Y’all. If you live in a mandatory evacuation zone and haven’t yet left for higher ground you need to get the hell out while you still can. Seriously. Don’t make rescue workers risk their lives for you because you’re stubborn. If you need a place to stay, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I can make arrangements for you in Austin. I mean it.
Do you know what happens to people who die in storms when they should have evacuated? They have to spend their afterlife in Juicy Couture.
Don’t let that happen. Email me.I love all my readers –yes, even the one who couldn’t take the nun joke– and I will be mightily pissed if any of you die.