Monday Hotness: Never Mind the Budgie Smuggler Edition

First, I want you all to read Twistie’s excellent Mushrooms Caps I Will Not Stuff post. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Also, try NOT to sing the title to the tune of Camptown Races. Can’t do it, can you?

Now, personally I’ll stuff the hell out of a mushroom. “Things stuffed in things” is one of my favorite food groups and I’ll gladly mince, chop, pulse, scoop, stuff, broil and devour just about anything that the laws of physics and human decency will allow to be shoved in netherparts of any edible fungi.  I won’t, however, do lawn maintenance.

I am, professionally and to a large extent personally, of the same mind as Henry Ford II who famously said “Never complain, never explain.”  That little chestnut lives up there with “don’t take a No from someone who can’t give you a Yes” “Don’t believe your own press” and “If they don’t speak English it doesn’t count”

most importantly though is the chestnut that comes from my all-time favorite 24-hour girl The Lady Chablis who wrote in her book Hiding My Candy: The Autobiography of the Grand Empress of Savannah  something along the lines of “If you don’t feed me, [redacted because this is a family blog but it’s not something Plumcake does on a first date, and I don’t mean buying a piano (although I won’t do that either)] me or pay my bills, you don’t get a say in my life.”

That being said, if today’s Monday Hotness Djimon Hounsou would like to have a say in my life, I’d be more than willing to let him apply in any of the three categories listed above. Except for paying my rent and feeding me.  I’m an old-fashioned girl.

I’ve only ever seen him in one movie, the breathtaking “In America” where he stole the film as Mateo, the rage-bloodied painter dying of AIDS. I don’t watch a lot of movies; if I ‘m going to be in the dark for 108 minutes I’m either going to be sleeping or…uh…not sleeping, but I highly commend it to you all.

and while we’re on the subject may I just say:

Djimon Hounsou as Mateo in In America

DAMN.

Okay, parents? This. THIS is what I want to see if you’re going to show me pictures of your kids. Sure, I’ll ooh and all and pretend they don’t look like eggplants or Winston Churchill or whatever (uh, not YOUR kids of course) but at least have them held by a ridiculously hot guy who could probably bench press my Cadillac while quoting John Donne poems to me. Is that so much to ask?

Also?

Djimon Hounsou for Calvin Klein

Now, I am not a fan of the budgie-smuggler look (thanks Style Spy!) by any means,  but seriously, come ON. That guy is a sculpture. A shiny, wang-y sculpture in boxer briefs (second only to the banana hammock in the annals of laughable men’s underwear)  but a sculpture nonetheless.

and he doesn’t look half-bad with clothes on, either.

Lovely

VERY Lovely

19 Responses to “Monday Hotness: Never Mind the Budgie Smuggler Edition”

  1. Margo April 6, 2009 at 6:28 pm #

    He looks so happy and relaxed in those last two pictures, too, oh damn. I saw the utterly middling-to-average Beauty Shop twice, and Hounsou made up (just) for Alicia Silverstone’s Southern “accent”.

  2. Jennie April 6, 2009 at 9:20 pm #

    Thank you…just Thank you….

  3. Style Spy April 7, 2009 at 9:32 am #

    Unfortunately, he’s now contaminated and should under no circs be ingested in any form. (You know about the KLS sitch, right?)

  4. Plumcake April 7, 2009 at 10:37 am #

    yes, it’s unfortunate. I’m trying to overlook it (much like DH probably overlooks the fact that she’s a big closet case)

  5. Jeanine April 7, 2009 at 3:58 pm #

    O.M.Goodnesss….

    I’m lost. What sitch with the KLS?

    And please tell,so I’m not drooling for nothing over here.

  6. AmelieWannabe April 7, 2009 at 4:05 pm #

    Djimon Hounsou is Kimora Lee Simmons’ new baby daddy. She’s just icky!

  7. Jennie April 7, 2009 at 7:36 pm #

    Sh*t! He has permanent cooties now.

  8. Chaser April 8, 2009 at 3:49 am #

    I rather like Kimora Lee Simmons. I’m not crazy about her clothing, but she was among the first to market to women of color in a way that suggested that their money was green just like everybody elses’s–and trust me, that is a pretty big change from the a priori assumption that black women don’t have resources, wouldn’t want their own look, etc. I wish I liked her clothing better, but…there’s something that makes me smirk when all those those WASPY fashion blogs that slobber over $35,000K purses get all snippy and horrified at her.

  9. Plumcake April 8, 2009 at 11:12 am #

    Hey everybody! It’s okay to make fun of WASPs! Because judging people based on their skin color and religious affiliation is totally acceptable as long as they’re white and protestant!

  10. AmelieWannabe April 8, 2009 at 12:34 pm #

    Or if they’re fat, Plumcake. It’s always okay to make fun of the big girls!

  11. Jeanine April 8, 2009 at 1:33 pm #

    oh. well now.

    Let the drooling continue!

    Thanks!

  12. Orora April 8, 2009 at 3:00 pm #

    That man can smuggle my budgie anytime he wants.

  13. Jennie April 8, 2009 at 4:27 pm #

    I’d rather smuggle HIS budgie….lear…

  14. Rachel of Cyberia April 8, 2009 at 11:18 pm #

    He plays the electrician in “Beauty Shop” which playes on Oxygen every few days.

  15. bush piglet April 10, 2009 at 10:23 am #

    How about rewatching Gladiator . I’m not saying he’s wearing a budgie smuggler but he does do buffed nubian warrior pretty well. You should check out blood diamond as well. Not that I have been following his career or anything.

  16. Mrs. T April 12, 2009 at 2:46 am #

    Plumcake, because you use the term WASP in your posts as a joke often, I wasn’t aware that you thought it was a slur. And I say this not to bring up the outdated, “Well you say it, so I should be able to say it!” argument but to note that its funny how choosing this moment to be annoyed at the use of the term allows you to ignore any point Chaser’s may be making. Biases against KLS may be colored by racism against POC. But instead of acknowledging that, you decided to bring attention to how her terminology might be prejudiced against whiteness and Protestantism (as if those two groups are not the majority in America as well as the most socially powerful). I mean, really, “baby daddy” carries a far harsher stigma than WASP and is usually used to marginalize WOC. It’s disappointing that you wouldn’t also think AmelieWannabe’s comment worthy of subversive snark.

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