Comments on: Lewd, or just Crude?

By: Jennifer (but not your Jennifer)

Jennifer (but not your Jennifer) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:49:54 +0000

I think what he did was hurtful. He owes reparations to his daughter. If his teenager had insulted his boss, what would he have done to punish her? Something similar is owed to his daughter in this case.

By: Haystacks

Haystacks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:53:27 +0000

I would say Rosa speaks the truth. He turned her body into something for him, in a way taking away her right to it. It was also incredibly hurtful, especially to a teenage girl, who are already self conscious about their bodies, and don’t have the experience to defend themselves psychologically from remarks like these.

I have heard people say that comments like these have haunted them for years are instigated depression, eating disorders and destructive behavior. This woman’s husband is a jerk and she is justified in her anger.

And he owes Willa an apology.

By: Lilly Munster

Lilly Munster — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:18:55 +0000

In light of the fact that a sleazy middle aged man was “checking out” his young daughter’s friend, I wouldn’t want my child around him, either.

By: Fatadelic

Fatadelic — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 08:35:51 +0000

Commenting on anyone’s body shape or size is inappropriate, whether the commenter is male or female. That this comment came from a friend’s dad to a 15 year old girl is truly inappropriate. There is no such thing as a harmless, ‘jokey’ comment to a teenaged girl about her body.Sexual harrassment, possibly. Sleazy, definitely. Insensitive, hell yeah. Who the hell does he think he is.

By: Chaser

Chaser — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:40:28 +0000

Commenting on a coworker’s weight is, I believe, actionable under harassment in San Francisco. I just took my online harassment training at work!

Whatever happened to just being a gentleman with your daughter’s friends?

By: The Baroness

The Baroness — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 04:11:06 +0000

I think that the words “sexual harassment” get thrown around a lot, but if I were this lady, I’d find a new husband. What a horrible thing to say.

As a girl who grew up a bit larger than my friends, I remember each and every one of these stinging comments, especially the ones that came from adults. What was the POINT of saying something like that? I just can’t get it through my head why someone would say something like that, even if they DID think it would do no harm!

By: g-dog

g-dog — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 00:41:14 +0000

Sexual harassment – no (not from the information we have). Rude etc. as noted above “yes”.

The father should have to apologize to the girl & her parents, with his daughter & wife present. Of course, he has to think/realize that what he said was inappropriate, and sincerely regret that he offended her in order to honestly apologize (not just say “sorry”). From the information we have – he as not ready for this yet.

By: BrooklynShoeBabe

BrooklynShoeBabe — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 00:33:15 +0000

I don’t think it was sexual harrassment. It was just a jerky statement. I don’t know how long this girl has been a friend or going to their house, but maybe the husband felt comfortable saying that if she has been coming for years just like you would comment on a child getting taller. He probably didn’t realize he was being an asshole or realizing that the word “fat” should never be used to describe anything on a girl or woman. The husband should at first apologize to the parents of the offended girl, and then, if they agree, let him apologize to the daughter. This might make things better, but probably not well enough for her to start visiting again.

By: Bree

Bree — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 00:06:52 +0000

Dad should definitely apologize. In his mind, he may not think it was such a big deal, but as we keep hearing from so many people in the world of body acceptance, cruel and callous remarks such as his do lead to eating disorders and disordered thinking.

It’s bad enough that adults ridicule other adults for each other’s weight, but there is simply no excuse for hating on a child’s body. I also have a feeling this is not the first time Willa and her mother have experienced this, judging by Mom’s reaction. A lot of mothers either ignore it or even agree with it.

By: Steffi

Steffi — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 23:40:23 +0000

SusanC: I see what you mean with the word being overused.
In my case though, having actually been harassed by a girlfriends father at the age of 15, I can say that his words were almost as bad as when he finally decided to act on them, his actions just made it real so that I could no longer convince myself that it was just all in my head.
I know this is a different scenario but there are different levels of harassment and I’d rather let the victim judge. From what I know about this case, she does not seem to have taken it lightly.