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Archive for May, 2008


The Big Question: How Long is Too Long?

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008
By Plumcake

It may surprise you –say, if you’ve been living in a cave in Borneo for the past year– that I tend to have what might be gently called strong feelings. When I do not care for something, I don’t merely dislike it; rather I have murderous urges towards it, its designer, wearer and anyone who was remotely involved in the conception, production and purveyance of the offending article. I won’t go so far as to say that I want to sing comic songs on their graves like Harris from Three Men in a Boat, but I’m not far off.

I have strong feelings about extra-long hair. To my delicate eyes, anything longer than bra-band length on women whose prom days are behind them looks off to me. Get to waist length and I’m secretly wondering what happened in her childhood, and did her father not hug her enough. I am of the opinion that hair that long isn’t a style (and is rarely stylish) it’s a security blanket.

Maybe I’m over-reacting because many of the women I know who keep what my friend R. calls “polygamy cult hair” because their husbands just luh-huv it and of course there is nothing more repulsive to me than doing things that makes other people happy.
So what do you think? Is ultra-long hair unprofessional looking? What message does it send? For those of you who love your long-long locks why do you keep it? Would you ever cut it?


Links that may amuse

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008
By Francesca

(or inspire, or educate)

28 Days to a Bikini Mind!

It made me hungry for more butt room, more shoulder room, more room on the arm divider so that my neighbor and I wouldn’t be forced into a game of passive-aggressive elbow war the entire flight.

I was all weird and nervous when I bought it because I was paying full price, and it wasn’t even an entire shirt and and it didn’t even have buttons and and and. But I did it, and it basically turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.

Little attention has been given to these young people whose lives and futures are endangered now, today, and for real.

The most important thing for me is to have a home where I feel respected, safe, and valued. 

Another woman, the largest of the group, had this sage advice to offer to the slighted woman.

We stared. We poked it. We discussed how odd and weird and smelly cauliflower can be.


Sale at Nordstrom!

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
By Francesca

Nordstrom has taken 40% off many of their items, including a good selection in their plus-size section. Coats, pants, sweaters, fancy dresses, oh my! Also, you get free shipping if you order $200 or more. Mmmm

This beaded dress, which Francesca may have recommended in the past, is very good for Apples (perhaps without the belt, which can be removed). It is still available in size 14 and is down from $170 to just 99 American dollars!

Here, this stretch-cotton jacket has faux patent trim, and is a good mixture of “now” and “mod.” It is down from $158 to just $94. Available in sizes 14-22, in black and white.

And look!  40 or 50 percent off their shoes and handbags!

Francesca loves the color and texture of this silk clutch by Stuart Weitzman. Its name, “Luxury,” is apt, is it not? And yet it is 50 percent off!
Happy shopping!

xoxo


Francesca must lie down with a cold cloth on her brow

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
By Francesca

Francesca knows that you think she is always on top of her to-do list and perfectly motivated and organized all the time, but she has a secret for you: Francesca sometimes – not often, mind you, only once every long while — wastes time on the internet.

One of her favorite destinations is the “What’s New” section at Snopes.com, the site where one may investigate the veracity of internet rumours and odd news stories. Each day, in addition to well-researched information that tells you that, no, Bill Gates will not give you a dollar for each person to whom you forward that email, they post a roundup of strange or silly news from around the world.

Today, two articles caught Francesca’s attention with their references to the Big Girls . . . and made Francesca’s head come oh so very close to exploding! Yes, the Francesca has lost her equanimity! It is an occurrence to cause the concern!

First, is yet another frustrating story about a woman who had a real, live health problem, and was grossly misdiagnosed by her doctor, who saw her fat and decided that losing weight was all she needed to do:

The unidentified woman said after visiting a health clinic to complain about a swollen abdomen, she was allegedly told by a doctor to attempt to lose weight to deal with the problem, the Swedish news agency TT reported Friday.

The woman said she returned to the clinic several other times after the problem persisted and was denied when she asked for an ultrasound.

A private doctor eventually conducted an ultrasound and discovered a cyst inside her abdomen which weighed nearly 18 pounds.

The news agency said the Medical Responsibility Board has since been informed about the woman’s initial doctor, who was a temporary employee at the clinic, and his inaccurate diagnosis.

