The Big Question: Novelty Socks as Psychological Cop-Out Edition
By PlumcakeWas listening to Simon Doonan’s interview with Renee Montagne this morning, discussing the discussion (how meta!) of Michelle Obama’s inauguration gown. I’m saying she’ll probably go with Narciso Rodriguez –as she did on election night– or Oscar de la Renta (although I wouldn’t rule out Armani or Reem Acra) and it’ll be lovely and tasteful and probably just interesting enough to be, well, interesting without evoking liberal guilt or alienating the folks in Ioway.
Honestly, I don’t care. What I do care about is this little tidbit from Doonan.
“I remember years ago I interviewed Hardy Amies who designed for the Queen of England. He gave the Queen of England her iconic look, that sort of frumpy dress with the matching coat and the hat and the purse. And I said to him ‘How did you come up with this iconic look for the Queen?’ which was for many years criticized, how she could look chic-er if she let Parisian designers design her and blah blah blah.Hardy Amies looked at me through glasses with great withering contempt.
He said ‘Young man, the Queen of England must always appear to be friendly and appealing, and if she were to look chic she would become unfriendly and unappealing because there is an unkindness to chic.‘”
And then it hit me.
Is THAT why so many big girls avoid chic? Because they want to look friendly?
It’s undeniable. There is something unapproachable, something extremely, unapologetically “F*** You” about being truly chic.
I mean it makes sense. So many women, especially women who were chubby as girls, have this compulsion to appear friendly and nice at all times. Non-threatening. As if it’s our duty to make up for the sin of fatness by being extra-pleasant and extra-unassuming so maybe people will like us. Avoiding chicness is a way to say “yes, I know my place. I won’t get above my station.”
I think the gift of being a singularly unpleasant child –which, make no mistake, I was– was that I knew people weren’t going to like me. Outré or meek, the result would be the same, and outré was much more fun. Eventually I became a halfway decent person (only just) but I still don’t see the need for “dressing friendly.”
Do you know how I let people know I’m friendly? By being friendly. Not by being the grown damn woman in a Pooh sweatshirt and novelty socks.
So my question today is a little tough-love to the big girl who knows she doesn’t dress her best. It’s not a place for excuses (it’s not my lifestyle/I have kids/I’m broke) but an honest question and maybe a chance for some self-evaluation.
Today Plumcake wants to know:
Hey! You un-chic dressers! What are you afraid of?
January 16th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
I wear novelty socks, but I wouldn’t say I’m un-chic. I WOULD say that I’m a student, and I wear jeans and concert t-shirts pretty much every day, and thus need proper socks, and not trouser socks. And honestly, if you’re going to be wearing socks, why not have ones with little skulls, or polkadots, or argyle on them? Nobody sees them under my Docs anyway. And I don’t think anyone in a Clash t-shirt is considered to be “friendly” or “approachable” so obviously that’s not why I do it. I CAN be chic, and I have no problem doing so, but…I spend five hours a day in classes, and ten more buried in my books. And then another five working as a camera-woman. Chic is not high on my list of things to manage when I wake up the morning, after four hours of sleep. So if knowing I have on fun socks makes me a little happier in myself, I don’t see why you should accuse me of trying to curry favor with the outside world.
January 16th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I know I do chic at times, but I think I’m afraid of getting a piece (or an outfit) that I can’t carry off. Or rather that I could, but I’m not confident enough about it even though I know I look good. I don’t want to be worn by my clothes, so I stick with some safe old standbys.
January 16th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Honestly, I’m lazy. When I was single, or really, before I had kids, I was a much better dresser, but even then, I was too lazy to put much effort into accessories and things like that unless it was a truly special occasion. Also, I was raised by a hippie. My mother wears no make-up (rarely a bra, although that is not an option for me), men’s jeans, and flannel shirts. I had no “fashion” role-model, especially growing up in a “nice” midwestern town filled with “nice” women.
I guess if I’m afraid of anything it’s of wasting money on something that never leaves my closet. And I think a lot of plus-sized women avoid spending a lot of money on their clothes in the hopes that they’ll be wearing a smaller size soon. I used to do that, but I’ve learned that even if I DO lose weight, I still need clothes that fit me NOW!
Though I am now a mother and consider myself a nice person, I try to avoid the Pooh sweatshirts (or really, any silkscreened shirt). When I was a teacher a friend always teased me about “teacher” sweaters–those seasonal sweaters teachers always seem to wear. And for the record, I never had one of those, either.
And sometimes, I just don’t think what is “chic” is my style. Although right now I will be the first to admit that I have NO style. I’ll get around to it when I’m no longer breastfeeding and changing diapers.
But there are plenty of thin women who aren’t chic. I don’t think this is really a “big” girl issue. Some people care more about being fashionable than others.
January 16th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
I can be chic when I want to. But honestly, when you’re out grocery shopping and picking up prescriptions and running errands, do we really need to look like a suburban runway model in high heels?
For me, it’s not about trying to look like the friendly fatty. It’s about comfort. And if that means jeans, a Pooh shirt, and novetly socks, so be it!
January 16th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
What I notice with consternation is women in my older age bracket (post-menopausal) who start to dress in a distinctly juvenile fashion, i.e. knee socks and flat Mary Janes. Maybe they think it’s youthful, but what it expresses to me is a kind of post-sexuality. No, I don’t think older women should be sporting deep cleavage during the day, but c’mon…!
January 16th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
I’m afraid of discomfort. High heels, pantyhose, spanx, fancy bras, makeup, hair stuff. It’s all very tiring, and I have other things I have to do in my life.
Expense is a significant factor too. If I can buy a pair of knit pants from Lands End, and wear them once a week, they last for about 14 years. I know this from experience. And then I can take the money I’ve saved, and buy books or music or wonderful food or presents for my friends.
January 16th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Jeez, ladies. Plumcake should rest her case by reading the comments above. You’ve sung the “I’m too busy, too stressed, too broke, I just want to be comfortable . . .” litany just like she said. It all sounds like one big excuse to me, and I believe Plumcake has hit the nail right on the head with this post. So remind me again, why don’t you want to be and look fabulous?
January 16th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
maybe because I am in IOWAY! (and very happily so as I get to live around people who are genuinely nice and caring and not just superficially ‘gracious’)
And, we are the home of the 1st family’s elect chocolate cookie of choice.
