I am not going to pretend to have ANY objectivity when it comes to Queen Elizabeth I, because I don’t. I have an A #1 epic love on for Gloriana, history’s favorite fake virgin and that’s all there is. I’m from Virginia, I’m Anglican, I’m a mouthy broad who likes jewelry and bossing people. It’s like we’re twins.
“But Plummy” you say “you hate all that Ren Fest nonsense, in fact you’ve written and deleted something so mean that even YOU won’t print it, even though it’s totally funny and true.”
I know! And it was REALLY mean! And yet homely girls in corsets don’t negate my great big orb-y love for Good Queen Bess. I mean aside from her overall awesomeness and the fact that she owned over 600 pairs of gloves, she FINALLY gave my beloved Church of England some morals.
“I have no desire to make windows into men’s souls”
(Technically in reference to the Catholic/Protestant question, but I prefer to think she just objected a pair of Raleigh’s infamous too-tight breeches)
Parliament learned the hard way you do NOT mess with a woman who has a highly trained attack ermine.
Considering this painting was done while Bitsy was in her 60’s, I’d say her mistress was Sweet Ladye Photoshoppe. Good for her.
I said very much the same thing once, after the girl who deflowered The One True Love Of My Life (summer 1998 edition) got kicked out of our sorority for being an actual no-fooling call girl. Also I used air quotes.
Oh yeah? Well I would kill you all for a swatch of that fabric. Actually, there’s strong evidence to suggest this painting was commissioned to commemorate the fabric itself which was a gift from the oft-married Countess of Shrewsbury.
Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
Daffodils? Double check
INSANE PISSED-OFF TROUT MONSTER? BOAR-TUSKED SEAHORSE? ENORMOUS SEA TICK? check, check and check!