What most angers Francesca is that when a woman comes back repeatedly asking for an ultrasound, it means that she feels, in her body, that something unusual is happening.  Perhaps she had always been thin, and suddenly gained weight even though she had not altered her eating or exercising routines. Or perhaps she had always been overweight, but this time something was different — she could feel it. Either way, if a woman is insisting that there is something going on, then there very well may be something going on. But the “doctors” at this clinic did not consider that possibility, because obviously if the woman is fat, then all she is is fat. Nothing else about her is important, not even the possibility of a cyst, and not even the possibility that she is intelligent enough to know her own body.

Grrrr!

Second, we have here a sad, sad story about a woman in New Zealand who relied on an oxygen machine to breathe, and who died after the utilities company shut down the electricity at her house:

Muliaga’s husband, Lopaavea, told the court that he contacted Mercury Energy in early May 2007 to try to arrange paying their overdue power bill in installments but was unsuccessful.

He made a payment in May but the power was disconnected eight days later. At the time, he testified, he thought he only owed $26.67.

Mercury Energy said at the time that $130.12 was owed.

An emotional Lopaavea Muliaga said he was at work when the power was cut and arrived home to find his wife dead and two ambulance officers at the house.

He said by the time of her death his overweight wife needed the oxygen machine 16 hours a day to help her breathe.

In the wake of Folole Muliaga’s death, the power company said it would review the way it deals with customers with medical dependencies and those in financial difficulty.

Notice that nowhere does the article state why Ms. Muliaga required an oxygen machine. Perhaps the Associated Press reporter who wrote this story believes that by describing her as overweight, he or she has told us all we need to know. As in, “ah, yes, she was overweight, therefore she her entire respiratory system shut down– because, you know, as soon as your BMI goes into the ‘overweight’ category you only have seconds to live– and therefore she died when the electricity went off.”

Of course, we all know that the vast majority of overweight people can breathe on their own just fine, thank you very much. Ms. Muliaga was not a victim of her fat, she was a victim of whatever profound illness caused her to need the oxygen machine (and of the power company). Even if being overweight is a risk factor for whatever illness it was — and the article does not substantiate this assumption — it still does not tell us anything salient.

What is sad is that so many people think it does, including a reporter and a copy editor at the Associated Press.

Grrrrrr.

Francesca will now uplift herself with  one of these darling, darling cotton skirts, available in Woman and Woman Petite sizes at Talbots:

They are adorned with itsy-bitsy dragonflies, palm trees, or flamingos, and are much more useful and smile-making than the stupid reporters. Francesca hath spoken.


Francesca loves Florals!

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
By Francesca

“Merissa” linen dress by Lafayette 148, available in sizes 16, 20, and 22 at Saks Fifth Avenue.

Francesca drools.


Big Girls in Art: Sue Tilley

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
By Francesca

Our readers will be pleased to know that a vivid portrait of Big Girl Sue Tilley, of London, has recently broken art-world records. It sold at Christie’s for over 33 million American dollars, the most ever given at an auction for a work by a living painter. Lucian Freud created 4 portraits of Tilley in the mid-1990’s. This one, the record-breaker,  is called “Benefits Supervisor Sleeping”:

benefits-supervisor-sleeping.jpg

What Francesca likes best about this story is Tilley’s superfantastic fattitude:

The portrait’s sitter, Sue Tilley - now promoted from benefits supervisor to manager of a Jobcentre Plus in central London - is delighted. “My life’s changed overnight,” she says. “I’m beside myself, but then lovely things are always happening to me. Still, I’m not surprised - in a way, I always thought this might happen. I love that painting.”

::snip::

“The first painting he ever did of me [Evening in the Studio, 1993] was finished while there was a big show of his paintings on at the Whitechapel gallery,” she says. “So they put it up for the last week of the exhibition. I went in there one day and there was a man giving a talk in front of the picture, saying, look at this revolting woman, she’s so fat and disgusting, there’s obviously something wrong with her skin. I just started laughing. The man stopped and asked if there was anything wrong. I said: ‘That’s me you’re talking about,’ and he just looked like he wanted to die. After that I didn’t really mind what people said.