January 16th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
While we’re declaring a ban on Pooh (would that we could), could I also lobby for the banishment of pigtails on anyone older than 11? See, it’s the infantilization thing I don’t get. I cannot for the life of me understand why a grown woman would want to wear the same clothes her 8-year old daughter might.
And can I just point out, for the hundred-millionth time in my life, that you don’t have to be dressed to the teeth in stilettos and designer duds to look chic. It can be done in jeans and a t-shirt, but not in a t-shirt with a Disney character on it.
January 17th, 2009 at 12:00 am
Nothing at all, I just like novelty socks. xD
January 17th, 2009 at 12:09 am
So remind me again, why don’t you want to be and look fabulous?
Because it isn’t important. Seriously, who needs an excuse not to spend money and time on clothes? If you’re into it, fine, but not everyone is. I, for one, read this blog for the wit and the pretty pictures – it has nothing to do with anything resembling real life.
January 17th, 2009 at 12:14 am
G-Dog, I am a HUGE fan of Iowa. Why? Three words: Marion Robert Morrison. I am almost embarrassingly obsessed with John Wayne. I’ve got a movie still of him in my office and as far as I’m concerned, any state that can sprout a man like that is a-ok in my book.
January 17th, 2009 at 12:21 am
choosing to not be chic does not automatically mean schlumpy and/or unfortunately cutesy.
Chic, to me, is about being trendy and cutting edge. Ick.
January 17th, 2009 at 12:23 am
and while we’re at it – I know this is a big girls blog, but why aren’t you asking the same question about all the thin and average sized women who choose not to be chic if they’re compensating for something too?
January 17th, 2009 at 12:36 am
I’m a thin woman and I am, frankly, far too lazy to be taking stuff to and from the dry cleaner’s all the time, and also too lazy to iron. Therefore, I tend to buy clothes that are machine washable and don’t need to be ironed. This means that I pass up a lot of chic, pretty outfits because I know that I would wear them once and then they would sit in a heap in the laundry basket because I would never bother to take them to the cleaner’s. However, I do not wear anything resembling Pooh sweatshirts (or sweatshirts at all, for that matter), novelty socks, or the like. As Style Spy pointed out, infantilization is not attractive, and one can manage to look chic in jeans and a t-shirt or sweater.
January 17th, 2009 at 12:42 am
We should all strive to wear clothes that delight us.
January 17th, 2009 at 1:11 am
I’m not afraid of anything. If I was afraid, I’d wear what everybody else thinks I should.
January 17th, 2009 at 2:57 am
MMMkay, so clearly I am a newcomer and let me say upfront I have not yet had time to read through alll the archives, but I really enjoyed reading this post here and I had a comment that wasn’t already said…
Because I don’t have the first clue how to put together the whole look…I cannot afford a personal shopper, and up until recently, there has been very little chic clothing available to the fatty with an average budget, so I guess, I never developed the style gene due to the fact that all the chic styles were not intended for me…and now that there is some of it available, like I said, part of it is because I just don’t really know how to pull it all together and make it work, and part of it is because I still believe it is not really “for me” but rather a bone that’s been thrown to me by some skinny fashion designer somewhere…hmmm, that was self revealing…but just as I typed it…it is true, I feel that contempt…errr, so maybe this will be my last post here…lol…anyway, thanks.
January 17th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Basically, because it is no one else’s damn business how I dress. I am approaching 60 & I live in jeans, t-shirts, &/or hoodies, I love novelty socks because they amuse ME (I am disabled, do not go out to work, only shopping, to the laundramat, walking around for exercise, & I spend a lot of time caring for a three-year-old). I like what I like, & have had a few Mickey or Pooh tees, though these days I run more to fantasy/scifi tees, fat rights tees, or Harry Potter, &, considering that it is currently running -10 to -25 outside, I will be damned if I will apologize for possessing & wearing plenty of sweatshirts & dressing in layers I don’t care about fashion, never have, I am myself, &, insofar as this damn culture/goverment of ours will permit, I intend to own my own body & my own life & I do not care if I offend anyone else by doing so. Personally, I like to collect t-shirts from diners around the country, some of which I see on Food Network’s “Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives.” I thrive on being uncool.
Speaking of shirts, I would like to know why a site which claims to be writing about clothes for “big girls” only sells its own t-shirts in junior sizes? If that is not sending mixed messages, I don’t know what is.
January 17th, 2009 at 10:08 am
I’m working on “business appropriate without getting mistaken for the admin.” When I have that nailed, I can possibly think about trying chic.
See, I have really no idea what either looks like. I’m learning, slowly, but I’m an engineer. All the stereotypes about boy-engineers apply to girl-engineers, too. (Obligatory ‘just a stereotype, often but not always true, yadda yadda yadda’ – if you’re a she-engineer and you can dress yourself well, I applaud you, but I’m not there yet.) Right now, I’m trying my best to find a variant on the lab-wide uniform of slacks and buttoned shirts that works for me. (I know that I would kill to find a nice shirt of non-transparent fabric with princess seams that did *not* have 3/4 sleeves.)
I suppose it may be possible to be chic at the office. It would help if I knew what chic looked like. Does it look like people working in advertising on Madison Ave? Because there’s that whole “appropriate for your field” thing, like how bankers shouldn’t dress like artists and visa versa. Is it a synonym for ’style’? Can my chic be different from your chic, or does it have a more fixed meaning like “cuddly” does?
January 17th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Teleri, I think that everybody’s chic is different.
Let’s start with the dictionary definition:
As an adjective:
1. Conforming to the current fashion; stylish: chic clothes; a chic boutique.
OK, this one doesn’t allow for a lot of individuality; chic is what’s fashionable, no matter whether you like it, look good in it or wear it well. However, since there are so many different flavors of “stylish” there’s still room for my chic to be different from your chic
2. Adopting or setting current fashions and styles; sophisticated: chic, well-dressed young executives. See Synonyms at fashionable.
This one allows for more individual taste, since it includes *setting* fashions as well as following them.
As a noun:
1. The quality or state of being stylish; fashionableness.
2. Sophistication in dress and manner; elegance.
This is the one that allows the most leeway: sophistication, elegance. Those qualities aren’t dependent on current fashion trends; they are as much or more qualities of personality. Audrey Hepburn was chic in capris and a boat-neck top not because the clothes were elegant, but because she was elegant.
[French, probably from German Schick, skill, fitness, elegance, from Middle High German (sich) schicken, to outfit (oneself), fit in.]
