I’m home and I thought we could celebrate my triumphant return to The Greatest State in the Union (until we secede) by giving all my precious lambkins a little Monday Hotness, courtesy of my pal, the always glamorous Stephanie O.
But first I think we need to have disclaimers, so without further ado, the following people should look away.
The bishop, the presiding bishop, any and all archbishops and anyone who wears a pointy hat as part of their job.
Any member of my family who might still accidentally respect me.
Everyone who is tempted to get all up in my cow-stabbing kool-aid about the cruelty of bull fighting (and I agree, but it doesn’t stop The Hot)
Every guy I dated whose face, in the heat of a moment, was painted in disappointment when I said I Don’t Do That, Not Even When I’m Sober.
The two guys I’m kind of dating now, because seriously. I Don’t Do That. Not even when I’m sober.
There. I think that’s about it. Are we ready?
I give you Cayetano Ordonez, top matador, Armani model and one hot piece of azucar. AND HE HAS A BROTHER. Who fought off –WITH HIS BARE HANDS– a bull that was attacking Cayetano.
So I say to you, Hermanos Ordonez, call me. Seriously. Because you know that thing I said up there wrt the Not Doing Things? Totally a lie.