Oh my fellow fools for foulards! I had no idea there were so many of you who want to wear scarves but either didn’t know how or don’t feel confident wearing them. I love scarves like a tranny loves duct tape and you, you are my people!
One of the brilly things about scarves is that you don’t need to drop serious bank to get a good one. Sure I’ve got my vintage YSL mousseline and my beloved Hermès that I refuse to wear when I might be around dirt or water or air or, um, people, but I love my five-dollar thrift store finds just as much (well, almost) as the $400 ones and just because the hems aren’t rolled between the thighs of Provençal maidens doesn’t mean it can’t look chic.
But how to wear them?
If, like me, you were not blessed with a gracile neck (or more appropriately were blessed with a gracile neck which you keep safely protected under a gentle cascade of chins) then the standard snug neck wrap isn’t going to be the most flattering look.
Try these three less-intimidating looks instead:
Headscarf. British Vogue just had an article on how this is coming back into style. Frankly for girls with heart-shaped faces it never went out. Fold a square scarf diagonally and then fold the wide end over several times until the triangle is an attractive size for your melon. Tie it wrong side down over your face like a bandit, then flip it up and adjust. I find this works best with thin silk scarves as they grip better than thick ones. If you have a problem keeping them in place either use a hat pin or, less excitingly, a bobby pin. Clip on a good pair of earrings and pay attention to your eye makeup. Of course if you’re really daring, tie the ends around your neck Grace Kelly-style. Personally, I find it a bit costumey unless you’re actually driving a classic convertible.
Gypsy Belt. Fold on the diagonal and tie the small ends around your waist, centering the broad point over your hip. This is particularly good for pears and I love it beyond reason because a) I’m excited when anything can go around my waist. b) it’s a chic, flattering and unexpected way to dress up an otherwise boring dress. Tie it a little higher and tighter than you’d want to naturally, it’ll stretch throughout the day.
Ascot. I like this because it’s traditional but not quite as contrived-looking as some of the other neck styles, plus you can wear it a bit lower, which doesn’t make those of us who are fat of face look like we’re being garotted. Take the diagonal opposite scarf points and fold them towards each other, overlapping and folding back until you have a long rectangle about 5″ wide with pointed ends loosely tie around your neck, bringing one end over the other and spreading so it looks like, well, an ascot. Oh here, just look at the picture. For more fun with scarves, click here and go to playtime with your scarf to download the two-part Hermès .pdf. Happy weekend everybody, tie one on for me!