January 17th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
I think there is something to Plumcake’s argument. Big women are taught to try to look small or disappear, and by dressing, you stand out.
Let’s deconstruct this a bit. What do you mean by chic? When I think chic, I think well-made, well-tailored clothing and well-chosen accessories. The last part you can do with taste and thought. The first part is nearly impossible once you get in sizes over 18, period. It’s not like we big big girls have narciso or oscar or even Banana Republic lining up to dress us. You can call that excuse if you want, but it is not. Very little effort even on this site gets put into the large large woman: the clothing there are cheaply made with cheap fabric–hardly worth tailoring. The assumption in larger sizes is that you are matronly, which means you are a grandma, and who doesn’t love a grandma in a pooh shirt???? (I plan to be martini-wielding great-aunt–grandma is not an option).
Then there’s the fact that most large large women have had it beat into their heads since they were big little girls that they couldn’t be chic if they tried and/or they were belittled every time they did try (happens to me a lot still). Chic is for the little sylphlike darlings that all the boys are daffy about and all the teachers hover over saying “don’t push little Suzy during tag because she might fall and break” while nobody is protecting you, a bigger girl, from anybody or anything. Big little girls get treated like workhorses, little little girls get treated like trinkets and ornaments. Big little girls grow up thinking their role is to carry on the world’s work. To this day, if I show up at my mother’s looking nice, she’ll look at me, with tragic disappointment in her eyes, and say “You’d look so nice if you just lost 100 pounds.” (Of course, losing 100 pounds is really easy: thin people do it every day just by cutting out snacks and walking more!)
There’s a difference, I think, between nice and pleasing, women are pressured to be pleasing and I think fat women are doubly pressured to seem pleasing as a social cover for their fat. Their fat is a sign to everybody that they are just greedy, greedy and awful you know, because women who tend to their own needs (like by eating) are…well, not thinking about other people’s needs (men, children) the way they are supposed to be. By smiling at the world and reassuring, fat women clear themselves in the eyes of people who assume selfish and greedy. So while I am with Plumcake in saying “Frack that crap, life is too short” I don’t think, given how little really nice clothing exists for big women, that it’s just a simple matter of deciding to put your fierce self on. The social and material barriers are real.
January 17th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Oh, and poor Winnie the Pooh, one of my favorite childhood friends, taking his knocks here. Stay strong, Pooh, old buddy.
January 17th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
What am I afraid of?
Unlike many respondents, I am afraid of something. I’m afraid to drop good money on a foundational piece of clothing because in a year, it won’t fit. I will have gained or lost enough weight that any garment that fits me properly now won’t fit then.
I know a lot of women who hold off buying clothing because they are waiting for weight loss. Back in 2002, I decided that was dull and dropped a small fortune (for me) on pieces I could wear to my job at the Department of State. When I was hired, I wore a size 18/20. In 18 months, I had only been able to wear those clothes half the time. First, I gained weight from stress (up to a tight 22). Then I went on a diet and lost weight (14/16). Then I got injured and gained it back, plus more (still 22 but really kidding myself). 75% of the value of my wardrobe was tied up in 2 custom made 4 piece suits, sized 18/20. It broke my heart to see them sitting in my closet while I wore the same stretchy wrap skirt or pleated olive pants I bought second hand.
So I gave up. I bought cheap, schlumpy clothing. My rationale isn’t that big women always look bad, so why bother? I’ve met very well dressed women of my own size and even larger. But they all have in common that their weight has been stable for years, allowing them time to accumulate a wardrobe that works for them. For me, I’d have to accumulate *five* wardrobes that work for me to deal with all the weight swings I’ve seen in the past decade – I’ve been every size from 12 (juniors) to 24 (womens) in less than 10 years. The foundation of looking good is clothing that fits, and it takes all my energy just to keep myself in a few outfits that aren’t too big or too small. I generally buy things that are on clearance because I’m unwilling to spend a lot of money on a piece that I intend to wear for only a few months. I wear them until they are basically scraps then I buy something new in whatever size I am now.
January 17th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I’ll throw in part of an answer, and I’m someone who does chic on a regular basis.
Sizing.
I have tiny feet. Seriously, the fifth graders I teach all have larger feet than I do. It’s very difficult and often terribly expensive to find shoes that will complement a look. I recently found some and they are worth their weight in gold to me.
I am short and short waisted. Most petite trousers are not cut correctly for my proportions. I’ve learned to buy cropped or capri in the regular size and pray that it hits at a flattering level on my shin or ankle. Skirts, especially straight skirts, can have similar problems of proportion for the waist to hip.
For some reason, if you’re heavy, manufacturers assume you have a large rack. I don’t. I do have a wide back and broad shoulders. I end up in t-shirts more often than blouses because for me the majority of the material is in the wrong place.
I either spending a great deal of money in alterations, or going with a more casual style than is natural to me.
January 17th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
What do I fear? Why, I’m glad you asked.
I fear being sneered at by salespeople, even though I know that their disdain says more about them than about me.
I fear the sinking, horrible feeling I got, why, just three days ago, when I went to Macy’s and even their women’s department – which used to carry things in my size that WERE chic – there was nothing that fit that I would be willing to put on my dog.
I fear thinking I look chic and not looking chic at all, but rather sad (in a sort of “man, that doesn’t really work for her” sort of way), though I know how to choose garments of quality which work properly for me.
I fear – call it an excuse if you like – being broke. Style, and quality, cost money. I do not have a great deal of expendable cash. I do what I can with what I have, but even making garments isn’t cheap – have you priced decent fabrics when you don’t have a wholesaler nearby?
So . . . there you are. I don’t actually consider myself un-chic, really. I try and get classic-looking pieces, avoid dressing for other body shapes that I wish I had as opposed to the one I do, and I don’t dress too young for myself (though at 25, I can still dress pretty young). So, given that this site is meant to help larger ladies with fashion as well as provide a sense of community, what do you suggest?
January 17th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
I don’t see why you should accuse me of trying to curry favor with the outside world.
Scarlett, just out of curiousity (no snark, I promise!) — why is it such a bad thing to curry favor with the outside world? Is it better to give off “don’t tread on me, jerk” signs and be alienated?
