There are few things on this earth I know to be true and these are they:
1) Jesus loves me
2) Oklahoma sucks
3) Life is more fun with jewelry on your head
(4. supplemental: you now have a wicked Spandau Ballet earworm)
Now I know what you’re thinking. You read on the twitter feed that I recently acquired an antique 1930’s French silver tiara so violently fabulous that it made me pee a little when my jewelry gal showed it to me, so you think I’m going to talk about that. Well I’m NOT. Okay, well I am a little, but only to relate this teensy vignette:
I was volunteering at the coffee shop, wearing my tiara (it was after eight) when this sweet little girl comes in.
“Are you a princess?”
“Why are you wearing a tiara?”
I stopped and thought for a moment.
“Because I own a tiara.”
Which was of course the right answer. I don’t believe in princesses. Princesses are real estate deals with ovaries attached. Screw that. The one princess I knew in real life –she was a dear friend in college– was sent to America to study and last I knew was refusing to go back.There’s also a funny story involving a different crown princess, a lecherous Nobel Prize winner, my ex’s ex who may or may not have turned lesbian and run off with her yoga instructor, my erstwhile roommate, a pack of American Spirit cigarettes and what happens when you start discussing your love lives while making your way drink-by-drink through Ben Reed’s “The Art of the Cocktail” (I think we were on the Old Etonian) but that’s not my story to tell.
I don’t think women adorn their heads nearly enough, which is a shame. I don’t just mean with turbans and tiaras –I understand that not everyone is comfortable making that much of a statement– but if you’re looking for a way to spike up your glamor quotient and push your envelope a little without committing to the Full Endora or breaking the bank, why not try adding a little jewelry to your head?
If you’ve got thick hair, take advantage of it by popping in a big clip-back earring, large enough to work as a brooch. You could also use shoe or fur clips, both of which stay put admirably in thick hair. If your tresses are super-thick and curly like mine, you might even have luck just pinning in a regular brooch using a lock of hair to secure the pin, just be sure to give the hair a spritz with your favorite ozone-destroying hairspray before you attempt it.
Thin hair? No problem. Just head out to your favorite antique dealer/thrift shop/retrovogue boutique and ask to see any broken jewelry. Buy things that tickle your fancy: single earrings, pins with broken backs, whatever. Then using your hot glue gun or Krazy Glue stick, attach them to the base of whatever sort of haircomb or clip works best in your hair. I like Scunci brand sidecombs, either whole or broken in half.
Hair brooches are super feminine, so make sure the rest of your outfit isn’t overly sweet, unless you’re going for costumey or precious (hint: don’t.)