Manolo for the Big Girl Fashion, Lifestyle, and Humor for the Plus Sized Woman.

June 8, 2009

The Monday Hotness: She Gave Me a Pen Edition

Filed under: The Monday Hotness — Miss Plumcake @ 3:01 pm

How? How is it possible that John Cusack has been hot my whole life? My first crush on him was from The Journey of Natty Gann which came out when I was 6 years old.

Journey of Natty Gann

I have NO idea what that movie was about, but I seem to remember Communists and a pet wolf. Don’t know of the wolf’s political affiliation; probably an independent.

And he’s still cute now!

John Cusack in 2009

I can’t exactly get behind the opera mauve windbreaker with the electric blue zipper, and is that…could those be faux Members Only-style epaulets? But other than that? Totally my type.

Everyone has their favorite Cusack; I’m a High Fidelity girl. Give me a mopey guy with commitment issues and Inappropriate Attachments to vinyl and I’m his…in theory.

best. movie. ever.

In practice, however, the Rob Gordons of the world are totally undateable. They will forget your birthday, completely space on watering your heretofore unkillable peace lily FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN, NOT THAT I’M NAMING ANY NAMES CRAIG and balk when you find them a $3,000 Lanvin suit for $120 because it would cost them NINETY WHOLE DOLLARS to have it altered. On the other hand they will practically faint dead away when you show them your rare original 78 single of “Lollipop”released by not The Chordettes, not The Mudlarks but Ronald and Ruby. Whatever.

mopey hotness

They’re still pretty cute though.


Especially when they’ve got that hangdog thing going on.

Been There

Probably my second favorite Cusack is Martin Q. Blank from Grosse Pointe Blank. I mean aside from this photo –and we’ve all been there, right? Except I prefer Paris Vogue and a revolver; semi’s jam –he was extra cute and broody. ALMOST cute and broody enough to make me not hate Minnie Driver. Almost.

Funny story. I didn’t actually SEE this movie until a few years after I saw this movie. A girlfriend and I were in Charlottesville buying graduation dresses the last weekend of high school. She met a guy she knew and he had a friend and so we decided to go to see this movie, except her date’s friend had oh I don’t know A RAGING COKE PROBLEM (who even DOES coke anymore? Lame.) so I bailed and hung out at Betsey Johnson until they were finished.  The End.

Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t include The Dobler Effect.

When stalking was *romantic*

Frankly, this guy doesn’t do much for me I’ve had the borderline stalker with bad taste in music. I’d rather have the pen.


  1. 3 words for you… John. Joan. Sandwich.

    Editor’s Note:
    Of course one must expand that sentence to read “John and Joan share a delicious club sandwich like normal non-gross incestuous brother and sister because otherwise Plumcake would have to poke her own eyes out.” –Ed.

    Comment by AmelieWannabe — June 8, 2009 @ 3:59 pm

  2. Nobody in the world can stare like John Cusack…and nobody else can make it sexy to me. Sometimes I watch my copies of Grosse Pointe Black and Cradle Will Rock back to back just to watch John Cusack stare.

    Comment by Twistie — June 8, 2009 @ 4:14 pm

  3. Ha! I was much older than 6 when I first saw John Cusack, so he is MINE! MINE! MINE!

    And who could forget the utterly fabulous Sixteen Candles where John put in an Academy Award performance acting as a nerd! As if!

    John, if you read this, I’ve moved from Canada to New York. Call me!

    Comment by Christine — June 8, 2009 @ 8:12 pm

  4. My prayer every night goes something like this: “Dear Lord/Universe/Higher Power, please bless everyone I love and give us peace on this Earth. And please, please, give John Cusack the leading rule that earns him the Oscar he so richly deserves. Amen.”

    That said, I’m a “Better Off Dead” girl all the way.

    Comment by Despina — June 8, 2009 @ 11:37 pm

  5. he’s SO on my list of guys I’d throw my husband over for in a second….and, I’m only slightly older…ok almost 10 years older, but…he’s SO hot!

    Comment by that redhead — June 9, 2009 @ 12:08 am

  6. Definitely Better Off Dead. Thank you for introducing that bit of hotness into my day.

    Comment by Chelsea — June 9, 2009 @ 8:45 am

  7. Ha! I live with a Rob Gordon: vinyl fetish (he does not acknowledge any music not available on vinyl), hangdog eyes, marriage phobia and all. I’d be more bothered by the phobia if I didn’t have a bit of one myself.

    Comment by Lee — June 9, 2009 @ 10:46 am

  8. I used to have a major crush on Mr. Cusack, but I reports I’ve heard from folks who have actually met him convinced me that he’s kind of a douche. I still love Better Off Dead and Grosse Pointe Blanke, I just have zero interest in ever meeting him in real life.

    Comment by Grace — June 9, 2009 @ 5:40 pm

  9. You’re killing me with your Natty Gann reference! Now I feel really old–I was ten when I saw that. I second the bid for the Better Off Dead Cusack. I notice no one has mentioned a movie he’s been in in the last several years…

    Comment by lowbudgetdiva — June 9, 2009 @ 8:43 pm

  10. Cusack actually phoned last year and asked them what their problem was. If I remember, he said, “If I give you an interview, will you stop being such assholes to me?” And then he gave the interview. Verdict: douchey tendencies, but only to Level Tolerably Quirky. Not to Level Obnoxious.

    Comment by raincoaster — June 10, 2009 @ 5:38 am

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