January 17th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Because I don’t know how. It seems to be something I can’t figure out :(
January 17th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
First off, in case you don’t make it through my post – please, please, please post a pic here of the fabulous Lynn Yaeger – fashion writer/maven extraordinaire and someone whose being is the answer to the big girls can’t be chic canard. And while I think that time, effort, comfort, cost are all reasons for looking serviceable, as opposed to chic (and I myself spend 90% of my life in black Land’s End gym pants and a Gap long-sleeved Black T-shirt with my basic accessory being an insanely expensive good haircut), I don’t think that is the only – or complete – answer. And yes, part of it is about looking “nice” but I also think part of it is about the inverse: a kind of I’m not interested in joining that club, anyway. And that kind of haughtiness – at least for me – is an amalgam of snobbery and fear and defensiveness. I look at the incredibly thin, gorgeous, stylish women NYC women I work with, live next to, walk by on the street, sit next to at the parents’ meetings and yes, I feel judgmental of, as well as interested in, their look. I’m not interested in their approval – so if I work hard to look good, am I actually somehow seeking it? Whenever I do take the time and effort to pull myself together, people ooh and ahh and tell me how great I look. And that makes me feel both pleased and queasy: do I look that frumpy most of the time? do I need that compliment that much? But I do think that the essence of what Plumcake says is correct and I love her insight – note to self: flaunt fearlessness!
January 17th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
How disheartening. I was expecting some good tips from other big girls on how to be chic, since I’m still on the learning curve for that. Instead I find lots of excuses for why being chic is unimportant – some even apparently insisting that none of us should care about it!
Of course, if you don’t care, you don’t care, and no one can force you to pretend to. But for my money (gimme your money!), personal style isn’t frivolous; it’s a right we all deserve, whether we choose to exercise it or not.
So, why am I not chic yet? I’m still trying to figure it out. I’ve learned a bit from the fashion mistakes of my youth (strapless ruffles and flounces? Day-glo with camouflage?) and know where I will and won’t compromise comfort – but I have yet to find a signature style that sets me apart. A while back, looking at a willowy model-figured friend who was always on the cutting edge of thrift-shop cool, I made up my mind that there was absolutely no reason I couldn’t dress just as avant-garde simply because I’m a different shape (and still believe that). But in practice, if I erred just a little on the experimental side, I felt as if I were wearing a clown costume all day.
Later I moved overseas and pared down my wardrobe to the bare essentials. This is it, I thought; what’s more sophisticated and European than a perfectly fitting minimalist uniform? …Until I realized I was an American tourist in London in jeans, t-shirt and Hush Puppies – decidedly un-chic.
So yeah. Still working on striking that balance – while also factoring in my plus size, my tight budget, my “certain age”, my crafty skills and lofty ideas but lack of time to make everything myself. Any advice is welcome.
Oh, and I adore Simon Doonan. He’s definitely on my “want to be his hag” list.
January 17th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Plumcake, you are the right-on…as we used to say when I was a heck of a lot younger.
I’m 51 years old. Due to great genes, I look younger. (thanks mom!)
Anyway, I’ve been between a size 20 and 28 most of my life I’ve been backhandedly complimented more than one on how ‘well you dress for a woman your size’….argh.
Yeah, it takes work. It DOESN’T take that much money however. Just strategic purchasing. Good quality basics. Trendy, stylish, inexpensive accessories or trend pieces.
I still bounce between a couple of sizes. I have pants in both sizes. But most of my dresses and tops wil fit me without a problem at either size. (I gain weight in my butt & thighs if I don’t keep to a consistent workout schedule.)
But I don’t, and won’t, own clothes (particularly shirts) that have anyone’s face, name, or logo on it: that goes for Disney, Ralph Lauren, or anyone else. (Although I did make an exception for a cashmere sweater with a very subtle Ralph Lauren label because it was so very soft and the perfect color.)
You can try to convince yourself that Pooh is a ’style’ choice, but really? really? Watch any episode of any makeover show…they all say they feel better about themselves when the dress better. I know I do.
Sure, I’m not always certain what look good on me…especially when I’m trying something new…but, I rely on honest friends or I get someone to take a photo and I give myself a day or two to look at it.
Sure, the colorful socks can be a part of your style, but it isn’t ‘chic’…even under Docs, unless they make a comeback. And any t-shirt/sweatshirt with a Disney character on it isn’t a style…it’s giving up. And Disneywear ain’t cheap….you can put that money toward something else…so that isn’t an out either.
Enuf ranting….but some of the responses make me wonder why the respondents are reading this blog…really….if you don’t care, you wouldn’t read. And if you’re reading…stop making excuses and make a few small changes.
–from a lower-middleclass girl who started her post-collegiate career in a big (CPA) firm with 2 really bad poly suits and only wised up when her supervisor was nice enough to clue her in that it wasn’t the quantity…it was a need for quality
January 17th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
PS: I too want to be a part of Simon’s ‘hag’gle of chick who love him!
January 18th, 2009 at 3:06 am
B.S.A.G. asked for tips. Here’s some tips on How To Be Chic.
A. Having a personal style all your own (that means that regardless of whatever ‘tips’ we might hand out to you, you have to figure out who you are and how to present yourself, and since you say you are experimenting, you are doing exactly what you should be doing in the spirit of chic); and then
B. Putting thought into how you present yourself given A, with the following:
1. Fantastic haircut and style,
2. Good skin care and makeup,
3. Well-chosen, interesting accessories (hang around and pay attention to what Plumcake writes, as she has a good eye), and
4. A brio of spirit, sharp conversation, an intelligence and interest in the world and its myriad facets, and a sense of adventure, of a willingness to jet off to Monaco at the drop of Plumcake’s turban when the right (or even better, the wrong) man or woman invites you.
Now put on your big girl pants (never culottes, unless they are made of purple sequins, which could get a buy in my book) and keep experimenting.
January 18th, 2009 at 8:15 am
A big part of why I am not more “fashionable” is shoes. Or more precisely, my ridiculously wide, Fred Flintstone-esque feet. It is incredibly difficult to find shoes that fit, in which I can walk comfortably for a good distance (as a non-driving public transit user living someplace with less-than-optimal service), and which don’t cost a shit-ton of money.
And I will not wear heels that are higher than about 1.25 inches. I find high-heeled shoes neither appealing nor attractive, and their effects on the human body and posture are ludicrous and well-documented. They hurt the feet, knees, and back, and I refuse to wear them.
Even if I had narrower feet, I would not wear them. I’m not a fan of hammertoes or bunions or corns, thanks, and buddy, if your feet hurt, your entire body hurts. That, and I think a woman of any size teetering around on high heels looks utterly ridiculous, even if she *can* walk properly in them, and plenty can’t.
