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Calling Dawn Davenport! | Manolo for the Big Girl

Calling Dawn Davenport!

Yes, this is awful.

Diane Goes Hollywood Leopard Print Chiffon Dress

but yet, it’s also kind of awesome. And I kind of really want one.

and so do you.

Oh you know I’m right. I’m always right when it comes to these things.*

I might actually have to buy this just so I can descend the stairs on Christmas morning grumbling “I better get them cha cha heels

Of course, Nice Girls Don’t Wear Cha Cha Heels, especially not these tragical Guiseppe Zanotti ones:

Guiseppe Zanotti cha cha heels

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Guido? You are responsible for two out of my top five personal collection faves –plus I’ll always love you for those fishbone heels you did last year (although I prefer them with the black satin covered heels)– but then you turn around and create some of the hottest messes this side of Beyonce’s weave. Oh and while we’re at it, don’t THINK I’ve forgiven you for THIS.

And then there’s Stuart Wietzman.

Holymoly is RIGHT.

These? These are Russian Hooker shoes. AGAIN.

I can’t blame him that he chases the ruble now and again, all designers do it; we just don’t see it here in the Western markets (although every once in a while you’ll get a pair that was mis-shipped, like the clear stiletto leg-wrap gladiator sandals with the WHITE MINK laces at my local Last Call.)

Again, I generally like Stewies.

They’re more affordable than the super-luxury brands, often come in different widths and if they’re a bit ahem, derivative (I mean, how close does it have to be to be an actual knockoff?) then so be it, because he makes up for it by giving us the legendary red quasar stiletto, a heel in a red so sexy you have to be on birth control before you’re even allowed to try it on. Pull it together, Stuart. You’re better –or at least not usually as sparkly– as this.

Oh, and you won’t believe how much these cost.  That’s a lot of borscht.

*tragic gold lamé toreador outfit notwithstanding

9 Responses to “Calling Dawn Davenport!”

  1. Sarah January 20, 2009 at 6:39 pm #

    Oh, Plumcake, these are not Russian Hooker shoes. I spent the summer in Russia, and you would not believe the tragedies I have seen. Someone needs to be arrested and tried for Crimes Against Shoemanity.

  2. Plumcake January 21, 2009 at 12:22 am #

    I demand photographic evidence! Lots of it!

  3. ChaChaHeels January 21, 2009 at 8:53 am #

    Those are all just variations on the original questionable-background shoe, the Candies Slide. Same shape, same heel height. Impossible for cha chas of any kind (except, arguably, the kind you can do while reclined).

    But that dress…you are right (and you really always are. Well, mostly always). if the print weren’t “animal”, and it were a lot less chiffon-y (I have a phobia about being mistaken for a billowy cloud), I’d wear it. I know that cut looks amazing on me.

  4. Sarah January 21, 2009 at 1:31 pm #

    I actually took photos of some of the more frightening examples I found there, but sadly, my camera was lost before I returned home. However:

    http://www.feelsexy.ru/

    I know the page is tough to navigate if you don’t speak Russian, but just skim it and you’ll see what I mean. And despite the name of the site, “feel sexy,” these are on the classier side of what I usually saw in Russia! Eek!

  5. Roya January 21, 2009 at 3:26 pm #

    That dress is not awful at all, it is fabulous, you have just been brainwashed by the sort of people who say you shouldn’t wear bright colors or such. But I see your conitioing is slipping, yeah!

    Now where can I buy it?

  6. Margo January 21, 2009 at 5:43 pm #

    I, too, rather love the frockette, and am for one just glad that big girls get dresses like this made for them – remember the dark ages of muu-muus and mother-in-law shifts? I was dressing like a sitcom spinster when I was at highschool, and let me tell you, I was not working it.

  7. Chaser January 21, 2009 at 8:46 pm #

    I am going to admit it: I love both of these shoes and would wear them everywhere in the world if I had them. Shoes covered in geegaws! Oh, the clacking noises I would make.

    I would not wear either with that dress, though I do like the dress.

  8. bruno mars May 17, 2010 at 4:12 pm #

    Love your posts! But I was trying to add your RSS feed and your posts were coming up cut off. Know how I can fix that?

    -Bruno

  9. Clutts September 3, 2010 at 12:15 pm #

    i hate florida cops