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The Horror, The Horror. | Manolo for the Big Girl

The Horror, The Horror.

Before you look at the boots I’m about to post, I will say to you the same thing I told Mrs Reisweig in the third grade: “I swear to you, I am not drunk.”

It’s just that sometimes a girl can have a hard week before it’s even Monday. Like maybe the gorgeous Liam Neeson looking dude who kept flirting with you turns out to be MARRIED and a CALVINIST* and a VEGAN and you go home and you get online only to find an instant message from a guy you broke up with months ago because apparently his one goal in life was to give everyone in the greater Austin area the syph and you wanted to get out before you became part of Tuskegee 90210 and you CANNOT find your other black Armani corderie d’orsay even though they were both right there this morning and that means tomorrow you’re going to have to wear your stupid Kate Spade slingbacks like an animal and OGODWHYISLIFESOHARD???

So it’s not surprising that a girl’s head can be turned by something a little out of the ordinary.

Like these from *shudder* L.A.M.B. and Marc Jacobs.

LAMB BootieMarc Jacobs

God, I’m so ashamed.

*I heart my Calvinist readers. You rock on with your Jesus Thimbles!

20 Responses to “The Horror, The Horror.”

  1. Leah September 8, 2008 at 1:11 pm #

    Oh my sweet, sweet Miss Cake. It’s ok. ::pats back soothingly, hands over gin:: Don’t worry, we all go through that phase. For me, it was driving moc’s and matching bowling bag purses. Please don’t ask.

  2. KES September 8, 2008 at 6:19 pm #

    LOL, this Calvinist is not offended but is in fact wondering what a Jesus Thimble is. Those Marc Jacobs are quite intriguing in a disturbing, “No, I really couldn’t” way.

  3. Christine September 8, 2008 at 7:16 pm #

    I think this calls for serious detox…go buy those Max Kirbidan shoes IMMEDIATELY.

  4. Jo September 8, 2008 at 8:08 pm #

    Honey, if you’re liking those shoes, you’re already suffering from advanced neurosyphillis. Sorry to have to tell you like this, but maybe I can save you from the next step: Fringed leather jacket with batwing sleeves.

  5. Plumcake September 8, 2008 at 8:09 pm #

    Jesus Thimble = those teensy tiny cups into which Your People put grapejuice to take Communion.

  6. Whitney September 8, 2008 at 9:21 pm #

    It’s a testament to the day I had explaining to Brazil that no, really, hurricanes in the Caribbean delay cargo ships leaving Miami and Jacksonville that I have a serious hunger for those Marc Jacobs boots – and I have just the skirt.

  7. Cat September 8, 2008 at 9:27 pm #

    “and you CANNOT find your other black Armani corderie d’orsay even though they were both right there this morning and that means tomorrow you’re going to have to wear your stupid Kate Spade sling backs like an animal”

    This made me laugh so hard! Thank you, Plumcake!

  8. rabrab September 8, 2008 at 10:20 pm #

    Ok, I rather like the LAMB’s. I’d like them even better if they were some other color than old-mustard yellow, and if they weren’t peep-toes (I hate peep-toes. I especially hate peep-toe *boots*.) In a rich, bright red, for example, they would display the level of wholehearted commitment to over-the-top absurdity that is necessary for “absurd” to succeed. But neither the yellow nor the black is quite there. And I think that I’ve established that I have rather … theatrical … taste.

  9. Violet September 8, 2008 at 11:08 pm #

    darling, you are not well.

  10. jennifer September 8, 2008 at 11:19 pm #

    Wait….is that sheer metallic mesh?!? Make it not be true!!

  11. Kathy September 9, 2008 at 12:00 am #

    The LAMBs might be alright if you were trying to match your ca 1902 Shingle style Queen Anne manor house. Why exactly one would want to do so escapes me, but it was the first thing that I thought of when I saw those boots. Man, they’re hideous… :)

  12. raincoaster September 9, 2008 at 3:25 am #

    Marc Jacobs is clearly a closeted Goth. One of my people!

  13. Sashibala September 9, 2008 at 7:58 am #

    Oh, my retinas!

  14. Plumcake September 9, 2008 at 3:09 pm #

    Rain, I don’t think Marc Jacobs is a *closeted* anything.

  15. marjorie September 9, 2008 at 3:16 pm #

    LOVE it when plumcake drinks the frogwater.

  16. Leah September 9, 2008 at 3:45 pm #

    HAHA! Just clicked on the MJ boots to get a closer look, and read the first line of the description:

    “Immortalize your image with these bewitchingly beautiful boots from Marc by Marc Jacobs. ”

    heehee… heee…. Very creative, Mr. or Ms. PR Copyeditor. Nice work.

  17. Catherine September 9, 2008 at 8:52 pm #

    I actually like the LAMB boot-lets! They are bizarre and I don’t see how anyone would take them seriously, but think they’d be fun to wear.

  18. AmazonAngelle September 10, 2008 at 1:33 am #

    Between the shoes and the Jesus thimble I am just speechless…

  19. SusanC September 10, 2008 at 12:54 pm #

    I agree with Amazon. Pass me a jesus thimble of frogwater!

  20. maatnofret September 15, 2008 at 3:16 am #

    I was entranced by the Marc Jacob boots earlier this month. Then I realized I could get the exact same look with a pair of pumps and a set of fishnet knee highs.