(language warning at 1:14 for the GREATEST LINE OF ALL TIME EVER)
So recently we’ve had an unattractive little spate of trollish comments here in paradise, and while I know 99.44% of you are just sweet innocent baby lambkins who comprise the best and most entertaining readership I’ve ever had (except for that one old lady several years ago who read an article, found my apparently-not-unlisted number and called me at home to tell me I’m a “[expletive] genius” before asking me to explain “the onlines” to her so she could forward the article to her son who bytheway was single.” She was WAY more entertaining than you yahoos. AND had her son not been happily shacking up with a guy named Clay –pronounced KLEE— she’d probably be my mother-in-law.
Anyhoodle, what I’m trying to say is the vast and overwhelming majority of you are awesome but every once in a while we get what Miss Claudia (that’s Ladybird Johnson to the rest of you, remind me to tell you about the time one of her daughters tried to steal a white leather prayer book. Good times.) calls “A fly on the wedding cake.”
Now being enamored of cake on many levels there are few things I won’t do to protect it, and frankly, if someone is going to be spewing bile I’d much rather it be me since I actually get paid to do it. Plus it’s kinda my shtick (for further reading see: “Helen Lawson Production, Number of Stars in a“).
If you make comments that are in any way “illegal, fraudulent, threatening, abusive, defamatory, or obscene” I will report it to your ISP. I’m not saying not to disagree. I’m all about open and lively debate, but keep it cricket and for Gaultier’s sake do NOT go after my cobloggers.
Because Miss Plumcake doesn’t take kindly to people going after her coworkers. Her google finger gets antsy and then sometimes unfortunate things happen.
I mean, it would be an awful shame if someone said something rude about Twistie and then not only got reported but ALSO had their totally embarrassing dragon fic from 1997 linked to on an extremely popular website for fat chicks.
Yep, that would be JUST AWFUL.