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The Monday Hotness: Don’t Judge Me Edition | Manolo for the Big Girl

The Monday Hotness: Don’t Judge Me Edition

This special-themed Monday Hotness goes out to superfantastic fans Trinity and Glenly.

As you might have read if you’re following me on twitter (as I’m sure you are)  I couldn’t decide on last week’s Monday Hotness because I was torn between “Geeks We Love” and “80’s Crushes”so I didn’t do one at all and cruelly, CRUELLY deprived you of your much-needed hotness.

This week, I’m feeling a bit nostalgic so I think we’ll go with a special variation of 80’s Crushes. Today I give you

Plumcake’s First Five Musical Crushes

(in chronological order)

Peter Tork, My Favorite Monkee

Peter Tork: The Geekiest Monkee.

Ya’ll, I loved this boy so much. I used to watch reruns of The Monkees when I was a little girl and goofy, geeky Peter totally did it for my second-grade self.  So much so that I had a massive crush on a girl named Laura who looked (and in my defense, still does) just exactly like Peter.  As a note I would like to add that that was the second most gratifying thing that’s ever happened to me on Facebook. The first was, of course, discovering that January who was a total Mean Girl to me in 6th grade can now best be described in the words “Hot Tranny Mess.”  GOD I love the internet.

Onward:

There is not a straight girl or gay man this side of slap bracelets who didn’t have an EPIC crush on Morten Harket a.k.a. That Guy from The A-Ha Video.

Morten’s Mullet

His mullet was a masterpiece, he rocked the mom jeans

A-Ha!

but how do we love him best?

so dreamy

as the dreamy, sensitive rotoscoped biker from the Take On Me video.

Take on me

sigh.

Next!

Remember how I said “don’t judge me?”

Really. Don’t Judge Me.

Ahem. Well. Yes. Quite.

I think the less we say about this the better. Moving on, shall we?

The great and over-riding love of my middle school life was, of course, one Mister Wolfgang Axl Rose. My father had kittens every time I mentioned his name and I’m sure was convinced he would eventually lose his well-bred only daughter to some lizard-looking dude with questionable tattoos, a penchant for cheap beer and probably several strains of antibiotic-resistant VD.

Axl Rose

(Still. He WAS kinda cute.)

Finally –and I stand by this one to this day– I give you Henry Lawrence Garfield, better known as Henry Rollins.

Henry Rollins

I’ve seen him out and about a few times when I’m in D.C., in fact we stayed at the same hotel in Richmond the last time I did a face to face, and he’s my best friend Joey’s hero. Me? I think he’s extra-hot and extra-smart but perhaps a bit intense for every day use.

Of course there’s the time I got put on suicide watch my freshman year of college because I painted the quote “Scar Tissue is Stronger Than Muscle Tissue” on my loft bunk, which I found hilarious, and there’s always the time at the Girl Scout slumber party where I had Liz D. try to recreate Rollins’ most famous tattoo on my back.

Search and Destroy

It was not a success.

25 Responses to “The Monday Hotness: Don’t Judge Me Edition”

  1. Margo March 30, 2009 at 5:08 pm #

    Oh, Plummy, don’t you ever change. This was sixty-nine flavours of awesome.

  2. Lilly March 30, 2009 at 5:21 pm #

    Henry Rollins is just….yummm…awesome list! Thank you, Plummy!! :-D

  3. Jane March 30, 2009 at 5:25 pm #

    I was with you as far as the “Take On Me” boy. I still have that somewhere on cassette.

  4. Monica the tiara chick March 30, 2009 at 6:48 pm #

    I met Morten Harket and Mags Furuholmen while studying in London in 1992. Barely had a moment with each, but they were speedily signing autographs and trying to make sure the fans who had come to see a-ha at a London club were happy, even if the band DID take the stage an hour late (*cough*). My inner teenybopper remains deeply satisfied that I met them! :D

  5. Jassy March 30, 2009 at 9:09 pm #

    I totally screamed aloud at the sight of Peter Tork, not my fave monkee, I was a Mike Nesmith girl, but Yay! Monkees! Gosh, my pleasures are so simple.

  6. Trinity March 30, 2009 at 9:17 pm #

    Ahhhh…AWESOME! Thank you so much for the shout out! I have always had a crush on Axl Rose…total HOTness! I was happy to see him on your top 5. I guess that I have a thing for bad boys ;)

  7. Rachel of Cyberia March 30, 2009 at 11:39 pm #

    Yeah, Axl was hot, especially when he smiled in the November Rain video. What the hell happened?

