Comments on:

By: Andrea S.

Andrea S. — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 03:06:15 +0000

Just as a quick aside, I also think that if you’re not into this tradition, that’s totally cool too – this is just the way I feel about it. :-) (PS – if you want to see the proposal, type “sonny and andrea” into YouTube, it’s the first one that comes up. :-D

By: Andrea S.

Andrea S. — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 03:00:49 +0000

My fiance proposed to me two weeks ago, in front of 350 people at the Renaissance Faire we both work at (and where we met). He presented me with four dozen roses and his grandmother’s engagement ring. My family was there, his family was there, and it was a truly wonderful occasion. Especially because I knew he had spoken with my father (though he COMPLETELY surprised me and I am rather an idiot for not noticing anything). By making that gesture, he let me know that he respects my family’s roots, and wants to build a healthy foundation for the family we will have together. In most (healthy, if not normal) family dynamics, this tradition has a beautiful place in cementing (and proving) a man’s bond to the woman he loves. Or the other way around. :-)

By: pinkyb

pinkyb — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:05:24 +0000

What century are we in? Ask for permission? Hell, no! Are you an adult person who can make your own decisions? If not, why are you getting married? Why not let your parents arrange a marriage for you?
Old-fashioned, traditional, whatever you want to call it, it’s still a throwback to a time when you were your father’s property and that property was being transferred to your (future) husband.
I’m over 50, and even when I was in my 20s I was opposed to the idea, as was my father. He would have like to approve of the man I married, but if he didn’t, he would have figured I could make my own decisions for my own life.

By: Isay

Isay — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 04:00:39 +0000

While I think it is a quaint tradition, it begs the question; What if Dad says “no”? And worse, what if Dad says “yes” and I say “no”?

By: Twistie

Twistie — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 16:29:47 +0000

Maybe it’s just me, Alana Sullivan, but I’m curious to know how asking ‘may I’ is not asking permission.

By: Alana Sullivan

Alana Sullivan — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 00:26:53 +0000

Not asking permission, my man said “Sir, may I have your daughter’s hand in marriage?” It cemented their relationship.

By: Style Spy

Style Spy — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 22:58:45 +0000

Either way is fine depending on the feelings of the bride — the test would be whether or not the prospective groom made the right call. Personally, any man who asked my father for either permission or blessing before proposing to me would get the ol’ heave-ho — I’m the only one who gets to make that decision about me. (Of course, being as my father has been dead for four years, there would obviously be other, more pressing reasons there for disqualifying said suitor.)

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 02:35:40 +0000

I was the one who popped the question, and certainly didn’t ask his parents’ permission or blessing ahead of time. Ten years and two kids on, everything seems to be just fine:) If he had asked my parents’ permission or blessing, he would have spent those 10 years with someone else!

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 02:34:27 +0000

I asked my husband and didn’t ask his parents’ permission or blessing. Ten years and two kids on, everything seems to be just fine:) If he had asked my parents’ permission or blessing, he would have spent those 10 years with someone else!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 11:41:54 +0000

My boyfriend wanted to ask my dad first, but I asked him not to. I haven’t lived at home for several years now, and have lived with my boyfriend for 2 years. I don’t need my dad’s permission. It definitely falls under the category of ‘silly tradition’ for me. We’re going to have a lot more fun surprising them with the news in a week or two.