Honey. No.

Someone’s been dipping their cigarettes in embalming fluid again.

Lewis Cho jasmine dress

I gotta tell you, this is NOT what I needed today. It’s rainy and gloomy and my convertible top STILL has a hole in it and I don’t CARE if we “need the rain” because “farmers are losing their livelihoods” WHATEVER they should’ve thought about that before they became farmers!*  Plus it took me a half an hour to drive to work this morning when it should only take ten minutes and the classical radio station was playing freaking VIVALDI because apparently a little Stravinsky would KILL someone, and I sort of accidentally ate three red velvet cupcakes I’d baked (no frosting though, so that’s something) on my drive in and I don’t feel so very good in my tummular region at this very moment.

And now, NOW Lewis Cho wants me to wear THIS? AND spend $349 for the honor?

Oh.

Hell.

No.

Now, I appreciate that Annie Lewis and Helen Cho who launched Lewis Cho in 2005 are dipping their toes into the plus size market because precious few new designers are willing to do so and risk getting zomg!1 teh fatt!1! on their label and I can ALMOST see what they were going for here. I’ll also give it to them that it looks well made.

On a very very slim person, born during the Clinton administration and in posession of the haunted, tubercular look that is so very much en vogue (and in Vogue) these days, I could see this being a sort of Beautiful-But-Doomed Parisian Street Urchin Circa 1897 thing.

But off the runway and on regular-sized people? A tent. A sad, beige, expensive, beige, sad, sad tent.

Sigh.

This is NOT what I needed today.

I think I need another cupcake.

*Fun Fact: When I was a little girl I wanted to be a farmer. Not surprisingly, this did NOT go over well with my family.

22 Responses to “Honey. No.”

  1. Jane March 13, 2009 at 12:23 pm #

    Looks like a hospital johnny. Reminds me of mammograms. Plumcake for the win.

  2. dcsurfergirl March 13, 2009 at 12:34 pm #

    Is it me or does that look like a hospital gown?

  3. Jenna March 13, 2009 at 12:38 pm #

    A *maternity* hospital gown.

  4. sabrina March 13, 2009 at 12:38 pm #

    Mommy, why is that lady wearing a outfit from the doctor’s office in public?

  5. Monica the tiara chick March 13, 2009 at 1:39 pm #

    Seems they are following the “pair this ugly thing with black stilettos and everybody will instantly love it!” school of Big Girl Fashion Photography.

  6. Geogrrl March 13, 2009 at 2:39 pm #

    As you say, it looks like nice fabric and is well made. Kudos to them for that. But I think they’ve fallen victim to the same assumption that so many clothing designer/s manufacturers do–that we big girls want to wear things that look like they came from a tent and awning manufacturer.

  7. Bree March 13, 2009 at 8:34 pm #

    I believe my grandmother had a nightgown that looked like that.

  8. Regina March 13, 2009 at 10:11 pm #

    I totally thought that was a hospital gown.

  9. ladymissm March 13, 2009 at 10:23 pm #

    Looks like the model isn’t buying it either.

  10. barbara March 14, 2009 at 10:34 am #

    Gah– is it just me, or is she a regular sized model wearing a plus sized dress? I think part of the problem is that it’s the wrong size!

  11. Twistie March 14, 2009 at 12:20 pm #

    (cries…really, really hard)

  12. Kimks March 14, 2009 at 9:39 pm #

    this is sad and expensive. I might wait until it goes on sale for $20.00 and make a new table cloth and matching napkins with the fabric.

    UGHHH this seriously looks like something my Grandmother wore in the hospital in 1963.

    NO NO NO

  13. Hermione March 14, 2009 at 10:47 pm #

    If you think this is bad, click on the picture and look at the BACK of it. Ick, ick, ick.

  14. Jennie March 14, 2009 at 10:49 pm #

    I agree with Barbara. Who can tell what it looks like! It’s a 1X on a size 8 “plus” model. It might have shape on a woman with curves or it might still look like a tent. Put damned plus size clothes on real plus sized models!

  15. Nemtynakht March 15, 2009 at 10:36 am #

    I’m shocked no one’s commented on the gross, gross, taupe color. Exactly who would that look good on?

  16. La Petite Acadienne March 15, 2009 at 1:59 pm #

    The upside is that you could actually have company in that dress. The downside is that the dress would not attract any sort of individual who you would even consider wanting to have as company in your dress.

    So yeah, it’s FAIL all around.

  17. Kimks March 15, 2009 at 4:15 pm #

    OK- So I took Hermione’s suggestion and clicked on the picture to look at the back- Hideous… but what got me was that the fit model said “runs small order a size larger” they may have been talking about the shoes, but if they were talking about the dress- how on earth can the dress run small????

  18. ChristianeF March 15, 2009 at 8:58 pm #

    On the plus side, I don’t think the model likes it either.

    Oh, and it gets better. This johnny also comes in navy and blue mosaic. Perfect!

  19. ChloeMireille March 17, 2009 at 10:20 am #

    Oh, God. That’s not a dress. That’s a sack.

  20. Sarahbyrdd March 19, 2009 at 5:27 pm #

    For that kind of money, that hideous sack better have been made from the hairs of angels or something. The hem is puckered. The color is dreadful. I mean seriously. SRSLY!

  21. Jennie March 19, 2009 at 9:54 pm #

    Ok, Forgive me. I had not looked at the back. This is typical, “Let’s cover the fat girl with a tent” school of design. What a waste of fabric.

  22. Deana March 25, 2009 at 9:18 am #

    First, yes, I am way behind on my reading.

    Second, ok, you and I both know that the dress would take me like two hours to make. One and a half of that is cutting out the bob-forsaken slippery silk georgette. The other half hour is drinking enough to actually make someone pay me for the privilege of wearing it. And they charge how much?

    Eww. I’m not sure you could pay *me* enough to wear that.