So sticking with shoes that fit and that don’t, y’know, prevent me from moving quickly away from danger, well, that ends up affecting the sorts of styles one can wear, because flat or very low-heeled shoes will never be considered “high fashion” and frankly? Screw that, I really don’t care much what anyone thinks, and I’m sure as hell not going to torture my body just to present some “society approved” version of femininity.
The “high fashion” shoes that are often featured here are sometimes interesting in an artistic or architectural sense, but realistically? I’m willing to bet a strong majority of the readership here does not wear shoes like that very often, if at all, both out of necessity and choice. I’d LOVE to see a poll about it, actually. Fantasy shopping for eye candy is great once in a while, but none of us live in fantasyland, eh?
As for clothing, again, I wear what fits and what I can afford. I think I have my own personal style, and I always wear clothing that is clean, neatly-pressed, and free of stains or rips. I love bright colors and I’m fortunate that my coloring allows me to wear most colors. I tend to go for solid-colored tops with a print jacket or overshirt, or else bottoms with some sort of print or detailing, and let my accessories be the interesting bits in the outfit. I’m a jewelry designer, so I always wear my own pieces.
My work clothing has to allow me to do physical work including some heavyish lifting, squatting, reaching, bending, stepping up on a stool, and standing up for extended periods. That means comfy, supportive shoes, and usually pants, or capris when it’s hot. Although I’m fully aware that the latter is probably a one-way ticket to Stumpytown, Population: Me, I just don’t care; they’re cooler than long pants but less casual than shorts.
My hair is always styled nicely, and while I don’t rock the makeup daily, when I wear it, I do it skilfully enough that pro makeup artists have complimented me. I usually know what clothing styles work best for my shape, and I dress to suit myself, nobody else. Anybody who thinks my appearance isn’t up to snuff can either pony up the cashola for a custom-made wardrobe or STFU, because I am sick and tired of shallow WOMEN cutting down other women for not being “fashionable enough”, whatever the hell that means.
Fabulous lives far below the surface and is the product of how we live and love. Fabulosity has NOTHING to do with the rags we wear or the body we inhabit.
January 18th, 2009 at 8:34 am
So, not to beat a dead horse or anything…
In the comments above, I’ve read that chic is having a personal style, that it’s having a personal style plus other factors, or that you can have a personal style that is not chic.
By way of compare and contrast, the original article is about Elizabeth II’s “iconic look.” Interesting word choice. I would have said that the queen has a personal style, and an immediately identifiable one at that. Heck, it was specifically engineered for her. Yet, she is not chic. (And I’ll agree with that.) Or does she have a “look” but not a “style”? An unstylish style?
I would argue that the queen’s wardrobe is well-constructed, timeless, and suits her – all the basic prerequisites we’re given for stylish dressing. It is not ‘fierce’ or ‘fabulous’, though. Nor is it especially elegant. Given that her look is iconic, I would say she’s superfantastic, though. (Wasn’t she even on a Whose Shoes Wednesday once?)
I am tending to want to identify “art chic,” which might involve bold and unusual garment or accessory choices, and be described as “fierce,” and “classic chic,” which might be Audrey Hepburn.
January 18th, 2009 at 11:35 am
QEII Has a very distinct, very carefully cultivated personal style. That style is not chic.
I think that a lot of the cross-talk here is coming from the fact that some of the commenters are coming from the position that chic is the only acceptable personal style and others are coming from the position that it is not; that there are other acceptable personal styles. Plumcake, Mimi, and Laurie are espousing the former, Chaser, Cassie and I are proponents of the latter.
January 18th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I think it is about finding a personal style that suits you well (and I think this is a lot more difficult than it sounds — you may have a personal style that does not suit you at all, and you may be oblivious to the fact that your look is not flattering to you). My friend Cheryl is one of the chicest dressers I know, yet I am sure her style differs greatly from Plumcake’s, and I have no doubt that Plumcake is also incredibly chic. But what works for Plumcake may not work for Cheryl. I think it’s about wearing good-quality pieces that flatter you and fit you well, and finding stunning accessories that complement the look.
TeleriB, I wish I could define it better than that, but I think a quote Plumcake borrowed from Candy Blog a few weeks ago could also be applied to “chic”: “Like toffee & pornography, I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.”
January 18th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
With chic, in particular, I don’t you get to pick and choose among the requirements; I think you have to be all of the above. So having a personal style all your own, like QEII certainly does, is a necessary but not sufficient condition to chic-it-tude. She’s not jetting off to Monaco with any handsome gambler any time soon; she’s got her man and that’s that (which I respect, too). Some Goth girls look fantastic to me in their boots and theirs tats, but I wouldn’t call them chic though they have a look and they themselves look awesome.
To be honest, I think QEII was an elegant enough young lady and then she took on a progressively stodgier look as she got older. I think she did this for a variety of reasons (it’s not like know her or anything), but she takes her role seriously and so she dresses very seriously. I actually kind of like that.Though Queen Silvia of Sweden is a striking woman and often very elegant, I find her to be mutton dressed as lamb as often as not (I think this may be more me than any objective appraisal of her dressing, which comes my violent dislike of all things baby blue and satin, both of which she wears a lot and in combination. She throws down on the red dresses, though–stunning.) And Silvia is a lot younger than QE: for as much crap as QEII takes about her look, I think she looks good for how old she is–I should look that good when I’m there–and how much she is on display.
I am dubious of Audrey Hepburn as the icon of chic. Yes, she was chic. She was also from a well-to-do Swiss family, had a clothes hanger figure, and had Givenchy dressing her. In many respects, she personifies what I was getting at in my first post: the fact that she was so gamine just naturally placed her in the ‘chic’ category for many people. No matter how much anybody says to me that it doesn’t cost a lot to dress nicely, that doesn’t change the fact that different social classes matter, and that women from certain classes of families have it impressed upon them early than their appearance matters A LOT; their mothers work to train them, their social circles train them–and all of that amounts to practice on their appearance they get while growing up that the rest of us, whose mothers are cleaning toilets for a living and trying to keep the slumlord’s hands off her teenage daughter, do not get to start on until later.
There was a lot more Hepburn than her slender figure and Givenchy clothing, and that’s the last bit. She had beautiful eyes, a magnificent smile, and she was a good little actress with considerable range. She devoted her later life to philanthropy. All of those things–not just the clothes–contribute to her style. She was absolutely lovely, but I don’t really identify with her that much given that her figure is so different from mine.
