Archive - November, 2008

Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Wild Party Edition: The Results

You know, I really love my job.

Last weekend I handed you this to work with:

Hairspray Girls and our fine readers came back fighting. You referenced drag queens, John Waters, Ab Fab, and even your family trees. This was not an easy choice to make because you all had funny and interesting takes on the matter.

In the end, though, there can be but one winner. In a spectacular case of nepotism gone horribly right, the winner is our own – our very, very own – Plumcake for this painfully accurate bit of truth-telling:

Just another day at the office for Twistie, Francesca and Plumcake.

No, really. It’s not even because I feared her wrath should someone else win.

Congratulations, Plumcake, and thanks to everyone who played!

Er…Plumcake? Now will you stop holding that stiletto heel to my cat’s head?

Wonderful

Giuseppe Zanotti - E7041 (Ivory) - Footwear

These sandals by Giuseppe Zanotti are more than 50% off, a savings of more than 300 of the American dollars.

Francesca wants them. Deeply and carnally.

If you get the “item no longer available” page, do not despair; it may come back.

Winter Hats!

Protect your pretty headses! All these hats are selling for under $130 (some much less). Click on the pictures to be brought to the correct page:

Mariella Burani! Wool!

Burberry! Wool, angora, and cashmere!

Armani! Mohair!

Dolce & Gabbana! Wool!

Mariella Burani for Amuleti! Wool!

Stay toasty! xoxo

Big Girls in Art: Linda Carter Holman

Francesca just loves the opportunity to highlight the work of the living artists. Thank you to our reader Marty in Phoenix for sending Francesca information about the lively works of the American artist Linda Carter Holman – who, Marty says, is herself a Big Girl!

Prints also available here.

“Bucking Bonny”

“Girls of Paradise”

“The Reader”

The Big Question: That’s it! I Quit! Edition

There’s a new sheriff in tubby town. Ladies of the Manolosphere, I give you Eve Bridge.

How to dress – Advice for plump women

You are not recommended to wear tight clothes not to stress your figure. A tight skirt will show your hips and they will look wider. If you wear a tight sweater your large breasts will look massive.

However you’d better not wear too wide clothes. Fluffy skirts with some tiers, pans and jeans in the line of your waist are not for you.

You should choose half tight, straight clothes. You can seem thinner wearing long scarves, something with side seams and loose-lying belts.

Shoes with high heels can make you visually unstable so you’d better wear middle heels.

Height is very important. Tall women cannot wear those things that can small women.

What length to chose? Too long clothes enlarge your figure. Short clothes make you look smaller and wider. The most suitable length is a little bit below knees. You shouldn’t bare fat knees even if it’s fashionable.

If your size is bigger than 20, XXL, you’d better chose checkerboard or striped cloth with small tonal ornament. Slanting stripes or checks make your figure smaller. Large stripes are not for fat women.

Black color is not always suitable for fat women especially sparkling. White color should be used for blouses which are hidden under jacket or waistcoat and for collar. The following colors are perfect for fat women: peachy, beige, yellow, yellow-brown. You’d better avoid contrast. Pay attention to cloth of light, soft, silver, reserved but expressive colors. Your clothes color shouldn’t make dull and monotonous expression. Smooth color change will help you create expressive image of fat but elegant woman.

Man, even taking into account the probable translation woes, is there a bus short enough for this whackjob?

Today Plumcake wants to know:

What part of the above article did you find MOST hilariously offensive? 

Igigi and Manolo for the Big Girl!


Manolo for the Big Girl and Igigi!

Manolo for the Big Girl and Igigi!

The Price Thing, Again.

Oh y’all. I feel like we have to do this again. The price thing.

Listen, we get it. Boy do we get it.

The economy is not where one might hope it would be, our homes aren’t worth the shoeboxes they contain and the days of wine and roses are being temporarily replaced by the months of malt liquor and ramen noodles (so basically it’s college, but without the risk of getting the chlams from your RA.) It is not in everyone’s budget to spend a thousand dollars or even a hundred dollars on shoes, and –to steal a line from Stuart Smalley– that’s okay.

Every superfantastic person I know is superfantastic on a budget.

That budget may allow for buying a pair of $600 shoes without batting an eye, or it may not. I can tell you the last time I spent $600 on a single pair of shoes I batted my eyes so hard I caused a small tornado in Kansas and I’m a relatively well-off girl with no kids or mortgage who writes about the damn things for a living. So trust me, we do not think you are a bad person if you truly cannot afford good shoes.

However.

The Manolo Empire will always live by the rule that cheap shoes are a false economy, so we do not recommend cheap shoes. Ever.

We believe it is far more economical (and environmentally friendly, and ethical and stylish and…) to save and own two pairs of quality shoes that will outlive you than an entire closet of plastic and cardboard that will need replacing every year or two. You may feel free to disagree personally, but that is the stance of this blog and it’s not changing.

Does that mean you need to go out and buy every pair of $2,000 crocodile kicks I send up the flagpole? YES. Wait, I mean NO. (Wait, what? No? Really? But what about my commish? -ed.) This is a fashion blog and fashion is aspirational. There’s always an element of fantasy, of daydream and can’t we all use a good daydream right about now?

So once again, this is how most folks in shoebiz break down the price points. Remember these are the original manufacturer prices, so if you find a pair of elaphe skin Jimmy Choos on megaclearance for $90, that doesn’t make them inexpensive shoes.

inexpensive = under $100
designer = $100- $300
premium designer = $300-$600
ultra premium = $600+

“Inexpensive” you have your lower-end department store shoes, Payless, Target, Wal-Mart, teetering on the upper level of inexpensive is Nine West, DSW etc. I do not say it is impossible to find an investment shoe at this level, but I have not come across one.

“Designer” will generally get you decently-made department store house brands and your entry-level luxury lines (Kate Spade, Tory Burch and Juicy Couture) there are some excellent values to be had in this range, particularly if you pay attention to construction and not the label. If all your shoes come from this category, pat yourself on the back, you’re doing well. Stuart Weitzman, Delman, and Cole Haan are reliable heavy hitters in this price range.

“Premium Designer” is where the committed shoe junkie lives. In this category your shoes will be crafted in Italy, France or Spain of excellent materials. Most of the designers who occupy the “Ultra Premium” category have a home base here including most non-runway shoes from Manolo, Chanel, Dior, Jimmy Choo and Prada.

“Ultra Premium” is the shoe as art form. These are often made of exotic skins or feathers that are no longer allowed to be collected (they get them from the archives of old feather houses) these shoes will be limited edition and usually available in boutique only.

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