When I was in college, I had this thing for the athletic boys. I dated two (now NFL) football players, a firefighter, a professional wind surfer from NZ (who was just on the olympic team), and a professional scuba diver. And I’m the same size 24 now that I was then. We got LOOKS like you wouldn’t believe. It was glorious! Problem was, I’m a HUGE nerd. And even though the last two had degrees in mechanical and electrical engineering, they weren’t up to snuff.

After a brief stretch of “I-think-I’m-gay” boys, I stumbled upon the stash of hot nerds. All really tall, all dark curly hair, all brilliant and all absolutely as nerdy as I am. I knew that TallBoy was the one when he taught my dog to sneeze on command. There is no bigger nerd. And yet, we STILL get those looks sometimes. Bless his heart, he notices every time and makes a big point to wrap his arms around me and give me a huge smooch.

(That being said, there are the guys who let peer pressure push them around and tell them that if their girlfriend doesn’t run 5 miles per day and can’t fit into a size 0, then she’s not worthy of respect, dignity, or common human decency. However, I would rather cut off my right arm and my left boob than be with one of those guys!)

If all else fails and I can’t stop myself from having a crisis of self-image, I just remind myself: this guy is with me for a reason, and for me to second-guess his decisions is to tell him that his judgment can’t be trusted. Who am I to second guess? ;)

When I was a teen-aged lass, I knew I was overweight, and suffered very much from feeling as though I was not attractive as the smaller girls. Yet I had this, odd distant feeling in my belly, that if they could not see that I was fine, they were not worth so much as a passing thought of sorrow that they were so blind.

Out of Highschool, I started to date. More often than not, the young men I dated felt superior in some way, seeing through my fat to date me, but reminding me in their discomfort, embarrassment, or lack of desire, that I was unattractive.

I spiraled into letting myself be mistreated because I began to belive these silly men and their silly views. Then one day, I met a very… very attractive young man. Striking, Handsome, and Funny… And from the first moment he thought I was an utter Goddess.

I suppose there is a lesson somewhere in there. Mostly its about ladies (and gentlemen) who are not Vogue-Slim, having faith in their attractiveness, and thinking that people who don’t find them attractive are barely worth a shrug, let alone any kind of self-torture over not being good enough.

That said, I have dated only handsome men (save one blind date from hell), and I was out of THEIR leagues, regardless of size. I’m a pretty girl, and well-proportioned, smart as a whip, and full of Southern charm. Being fat definitely adds a nice layer of anxiety, so I tend to settle instead of going for what I really want. This strategy is SERIOUSLY flawed.

Maybe it is a geography thing, because I’m way more popular up north than I am here…

So true! I work with a couple women like that, they have perpetual stink-eye face. I’ve noticed it even when they don’t realize I’m watching them. I don’t know if they’re always in a sour mood, or that’s just how their “neutral” face is… but seeing it always prompts me to smile, so people don’t think *I’m* bitchy!

Back on topic, I think self-confidence is a huge factor. Sometimes I’ll lose a tiny amount of weight, but my jeans fit a little better and I feel sexier – inevitably I’ll attract more attention, even though the actual physical change is not noticeable. Now, we all just need to work on having that confidence at any size – presto! Hot men galore.