There’s a new sheriff in tubby town. Ladies of the Manolosphere, I give you Eve Bridge.
How to dress – Advice for plump women
However you’d better not wear too wide clothes. Fluffy skirts with some tiers, pans and jeans in the line of your waist are not for you.
You should choose half tight, straight clothes. You can seem thinner wearing long scarves, something with side seams and loose-lying belts.
Shoes with high heels can make you visually unstable so you’d better wear middle heels.
Height is very important. Tall women cannot wear those things that can small women.
What length to chose? Too long clothes enlarge your figure. Short clothes make you look smaller and wider. The most suitable length is a little bit below knees. You shouldn’t bare fat knees even if it’s fashionable.
If your size is bigger than 20, XXL, you’d better chose checkerboard or striped cloth with small tonal ornament. Slanting stripes or checks make your figure smaller. Large stripes are not for fat women.
Black color is not always suitable for fat women especially sparkling. White color should be used for blouses which are hidden under jacket or waistcoat and for collar. The following colors are perfect for fat women: peachy, beige, yellow, yellow-brown. You’d better avoid contrast. Pay attention to cloth of light, soft, silver, reserved but expressive colors. Your clothes color shouldn’t make dull and monotonous expression. Smooth color change will help you create expressive image of fat but elegant woman.
Man, even taking into account the probable translation woes, is there a bus short enough for this whackjob?
Today Plumcake wants to know:
What part of the above article did you find MOST hilariously offensive?