January 18th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I’m agreeing 100% with what mcmiller said. I’ve gone up and down the scale several times. Anywhere from an 8 to a 16. It is very disheartening to spend good money on clothing that I’ve only been able to wear for a small window of time. It makes me feel that much worse for having deviated in my weight. So I’ve just given up with there.
That being said, I do try to find nice fitting, budget clothing in stores like Old Navy, Ross, TJ Maxx, etc. I think part of what makes a chic look is TAKING GOOD CARE of those cheap clothes! I iron a lot of my clothes. Cheap old navy jeans and all. If I buy a cheap sweater, I make sure I lay it flat to dry if the instructions say so. Other things I do is make sure my hair is always cut and colored (and you can do the coloring part at home). I buy wonderful accessories that are colorful and bold. I also buy great shoes. Hair, jewelry, pocketbooks and shoes do not have anything to do with my weight going up and down so this is where I’ll invest my money or just buy unique pieces that I absolutely love or just cheap, trendy pieces to have fun with.
And also, I’ve got several pairs of crazy socks. Stripes, cats, leopard print…… But you’ll only see them peeking out from my great shoes and ironed jeans when I sit down!
January 18th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Um, I’m afraid of snakes.
Seriously though, not everyone can look chic in jeans, a tshirt, and flats. No matter how “quality” the pieces are, I have yet to find any shapes in those garments that worked correctly with my proportions. I can get close by pairing the jeans with heels instead of flats, but it’s not quite there, so I envy those of you who can pull it off. However, I do know exactly what clothing in my wardrobe makes me look chic — a knee length true wrap dress and a pair of my three (or four) inch stiletto heels. It creates perfect proportions on me and makes me look fantastically gorgeous. If I want to look my best, I should be wearing something like that every day.
But I don’t.
I’m a SAHM of an infant and a toddler who lives on five acres in the country. Anyone who thinks I should be chasing my toddler through the grass in my chic outfit just because it makes me look good needs to have her head examined, imo. Lifestyle or job is not an excuse, but an actual thing people have to consider when dressing their bodies. Just because I have all chosen a job or lifestyle that requires practicality does not mean that I don’t care about style or that I’m afraid of looking chic. It simply means my chic time is more limited.
January 18th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
in the past i have been held back stylistically bc of my budget. i simply could not afford cool clothes in my size. cool clothes in my size were not being discounted to $5 or $10 like they were for my smaller friends. but as time has moved forward, more stylish clothing has been brought down into a price range i could afford.
right now, i’m unemployed. no income, so i’ve got to work with what i’ve got. most of which accents my figure well. i dont go to work and dont go out so i could easily fall into a rut of stretch pants and my husband’s tshirts.
i choose to dress nicely/stylishly, each day bc it looks better than stretch pants and tshirts. looking better helps me feel better.
BUT, i have been guilty in the past of skipping out on makeup in fear of looking too pretty or glamorous. i’ve been told i’m pretty and in a way, i try to avoid more attention by not playing up my facial features. lately, i’ve screwed that. why not look glamorous when going to the grocery store? church? why not be “extra”. so i’m embracing it. its still scary sometimes…..i still catch myself downplaying instead of playing up, but i’m trying to get over that.
January 18th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Chic takes more time and money than I have as a full-time student working part-time to save up for study abroad. When I’m graduated and all professorial I’ll do chic. For now it is stuff that will hold up for the four miles a day I have to walk in Pacific Northwest weather.
January 19th, 2009 at 2:58 am
If fabulous and chic means making blanket judgements of everyone else’s lives, and labeling what are valid reasons as “excuses” because other people’s priorities do not match yours, I don’t want any part of it.
January 19th, 2009 at 8:45 am
You know, I’m not sure I agree with Doonan or Hardy Amies here. Oh, I know QEII looks dowdy, and I know many think that makes her “more approachable” to her public. I even get why someone would conclude that chic has an “unkindness” when we’re talking about royalty and QEII’s subjects.
But let’s just consider Diana for a moment: no one would question that the Princess had an identifiably polished, refined, and perfected chic style. She did have many very talented British designers assigned to her wardrobe–and later, many of the best designers in the world. Money was no object, she was tall and sylph like (because of an eating disorder, which, let’s face it, seems to be a requirement of celebrity chic). Unlike Elizabeth, Diana was never dowdy, never matronly. And yet I bet most of the world considered her far more warm and accessible than her mother in law, far less unfriendly.
I think Hardy Amies was lying when he said he wanted to create an iconic image for QEII–she was not to be a Friendly Queen so much as a Queen who is gracious and
regal, but makes you aware of your place. He wasn’t out to create a friendly monarch–he was out to create an austere and serious one. If he’d put her in chic clothing, she’d never have been taken seriously as the figurehead of an empire, and I’d wager that was the fear that kept Elizabeth from dressing fashionably all her life.
January 19th, 2009 at 10:03 am
There is such a wide range of thought on this subject, and I love that some of the comments are nearly, if not, longer than the post itself!
Around the same time that I started to notice and make choices re: clothing, my body decided it was time to Get My Womanly Figure Going….which, for an 11 yr old, means suddenly none of my clothes fit right. I had to shop in petite women’s sections rather than the juniors because, even though I was still a skinny little thing, I had curves in all the wrong places for my age.
And I’ve been sadly unlucky that as I got older and when I *should* have been able to joyfully embrace a world of women’s fashions….the style trends suddenly zoomed as far away from curvy women as possible and into the land of Heroin Chic – incredibly thin waifish women whose clothing didn’t need a defined waist or structure….to androgynous silhouettes and tops cut for tiny arms and small chests, even if they fit everywhere else. And now my figure is one that was popular 20 and 50 years ago, but not now.
Its taken my some time (and money) to realize that I can be *quite* stylish and attractive without having to follow current trends. So what if I have to wear more vintage inspired clothing to fit around my size 14/16 hourglass? I know that I will look my absolute best. So what if I have to spend a little extra money from time to time because I need better quality fabric to last? Again – I know that I will look my absolute best.
And if I start telling myself it ‘doesn’t matter’ because I just sit at a desk all day and then maybe run errands and therefore I don’t have to look nice – then I’d find a way to rationalize myself into my pajamas 24/7…and I’ve seen that woman here at work. She doesn’t look comfortable; she looks slovenly. She doesn’t look happy; she looks like she gave up, and doesn’t care anymore. She looks, in a word, defeated.