  8. that redhead March 31, 2009 at 2:25 am #

    Oh, my darling Plummy…back in the day, my father called me into the living room, pointed to the black & white TV and said “See those girls? Don’t ever be like that.” He was watching The Beatles on “The Ed Sullivan Show”…yes, that’s how old I am.

    As for The Monkees…I’m definitely a Mike Nesmith fan. I sorted my elementary school girlfriends on their preference for which of The Beatles (I was all about George) and The Monkees they preferred. Also, whether they preferred The Beatles (good girls) over The Rolling Stones (the bad girls…yeah…I didn’t tell anyone I was more Stones than Beatles).

    And, yeah, loved Ah-Ha, Axl Rose, and STILL adore Henry (he’s on my list of 5 people I’d want to have dinner with)…but how could you leave off Trent Reznor and Eric Clapton (before he went all country..when there was still plenty of “Eric Clapton is a God” graffiti around Southern Cal.)?

    Adore your tweets…..(laurihart on twitter)

  9. megaera March 31, 2009 at 2:41 am #

    mmmm…..Rollins….I can live with that intensity, especially if it carries me right into bed!

  10. Ravna March 31, 2009 at 4:43 am #

    Never been much for pretty boys, but pretty boys tend to grow up into sooo delicious men.
    http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=280569395&albumID=821060&imageID=9406569
    And Morten is so much more hot now than he ever was before. *prrr*

  11. auntbub March 31, 2009 at 9:23 am #

    Henry Rollins. Brilliant+Hot=Perfect.

  12. ChloeMireille March 31, 2009 at 10:42 am #

    Henry Rollins is some serious hotness. I first saw him on my TV when “Liar” came out. (To give you an idea of how long ago this was, I saw this on The Box, which is what MTV2 used to be.)

  13. Lex March 31, 2009 at 4:18 pm #

    Yeah, I’d yank Hank. Might have to fight Ann Coulter for him, though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM7MR5_v47w

  14. Violet March 31, 2009 at 4:31 pm #

    Henry Rollins = too hot to even look at straight on. I have to look sort of sideways.

  15. Chicklet March 31, 2009 at 5:25 pm #

    I, too, was a Mike Nesmith girl! Still am, actually, due to his being the producer of Repo Man. “Let’s go get sushi — and NOT PAY!”

  16. AmazonPrincess March 31, 2009 at 10:51 pm #

    Ahhh. dear dear Henry. I still need to go see him live.

  17. Janey April 1, 2009 at 9:58 pm #

    OMG, I thought I was the only Nesmith girl! I mean, the HAT!

  18. Leslie April 1, 2009 at 10:56 pm #

    Henry Rollins was my very first celebrity crush. I saw him doing a poetry slam when I was in high school and understood the term ‘swoon’ thereafter. He’s gorgeous and smart and talented in so many ways and funny as hell. I’m still a fan. He’s at the top of my list.

  19. Grace April 1, 2009 at 11:14 pm #

    Mmmm… shirtless Henry Rollins.

  20. Rebecca H. April 1, 2009 at 11:46 pm #

    Peter was the cute but dim. I liked him as one would like the company of a puppy. Yes, give me Mike (and have you seen the bit with him and Frank Zappa???). I’m with you on the Morton love, too. Axel, not so much. Henry, yes please. But not in person, as I think he’d be just Too Much.

  21. Alexandra April 3, 2009 at 11:52 am #

    Definitely agree about Henry – so bright and such a great story teller. How we do change as we grow up!

  22. Miranda April 3, 2009 at 12:26 pm #

    I am so with “that redhead” on the Trent Reznor front, and everyone else on the Rollins front. Both are super hot, super smart, and aged to perfection.

  23. Chelsea April 4, 2009 at 3:45 pm #

    After watching VH1s 100 Greatest One-Hit Wonders from the 80s, I must agree…Morten Harket is delicious.

  24. Strawberry May 26, 2009 at 7:58 am #

    I loved Axl more when he was still 25 or so. He looked HOTTER.

  25. Daniel Walczak August 17, 2010 at 7:25 pm #

    I can’t wait until Resistance 3 comes out!