For the most part, I’m pretty live and let live about fashion statements. I firmly believe that there is a body out there that is flattered by nearly every possible cut and definitely every single color, even if there are things I know darn well not to try on myself. Pink? Not for me. It makes me look jaundiced. On many others, however, it’s superfantastic. Empire waists? Not for everybody, but one that is cut just right makes me look like my poor little A+ cups are actually holding something up. I am one of the few women I’ve ever met who looks really good in lime green. I know that just because something doesn’t work on me doesn’t mean it won’t work on anybody at all.
Every once in a while, though, I run across something so heinous that my mind boggles and even I run out of words to describe the horror. This morning, before I’d even finished caffeinating myself into full consciousness, I found such an item.
Which imp of perversity caused someone to design this fabric? I know splashy patterns are all the rage, but there are splashy patterns and splashy patterns, and this one nearly caused a splash right here at my computer desk. It does not help one iota to realize that this nightmare of a pattern graces 100% polyester…except in that I know no natural fibers were harmed in the making of this monstrosity.
But then not only did someone choose to actually manufacture this fabric in these lurid colors, someone chose to make it into a top whose cut is based quite clearly on a potato sack. There is no grace to this cut, no elegance, no particular thought that I can see.
But it gets worse. If this cost ten dollars, I might see a reason for it to exist. After all, there’s no point in wearing something too superfantastic to do the heavy housecleaning in. But no. This is $49.00…$54.00 if you wear Zaftique’s 4z – 6z.
Dear Zaftique. I know you are capable of making some very pretty clothes. You’ve made pieces I’ve lusted after in my heart. And then you do this. Why, oh why?
Look, you made this pretty wrap top, too:
You even made it in lots of pretty, versatile colors to suit a wide variety of skin tones and tastes. It even costs less than the potato sack demon smock and includes some cotton for breathability. You can do good things. I have faith in your ability to pull yourselves together and not make me break out in brainhives again.
Please try harder.