So we here at Manolo for the Big Girl and everyone ever involved with Shoeblogs LLC are telling you right this very second to NOT do this. Don’t. It’s dangerous and if you do it, it will explode and you will die and that would be sad because mama doesn’t get paid when all her readers are dead, plus you probably have families or whatever, I don’t really care about that, but there’s a recession on y’all, and Miss Plumcake has needs. SO. DON’T DO THIS OKAY?
In Texas they call it dulce de leche or cajeta (although cajeta is technically a different thing) in France they call it confiture de lait but in Virginia it’s just plain old Danger Pudding.
1 can sweetened condensed milk (non pop-top, label removed)
a big pot
a can opener
Make three little balls of foil and put them in the bottom of the pot. Take the can and stand it on the balls of foil so it’s sitting off the bottom of the pot (it makes a racket otherwise). Fill the pot with water, enough to completely cover the can, preferably by a good inch or two. I cannot stress enough how important it is to cover the can completely with water. If the water boils off and exposes the can, the change of pressure could cause an explosion which is why it’s called DANGER PUDDING.
Bring the water to a boil and then take down to a simmer. Simmer for two hours or so, being sure to add water to the pot as it evaporates. Again, you do NOT want that can exposed to air. If you like a firmer caramel, simmer it longer. If you want something runny; an hour and a half will do.
Turn off heat and let sit until the water gets lukewarm. Remove the can and let it cool entirely. Seriously. Let it cool. You do not want hot caramel spurting up at you.
Once it’s cool, open the can carefully. You will then have a glorious can of Danger Pudding. Some people eat this right out of the can but those are the sort of girls who probably put glads in the altar flowers and are thus to be categorized as People Who Don’t Know (blesstheirhearts).
I like to stir a little Noilly Prat in my DP because I’ve got to use that vermouth for SOMETHING. It’s lovely warm over berries, spread on pound cake or crackers or it can be dropped by spoonfuls onto waxed paper, frozen, then dipped in melted chocolate and sprinkled with sea salt. Divine.
But, uh, don’t do it.