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Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Madding Crowd Edition | Manolo for the Big Girl

Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Madding Crowd Edition

So.

Yesterday I went to an Earth Day celebration in Berkeley. And in the middle of a crowded park, I managed to stumble and take a truly spectacular faceplant in the grass. Yes, I landed on my nose. Luckily, thanks to an interview with Chevy Chase I heard many more moons ago than I care to think about, I remembered that the best thing to do when falling is to keep rolling as long as you can, because it will minimize the potential for injury. Thus it was that I was able to walk away from the scene under my own power within minutes of the catastrophe.

Celebrity interviews: the life they save may be your own.

I also learned that if you’re going to take a spectacular, Chevy Chase-esque tumble in public, an Earth Day celebration in Berkeley is the place to do it. A significant number of concerned citizens concerned themselves with my well-being and stood ready to render assistance, if needed. Luckily, it wasn’t…not even when Mr. Twistie hauled my less than petite backside into a standing position.

Even though I wasn’t severely injured, I’m a bit banged up. There’s a nasty, splotchy bruise on my forehead, my nose has a bad scrape right on the bridge, and I’m a bit sore here and there. Oh, yes, and then there’s that whole public humiliation thing. In some ways, that’s the worst bit, since I didn’t actually…oh…break a bone or something like that.

To make a long story short – and I realize fully that it’s waaaaay too late for that – I’m in need of some laughs. The fastest and most effective way I know to guarantee some of those (short of watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the eleventy-millionth time) is to present you folks with a picture just crying out to be captioned. Here’s the pic, you know what to do.

Easter Parade

Next week, when the only painful part of this episode is the memories, I’ll declare a winner.

Ready…set…snark!

8 Responses to “Twistie’s Sunday Caption Madness: The Madding Crowd Edition”

  1. Margo April 26, 2009 at 4:40 pm #

    After the credit crunch, internet users had to revert to Depression Era YouTube.

  2. Margo April 26, 2009 at 4:41 pm #

    Crowds flocked to 5-year-old Susan Boyle’s singing debut.

  3. gemdiva April 26, 2009 at 6:53 pm #

    This archival photo shows early attempts to crowd surf cars in the world’s first Mosh Pit. This often hazardous and largely unsuccesful practice later gave way to today’s more conventional pit etiquette of body surfing people.

  4. jessie April 26, 2009 at 9:53 pm #

    :so uh bos..how do we get off the ca-SILENCE YOU FOOL! First the large crowd,the odd angled hat..the world will soon be mine..all mine muahahaha”
    -Calvin Kleins Great Grandpa trying to overtake the photogenic world”

  5. Bree April 26, 2009 at 11:30 pm #

    Representatives from FOX would not comment today about a photo taken by an anonymous source who claims this is the very first American Idol audition, held in the streets of New York City back in 1933.

    Upon seeing the photo, the American Idol judges quickly responded. Randy Jackson said “what a cool picture dawg,” Paula Abdul replied that the left side of the crowd liked salad while the right side liked pizza, Kara DioGuardi said the photographer looked like he had star talent, while Simon Cowell sniffed, “A total disaster…none of those people would even get by me.”

  6. Despina April 27, 2009 at 10:08 am #

    The filming for “Monopoly: The Movie” hit a snag when the crew accidentally scheduled a shoot in the middle of a “Bad Hat Day” parade.

  7. Peaches April 29, 2009 at 6:27 pm #

    If it makes you fell any better- I went through a 2 hour job interview with my skirt tucked into my panties- granny panties. Thank god it was back in the day of dark hose (like that helps).

  8. Twistie May 2, 2009 at 12:00 pm #

    Oh, Peaches, you poor thing! Still, it’s nice to know that we can survive (and even giggle at) those moments of public gracelessness later on.