Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Renaissance Edition
You all know how this works. I post a pic, you send your best captions in via comments, and next week I declare a winner. Between the proximity to Halloween, my personal fondness for Renaissance Faires (hey, that’s where I met Mr. Twistie!), and…well…really I just liked this pic and wanted to see what it would inspire…so here it is:
Ready…set…snark!
“Bye bye boys! Have fun storming the castle!”
“I don’t care if she’s the bloody Queen of England, purple is my color!”
And now presenting for your amusement the first ever performance of the chicken dance.
And now,lords and ladies, presenting for your amusement, the first ever performance of the chicken dance.
“Purple unflatteringe to Redde heads?” cried Lady Penelope. “Why, thou canst see how well my swelling alabaster Bosome looks under their combined influence! Speak not such Nonnesense to me in future, or look to thine neck!”
What do you mean it’s not period?
Hopeful candidates for the open auditions for the live version of Shrek begin queuing.
We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
‘Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re no friends of mine…safety dance…
HAHAHA… Ah, the safety dance…
I laughed…
“Yes, my sonar range is excellent. The mosquito is six feet behind your left shoulder.”
The red-crested purple dilophosaurus, seen here in its natural habitat, is noted for its habit of exposing its neck and flaring its ear-flaps in order to attract a mate. Let’s observe!
Dost thou callest a shrew?
“Uh, that’s LADY Barney to you, peasant!”
As Gwennie admired the blacksmith’s smoking hot… iron… she knew it was worth the price of admission.
“Who dost thou calleth a wench, prithee?”
“For I am the Purple Fairy, and none shall gainsay my right, nay, my privilege in wearing what hat I do desire to!”
“Don’t forget to bring back that shrubbery!”
Oh, Honey, no. The purple is fine: that whole thing about it only being for the Queen is a Ren faire myth. But Princess seams on a bodice are totally wrong, as are metal grommets. And get some steel boning, not that plastic stuff, so the girls will sit up, not ooze out. Your smock, which you probably call a chemise, has the neck and wrists gathered into drawstring casings, or is that elastic? Either way, wrong! Get a nice square necked smock. And what’s that on your head? It looks like a snood mated with an attifet…upside down.
Oops. I don’t think that’s really the kind of snark you had in mind. Sorry for slipping into Costume Police mode.
That’s perfectly fine, Margo. It’s not the sort of caption I was looking for, but it certainly tickled my funny bone and echoed a lot of thoughts I had when I first found it.
Besides, I’m sure Plumcake will take heart at learning that even we history geek girls can Honey, no with the best of them.
Margo said:
“”And what’s that on your head? It looks like a snood mated with an attifet…upside down.”"
To me, it looks like a Tudor era “french hood” worn FAR FAR too far back on the head because,you know, we want to show off the bangs.
/costume geek
Actual caption:
“Wot, wot! Is that a pickle merchant I have espied!!!!!???? QUICK! Fetch me my coinpurse!”
(which may be too much of an ‘In joke’ for non-ren faire goers….)