name you have every called (or thought to call) someone? Please keep the profanities to a minimum ladies, they’re too easy.

60 Responses to “The Big Question: Stretch Your Lexicon, Ladies”

  1. Melissa May 31, 2008 at 11:47 am #

    Dumpster Baby

  2. Dazie June 1, 2008 at 1:30 pm #

    “Ankle” is my favorite.

    I have an absolute horror of the “C” word, and can only think of two times I’ve ever used it in reference to an actual human (well, carbon based life form) female. However, a friend of mine pointed out that anatomically speaking, an ankle is about two feet lower than a “C” word.

    Marvelous! Not only do I NOT have to say the “C” word, but it’s actually a much worse insult. :)

  3. Mel June 1, 2008 at 7:05 pm #

    One of my favorites – and it’s mildly profane – is stump jumping sister fucker, it’s for general use. I had a friend once who refused to date any woman who wasn’t physical perfection. His ego knew no bounds. He got in an argument with one of our female friends about this and when she was done yelling she turned and in a very calm voice said, “I hope you fall madly in love with a woman who will only ever be beautiful on the inside.”

    I’m still fond of that one.

  4. Miss B June 1, 2008 at 7:21 pm #

    This is what I’ve lately been calling an Executive at my company who is driving everyone absolutely insane — A passive-agressive, power-horny, aggravating little fuckwit.

    It really rolls off the tongue, and it makes me feel good Every. Single. Time.

  5. teebee June 2, 2008 at 12:13 am #

    “Aborted fetus of Satan!!”

  6. Korshka June 3, 2008 at 12:32 am #

    Well, since we seem to have strayed from the “no cussin” rule…

    Needle-dick snake fucker has always been one of my faves…

    and new new favorite- Fuckweasel.

    Gotta love it.

    *And I’ve been calling my best girl a water retaining sea cow for years!

  7. Sashibala June 3, 2008 at 8:05 am #

    Sadly, my best name-calling happened when I was in the 1st grade. I went to a fairly small school that was K-12 and the kids all had to ride the same buses. There was senior named Rick that was basically just a bully. I can’t remember what happened but one day I shouted to him from the front of the bus, “You think you are such a King Kong? You’re nothing but a Ding Dong!”

    Maybe not the most clever insult but everyone started laughing at him for being told off by a blondie in pig tails and he sat quietly for the rest of the trip home. :-)

  8. Christy June 5, 2008 at 8:11 pm #

    These are great.
    I’m a great fan of “jackface” – it doesn’t really make sense, but it’s very satisfying to say when someone cuts you off in traffic.

  9. Elizabeth June 9, 2008 at 12:14 am #

    This is one of my grandmother’s and I think from Northern Maine – but when someone is being an especially unmotivated or lazy killjoy they say, “Don’t be such an old fart in a mitten!” i love that one:)

  10. Такси June 21, 2009 at 8:22 am #

    Отличная идея