Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

January 6, 2009

Plumcake Educates the Yankee Aggressors

Filed under: Honey. No. — Miss Plumcake @ 2:21 pm

Okay, in order to fully appreciate this post, all you unfortunates whose parents didn’t love you enough to let you be born in the South (blessyourhearts) will need a little pronunciation guide.  The word we are going to learn today is “Mess.”

Mess, when pronounced correctly, has no fewer than three syllables. Real pros can stretch it out to four, and I’ve heard if you can make it to five the Junior League will waive your dues for a year, but to avoid injury we’ll just start out with the triple play.

Ready? Say it with me now:


GOOD!  Now let’s use it in a sentence. I assume you know how to say “tragic” by yourself.

This is a hot mess


  1. Dear god, that really is a mess. Mess. May-uh-suh, anyway you say it… A horrible wreck of pajamas and business wear experiments gone wrong. Where on EARTH did you find these?

    Comment by DentD — January 6, 2009 @ 3:52 pm

  2. If I needed extra fabric to make a emergency tent while on safari, I would be glad to have these clothes. Otherwise, no.

    Comment by JR — January 6, 2009 @ 4:42 pm

  3. What sort of crimes against humanity did the model commit to deserve that? She could have burned down my classic car and I still wouldn’t do that to her. Well, probably. I loved that car.

    Comment by sabrina — January 6, 2009 @ 5:23 pm

  4. I have to disagree with the hovertext– there’s nothing hot about that mess.

    And can you imagine what it would look like if you used the pockets on the gray one for carrying things?

    Comment by daisyj — January 6, 2009 @ 6:44 pm

  5. Volume: UR DOIN IT RONG

    Comment by Violet — January 7, 2009 @ 1:55 am

  6. Why would they sully the name of palazzo pants by pairing them with such crimes against nature as those tops?! There’s a way to do “flowy” with palazzo and this is NOT IT.

    And thank you Plumcake, my Alabama-born-mother’s influence showed up when I LITERALLY put my hand up to clutch some pearls and said “Oh my wuh-erd! Sweet baby Jesus!”

    Comment by De — January 7, 2009 @ 9:38 am

  7. I… I….have no words.

    Comment by ChloeMireille — January 7, 2009 @ 11:27 am

  8. Holy Omar the Tentmaker, Batman!

    (cries…a lot)

    Comment by Twistie — January 7, 2009 @ 12:32 pm

  9. All my North Jersey upbringing allows me to say is “oy vey!”

    Comment by AquaMarine — January 7, 2009 @ 12:34 pm

  10. Neiman Marcus? A Southern chain, I believe. Their “special sizes” department – don’t you love being special? – always includes a few of these monstrosities.

    Maybe if you were over six feet tall with a personality as big as could be…nah, not even then.

    Comment by Tanya — January 7, 2009 @ 1:45 pm

  11. I wasn’t aware I needed to stock up on formal Pierrot costumes. Thanks, Neiman Marcus!

    Comment by Chicklet — January 7, 2009 @ 2:36 pm

  12. I just received the Spring preview catalog from Silhouettes. Half the stuff in their looks like a model was swallowed whole by a bolt of fabric. Jeebus. I thought we were past the mumu/Omar de la Tentmaker stage….

    Comment by Omnibus Driver — January 7, 2009 @ 3:40 pm

  13. you know, i have to wonder what the model was thinking when they handed her these two mostrosities. maybe, “what did i do?”

    Comment by firefey — January 7, 2009 @ 4:37 pm

  14. LOOK!! It’s ICKY MIYAKE!!!!

    Yes, I shouted. Sorry.

    Comment by La BellaDonna — January 7, 2009 @ 6:38 pm

  15. Those outfits are pure crap.

    I used to work for Saks Fifth Avenue’s call center, which handled catalog orders. It was not uncommon to find horrible outfits like those in the books, and us gals would have a great time making fun of the clothes. Guess which oufits were always on backorder for months?

    Comment by Bree — January 7, 2009 @ 7:59 pm

  16. I love the shoes on the right model though. (I grew up where if you couldn’t say something nice, an adult sloshed you on the side of the head.)

    Comment by Chaser — January 8, 2009 @ 4:38 am

  17. Oh, look! The lady on the left is wearing Dudley Dursley’s old school uniform!

    Comment by The Mayor of Bethville — January 8, 2009 @ 11:47 am

  18. May…uh…..suh? OUCH! Sorry, raised by Pittsburghers, can’t do it.

    Were those outfits a home ec project gone bad?

    Comment by dcsurfergirl — January 8, 2009 @ 9:34 pm

  19. My real name is one syllable. But, having lived in the south for several of my childhood years, I’ve learned to stretch it out to at least three. I always love the way my name sounds whenever I talk to someone from the south. Reminds me of the good ol’ days.

    Those outfits. Horrr-eee-blay!!

    Thanks for the laugh, Miss Plum. You’re always good for it!

    Comment by JayKay — January 9, 2009 @ 1:51 am

  20. I…
    uh, actually I … uh… would totally wear the TOP on the left, with another, narrower, slightly longer black tunic layered under it, leggings and stompy knee-high boots, and a large black or darker grey scarf. It’s those trousers that take it right over the Heinous boundary.

    Comment by Katharine — January 9, 2009 @ 10:41 am

  21. Dear god. They are beyond words.

    Comment by Fatadelic — January 9, 2009 @ 9:54 pm

  22. These had to have been conceived by persons who live in caves and don’t like to be anywhere near other people and want all to live solitary lonely lives as outcasts. Their thinking must be that if people look like escapees from clown school, others won’t want to be near them either.

    Comment by ML — January 10, 2009 @ 2:28 am

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