I have been mightily impressed with all the creative little drops of vitriol that have been trickling in since I asked the Big Question last week. Now it’s only fair that I share my absolute favorite with you. This came to me courtesy of my friend Craig, who has been on the receiving end of many of my curses. Six years ago he left me in an otherwise empty field somewhere outside of Dallas talking to a man in a giant carrot costume who was almost certainly high on ecstasy. A week has not gone by when I haven’t reminded him of this.
Craig, taking his son to the park one day, witnessed a scuffle between two under-sevens who were talking the sort of kinder-smack that kiddos love to do. I believe the fight was over the rubber swing, its rights and maintenance in good weather and bad. The big kid got the swing but the little one got the best line. Responding to an undocumented insult hurled by the victor, our vanquished friend shouted out
“Oh yeah? Well you’re everything bad!”