I refuse to be defeated by life and its little inconveniences. I am better than those hurdles and I am *worth* the effort and the money.
That being said – I have never been able to carry of Chic. I dunno what it is – I’ve tried, oh how I tried – but no. I can do stylish, I can look absolutely stunning, I can knock the socks off of a collective audience of friends/accquaintances….but I’m not Chic. And that’s ok. I still look superfantastic.
January 19th, 2009 at 10:06 am
UUUUUUGH, I typed out the longest, best thought out comment of my life and it disappeared.
Let me see if I can do the short version:
I am worth the time money and effort it takes to look nice – I will not be defeated by life and ‘give up’ and rationalize myself into my PJs….I enjoy always finding a way to make myself look nice.
That being said:
I cannot pull of Chic. I can look stunning, I can be stylish, and have my own flair (which I do thank you very much). I can turn a head and I can inspire others to try out fashions they might not have considered….but I simply am not meant to be Chic. And I’m ok with that because I still look superfantastic.
January 19th, 2009 at 11:21 am
“I’m working on ‘business appropriate without getting mistaken for the admin.’ ” Zing!!! I work in a mid-sized company with lots of admins of various levels (myself included) and we are the best dressed of the lot. Chic, classy, traditional, trendy – the whole spectrum is covered and in a variety of sizes. We also are the lowest paid but manage to come to work each day dressed appropriately and well. Sorry, you just pushed a button.
January 19th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
One thing that occurred to me this morning is that Americans in general aren’t chic. We tend to think it conveys a haughty — thank you, rosa for the word — or ruthless attitude.
Chic isn’t that. Yes, it’s a personal style and not all personal styles are chic, but it’s not the a la mode shark-thin models in couture either.
I’ve known poor Frenchwomen who were chic and all they had was one suit, a spare skirt, and an array of scarves. I’ve known people who couldn’t be chic with a million dollars in the bank.
Maybe Plumcake will attempt a definition for us. I know that the two main components I’ve come up with in thinking about it are confidence and satisfaction — but I don’t think it’s self-satisfaction.
January 19th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Personally, I know that while I’m not necessarily chic, when the situation warrants it, dressing nicely makes me feel good about myself. I like to get inspiration from women like The Blog de Big Beauty. She’s French, so that of course helps, but she dresses wonderfully and always stylishly and she’s not a small woman.
http://www.leblogdebigbeauty.com/page/2/
January 19th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
So, what am I afraid of? 1). That I will become judgemental of those who do not dress nicely all the time. Not saying at all that chic women generally do this, just that I have an unfortuante propensity to judge people by my own priorities. 2). Speaking of priorities, that I would emphasize chic-ness at the expense of other, more important things. 3). That I would become afraid to appear in public without being put together. I never want that to happen. That said, these truly are my issues, and likely do not apply to most ladies out there. Also, I agree 100% with Jassy – dressing nice does make me feel great.
January 19th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
What I am afraid of: Wearing something I don’t personally like because someone else’s definition of stylish or fashionable dictates I should. Spending money I could have spent on something I actually care about on something I DON’T care about because someone wants to form an opinion about how trendy my clothes are.
What I am NOT afraid of: Some Internet person’s definition of superfantasticness that doesn’t match mine. The ridiculous accusation that the reasons for my clothing choices are “an excuse” for something.
When I’m working, I pretty much live in black pants or skirt, plus a solid color top, usually v-neck, with the occasional vertically-striped button down thrown in. My clothes are neat, they fit me, and they are appropriate for the office I work in. I just cannot be bothered with thinking about it any farther than that. There are so many more interesting things to do with my time and energy. If being fashionable is interesting to you, if you choose to make it a priority for your time, attention, and money, more power to you.
But don’t insult me because I have different priorities. This is not junior high.
January 19th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
But for my money (gimme your money!), personal style isn’t frivolous; it’s a right we all deserve, whether we choose to exercise it or not.
Nonsense. Contrary to popular myth, women are under no obligation to be decorative, or good consumers. Health care is a right. Education is a right. Privacy is a right. Personal style is something one may or may not be interested in, like gardening or Egyptology.
January 19th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
I feel like I could be more chic, if I put a little more effort into it. Unfortunately, in the mornings it tends to be a case of “grab clean-ish sweater and jeans off of the floor.” Am I afraid to be chic? No. I’d love to be chic. But I’m lazy as hell. I do agree that there are some big girls who would like to look nice, but they’ve just been discouraged by a dearth of options, and so they give up. If you genuinely don’t give a sweet damn what you look like, and still feel that you can carry yourself with confidence through any situation, no matter how you’re dressed, then more power to you. I do tend to feel more powerful and more confident when I know that the hair is did and when I’m put together with some thought and care.
January 19th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Why do we have to explain ourselves to you?
January 20th, 2009 at 3:46 am
You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone on the internet. Ever. (Unless it’s a message from your boss asking what the hell you’re doing on Facebook when your TPS reports are due.)
This is primarily a fashion blog. The people who write it are, obviously, going to have strong opinions about fashion. If you are the sort of person who deeply resents the aesthetic-centric way of life, as many perfectly nice people do, just scroll the fashion posts. I don’t give a tinker’s about cooking, so I scrolled Twistie’s recent food posts. (Nothing personal, T!)
No one is making you read this. No one is making you respond. Plumcake is waaay too busy of a girl to show up at your door and demand to see the contents of your sock drawer.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:54 am
imho – you don’t have to explain yourself here or elsewhere. It is interesting that a lot of different opinions & reasons have been disclosed & discussed here. Clearly – one size never fits all – whether its clothes or clothing choices or “style”.
January 20th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
There was a moment about 10 years ago when I was trying to figure out what to wear for a concert. The director said “Wear something low-cut, all sopranos have a ton of that in their closets.” Much to my shock and horror, I had NOTHING that worked the girls. I’d gotten all mumsy in my 20s and 30s, and even though I had a ton of stuff in my closet, little of it was particularly flattering.
I think the real trick is to resist fads and only buy items that you know are flattering on you (or can be made so with a minimum of effort/money). Gapping waistbands, fussy bits that you’re never comfortable with, and items that are ALMOST right are your enemy.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
I have never been able to pull off chic. Or even looking remotely pulled together. I spend most of my time fretting over what to wear (usually via Polyvore because I am a huge dork) and end up looking like I just pulled out some random crap from the closet and threw it on.