“I’m not the ‘ideal woman’, I know I’m not. But who is? And he never made the skinny ones look any better. He picks out every single little detail.”

Francesca also enjoys this “that will show them, those ridiculous debt-collectors!” tidbit:

Freud gave her one of the portraits, a print. When bailiffs visited Ms Tilley some years ago, demanding items to the value of £700, they were more interested in her electric kettle and household objects than her Freud. When, in desperation, she offered to part with the print, telling them that it would more than cover the money she owed, they laughed at her. In 2005 it was sold by Bloomsbury Auctions in London for more than £26,000

So, remember ladies, the fleshier you are, the more your image could be worth millions.


Plumcake Solves the Mysteries of the World!

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
By Plumcake

I’ve often wondered why so many writers –poets in particular– are so freaking depressed. I mean, take Emily Dickinson. Cute girl, nice family, beautiful house in the Pioneer Valley…maybe she didn’t date much, but honestly what did she expect with the severe center part and lack of volume at the crown?

But instead of getting up early and banging out a few rhymes about pearls and girls and then spend the rest of the day banging inappropriate men on behalf of the war effort –which is what I’d do if I were a poet–  she spent her life writing morbid stuff about public frogs and angels with curious ideas towards haberdashery. Why?
Turns out it was the clothes.

Because I could not shop for death it kindly shopped for me

Behold the Style & Co “poet shirt.” Who knew?


The Triumphant Return of Moon Boot Monday!

Monday, May 19th, 2008
By Plumcake

Never let it be said that Manolo for the Big Girl doesn’t care about your needs. We know that most if not ALL of you at one time or another have pulled your hair, rent your garments and moaned “O IF ONLY I had a pair of laughably expensive be-logo’ed moon boots conceived from an unholy union between Run DMC’s old Adidas Superstars and the aged and dessicated hide of Snuffleupagus’s notoriously round-heeled great grandmother, Alma Jean! WHY IS LIFE SO HARD?”

Well, here you go:

It’s about YOUR needs, baby

What can I say? We’re givers.


Francesca loves florals!

Monday, May 19th, 2008
By Francesca

Francesca loves florals. But she knows what you are thinking. You are thinking: Francesca, are you off your rocker? I have not worn florals since 1978, and even then they made me look like I was wearing a sofa cover!

Have no fear, my friends. It is now 2008, and it is possible for the Big Girl to wear florals. We simply need to stay away from the sofa covers, yes?

No:

Getting warmer, but still no for most people:

Yes!

Stay tuned this week for more feminine, flowery frocks from Francesca!

xoxo


Food Friendly May: Agua Fresca

Sunday, May 18th, 2008
By Twistie

Growing up in California, I was introduced early to a good deal of Mexican food. One of my favorite discoveries as a small child was agua fresca. I will never forget the first time I was handed a glass on a hot, summer’s day and drank deeply of this incredibly refreshing beverage. It was watermelon, still my favorite flavor of agua fresca, though I’ve enjoyed many other delicious versions. It can be done with nearly any fruit, but melons and strawberries always seem to be the most popular flavors. It can also be done with cucumber and lime, though I must admit I haven’t tried that one out. I probably will sometime this summer, because it sounds both interesting and remarkably refreshing.

Anyway, I found an actual recipe (I’d never really used a formal recipe for this before, but the proportions look right and the steps match pretty much what I’d been doing) at a website called What’s 4 Eats, which is devoted to recipes from around the world. Here’s what you do to make agua fresca (fresh water):

3 Cups fresh fruit, coarsly chopped

6-8 Cups water

1/2 - 3/4 Cup sugar, depending on tartness of fruit and personal taste

1/4 Cup lime juice (optional)

1: Add fruit and 2 - 3 Cups of water to a blender and puree well. Strain through a seive into a large pitcher.

2: Add the rest of the water (to the six-cup point) and 1/2 Cup sugar. Stir well. Add more sugar and more water until you reach the desired consistancy and sweetness. Serve chilled. Makes 2 1/2 Quarts.
Trust me, there is nothing better on an icky hot day than agua fresca. In fact, I may make some strawberry today. Mmm…strawberries.







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