I’m used to this.
I’ve made attempts to try and have some sense of ’style’ and be fashionable and all that. The problem is the staring. I’m a little bit panicky in large crowds to begin with. Anytime I try and put together outfits, I feel like people are *staring*. Of course, I realize that this is my own issue and not anyone else, but it really bothers me. Plus, I feel like I don’t have the personality necessary to pull off things like bright colors or ‘conversation pieces’.
Plus, I’m used to the whole ‘oh god, why are you wearing *that*?’ that is usually what I get whenever I step out of my bedroom (since I still live at home, unfuckingfortunately). Doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, how expensive or cheap it is, how well tailored or fitted it is–the same response. No matter what. I’ve just stopped trying.
(As an aside, I work in a temperature and humidity controlled environment and spend a good portion of my day on a forklift, so my work wardrobe is limited to layers, long sleeves, pants, and flats.)
January 21st, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Oh, McMiller, you break my heart. I too know that awful weight up/weight down, looking at my beloved pieces from another size.
Can you possibly invest in pieces that might have adjustment built into them? Wrap dresses that have a really good overlap, with a full princess hem, rather than a narrow one? Wrap skirts made on the same basis? Heck, even jackets can be made that way – especially if you cut them with kimono sleeves to accommodate arm/bust size changes. Evadress.com even has a couple of vintage patterns in larger sizes! If you truly want some beautiful pieces that you can wear, and are willing to perhaps have a dressmaker make them to accommodate your size shifts, you could have the style you want.
January 21st, 2009 at 8:26 pm
What do I fear?
Hahaha, such an awesome question! While I am someone who aims to be as tres chic as I can, the FEAR I have is not finding what i want in my size, in the same tres chic fashions as my straight sisters.
I fear that there are always people out there telling us Curvy.Confident.Chic. fashionistas out there that we have to dress a certain way- disallowing us the opportunity to be, look, and feel as fabulous as everyone else.
So, I take my chic and my friendliness that I exude and tell all those ney- sayers to shove it…
I look fabulous!
January 22nd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
I’m definitely unafraid of chic and try and practice it all the time.
On the other hand, I have some advantages in my quest. I wear either extended misses’ sizes or on the smaller side of plus, so it’s easier for me to find my definition of “chic” classics than it would be for somebody above a size 24.
Bridge sportswear used to be a good resource for me earlier in the decade. That’s a challenged market, however. Oscar de la Renta killed off his bridge line, Dana Buchman went down-market, Ellen Tracy has a new owner and is in flux, and I wonder what’s going to happen to Talbots (do not sleep on their wool crepe basics). Lafayette 148 and Marina Rinaldi are great, when I can find them at deep discount.
I don’t worry about looking foreboding (although when you get to know me, I’m quite friendly). I like a hint of take-no-s*** intimidation to my look. I’m a woman of color in what’s still a rather white area of the world.
February 1st, 2009 at 12:58 am
I live in a small community and work in the medical field. Please explain to me where “chic” dressing fits in. My big outing to the local Wal-Mart? Give me a break.
It’s been my experience that people compensate on the outside for what they don’t have on the inside.
Being a full-time mother and/or being strapped for cash is a VALID excuse for not dressing up to “expectation.” Fashion is a frivolous thing, a playtime for people with money and extra time on their hands – not for real people who work for a living and are striving to raise families.
“why don’t you want to be and look fabulous?”
Because I don’t want to. End of story. I don’t really care what you think.
February 1st, 2009 at 1:00 am
“Why do we have to explain ourselves to you?”
You don’t have to. Maybe we should ask the author why she feels it’s necessary to judge a woman by her outside appearance. Shallow much?
February 2nd, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I put my effort into developing an affordable signature style, made up of pieces I feel comfortable in and which are cut in a way that flatters my shape. Sure, this means I’ve likely got several shirts in the same style, or several skirts from the same maker, but that’s fine. Quality, well-cut basics are a good foundation.
I invest time and money into the pieces that really shape my style — in my case, I buy scarves in vibrant hues from all over the world.
I have no idea whether or not this is chic, but I feel good in it, and I know I present myself to the world in a better frame when I feel good about myself. That’s all I need. If chic only means the latest trend, the only chic people in the world would be the folks working the runways. If you’re happy with your look, your happiness will shine through. That’s plenty.
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Honestly, if you’re so offended by the question posed, why are you here reading this blog in the first place? I come here to get tips on great deals, inject a little creativity in my wardrobe choices, and “ooh and aah” over great pieces that I could never realistically afford. No, my life is not consumed by the need to be superfantastic at all times and all costs, but I don’t see the harm in the question, and I don’t see where all the hostility is coming from. If I didn’t aspire to dress a bit nicer and take care of myself a bit more, I wouldn’t bother with this blog at all.
I am currently unemployed, and my big outings of the day involve the gym, the grocery store, and the dog park (not necessarily in that order) and I admit to wearing my gym clothes pretty much all day those days. So no, I don’t do chic or superfantastic every day. I do, however, make sure that when I am going somewhere that involves contact with more people than a cashier and fellow unemployed dog owners, I put much more effort into my look. And I’m always on the lookout for advice and the occasional reminder that I am worth spending the time and money on myself.
So really, if you honestly don’t give two craps about fashion and are offended when someone dares to ask if you really are trying your best, why are you here? Why do you care what she thinks?
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:54 pm
[...] the game when I opened up my Google Reader to peruse the old faithfuls around the blogosphere and read this post by the always delightful Plumcake and had a huge colossal “OH MY GOD” revelation. She’s right. The only defense a [...]
February 4th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Happy Wednesday! Nice article. :). Enjoyed “Manolo for the Big Girl!” although maybe not everyone did. This has been a great read and a help; especially in the current economic climate. Added you to my feed reader.
February 4th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
On the flip side, I always try to look chic and feel like that is overcompensating for my weight.
February 17th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Hi. I think you could also make more of it through a bigger exposure about \”Manolo for the Big Girl!\”. Perhaps you can have some custom chocolate england.
March 13th, 2009 at 4:35 am
I found your topic “The Big Question: Novelty Socks as Psychological Cop-Out Edition » Manolo for the Big Girl!” when i was searching for combination wardrobes and it is really intresting for me. If its OK for you i would like to translate your topic and post it on my german blog about combination wardrobes. I link back to your topic of course!